PASSWORD WAS ‘LIPSTICK_PIG’: Oh hey, like every other Republican official in America, Sarah Palin tried to hide her dirty work (and stupid family pictures) by using free Yahoo email accounts. And the HAX0RZ got in there, and our friends at Gawker saved the stuff before it was deleted! (This, for example, is the only known photograph of that poor baby awake/alive.) Oh and probably Dan Rather/Karl Rove faked it all to SHAME OBAMA. [Gawker]

Barack Obama has taken off his gloves again and this is what we have, America: a goofy ad that points out John McCain can’t use a computer. The ad itself is so double-reverse-bizarro-meta ironic that it features that lame cursive font your local PTA likes to use on bake sale flyers. If this is their national media strategy, then we should all hope that the Obama team’s vaunted “ground game” is as sharp as ever. ["Still" Ad]

Thanks to loyal Wonkette operative PeteJayHawk for sending along this latest item for the Obama Web Smear Team. This evil spam message (which leads to a terrible Internet virus, so don’t look at it too closely) encourages the ugly Internet rumors that Obama is a secret “semi-aquatic mammal” with a “barrel-shaped torso, enormous mouth and teeth, hairless body, stubby legs and tremendous size.”

Guess what, Democratic National Committee kids working through the hot summer months while everybody else is pretty much not thinking at all about the election?

The DNC says you can sorta dress down for summer — but not like a complete whore or a bum! Read the new Dress Code and feel the wind beneath your … uh, skirt. MORE »

Wonkette email operative “Bob,” like many Americans, has received an email claiming that Obama is a Muslim, a.k.a. Not American. These patriotic emails are the only way to stop the Obama Conspiracy that threatens to Blackify our government. But Bob, most likely a Liberal, was not so sure he wanted to accept the email as truth, so he replied to the sender that Obama is not a Muslim, and if he were a Muslim that would be acceptable. For this, Bob received the reply, “whatever, he’s not american, white or black……” Despite the authoritative double ellipsis, “Arugula Bob” still couldn’t understand. And that prompted a longer response from the Smearer to Bob, which we have copy-pasted below the jump. MORE »

Terrible Sen. Joe Lieberman mustn’t have “gotten the message” when Barry Obama beat him up on the Senate Floor yesterday. Instead of backing off Obama, Lieberman is now growing advanced human embryos that will mature into 18-year-olds over the course of 5 months, at which point they will have the option of either voting for McCain or being sent to Iraq. Two of these options will send them to Iraq.

BREAKING: Hillary Clinton just conceded in a 2 a.m. email to supporters. She concedes, finally! It’s a good thing we registered at HillaryClinton.com! Let’s read her cyber-concession, after the jump. MORE »

It’s a tough job, being a scheduler for a Congressman on Capitol Hill on Thursday, because that’s when all legislators pretend Friday is not a working day and go home to their loving constituents, where they drink Arnold Palmers and discuss mobile housing arrangements with their side families. Today seems to be an especially hectic Thursday, if the House schedulers’ list serve is any indication. They can’t find icings for their cakes or phone numbers for their Libraries of Congress! MORE »

What makes a truly great Email of the Day? Well, it sure helps to make no direct reference to whatever the hell you’re complaining about, and make sure to only use ALL CAPS, and say a bunch of crazy bullshit, and then finish up by calling everybody else demented. “Maria B.” did all this and more …. MORE »

Do you hate the “sheeple” like we hate the sheeple? Then you’ll love today’s Email of the Day, in which “Jimmy Lightfoot” shares his views on race in America — you do know who the real racists are, right? — and this whole Barack Obama problem. MORE »

It’s time for more fun emails from the Special People! And who do special people love? Ron Paul! And which “non-patriotic” Wonkette post are they even upset about, this time around? Nobody knows! MORE »

IS IT ‘WRITE A LETTER TO WONKETTE DAY’? “Your political views show too much favoritism toward on presidential candidate. If this is truly a gossip column, which it is, you should not be opinionated. — Tanya Suarez” [Wonkette Letters]

Dear Editor,