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Wonkette established itself early as the publication of record for all things Sarah Palin, so it’s no surprise that random mouth-breathing yokels emerging from their basement masturbatoriums to eagerly Google “SARAH PALIN NAKED” would end up looking at this site — a weird amalgam of dirty jokes, paeans to Truck Nutz, and actual political news — and find themselves a little baffled. MORE »
There’s a great new video on the YouTubez, according to today’s Email of the Day. “I hope after listening to my short video you will have leaned something interesting and new. Interesting and new enough to let others know about it. My video is narrated by Mr. W. McSpeedy, a character I created for the sole purpose of what the video is all about.” Fuck yeah, this is going to be awesome. MORE »
EMAIL OF THE DAY:
“from: [REDACTED]
to: tips@wonkette.com
date: Fri, Jul 25, 2008 at 2:19 PM
subject: ASSHOLETTES.COM
ASSHOLETTES. COM — NOW, DOESN’T THAT SOUND BETTER ? ADMIT IT, YOU KNOW IT FITS BETTER WITH ALL THE STUPID CRAP YOU SPEW OUT.”
Ever since the Bingo Hall (Clinton campaign HQ) closed, we’ve experienced a tragic drop-off in whimsical nutball emails. So it was with both gratitude and relief that we opened this gem today. Apparently we should not watch any movies with Scarlett Johansson in them, because it upsets the parents of her clone, or something. Maybe this is one of them viral marketing dealies, for The Island, three years late? Or maybe this chick really is a clone, which sort of makes sense: the blank expression, the monotone … Full frontal kookiness after the jump. MORE »
Oh, you people. We did a nice post about the Bilderberg Group having its big annual elitist meeting in the D.C. Metro Area, starting today, and what do we get for it? A lot of angry paultard-esque emails calling us dumb and elite and not elite and not intellectual and, probably, sheeple. Let’s review the evidence and enjoy the Email of the Day, after the jump. MORE »
Way back in the early 1990s, America learned the hard way that strange e-mails from people with AOL e-mail addresses like “krazi hott lucey” are not “hott” even if they are “krazi.” In other words, Hillary’s special group of educationally challenged “white women” are going to launch a War of Horror against this country, America, that will make Ron Paul’s Revolution look like LOVE spelled backwards. Read the curiously misspelled warning, after the jump.
From: Krazihottkelli@aolcom
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzIf hillary getz screwed over by obama,
white voterz and uz Florida voterz will
make sure we put MCCAINZ WAR MONGER AZZ IN
Charley Crist, My Florida govenor moved up
our primay so he could be john mccainz
vice prezident…my votez not going to
count..thiz iz my very first vote in my
WHOLE EFFEN LIFE ..AND ITZ FOR HILLARY
AND HE STOLE IT..AND I’M PIZZED…SO IF
HILLARY DOEZN’T GET IN…THERE ARE GOING
TO BE A BUNCH OF PIZZED OFF WHITE WOMAN
THAT WILL BE REALLY TO KILL OR FIGHT
SOMEONE..MAYBE EVEN A WHOLE EFFEN COUNTRY.
ZZZZ I WANT MY EFFEN VOTE/I WANT MY HILLARY…NOW..SHE HAZ THE MOZT
VOTEZ..ANDTHE ”’BATTLEGROUND KEY STATES ”’ THAT
BEATZ MCCAINZ 666 YRZ. OF WAR..
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
What makes a truly great Email of the Day? Well, it sure helps to make no direct reference to whatever the hell you’re complaining about, and make sure to only use ALL CAPS, and say a bunch of crazy bullshit, and then finish up by calling everybody else demented. “Maria B.” did all this and more …. MORE »
From: Will Duke
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 10:13 AM
Why can’t I find any coverage of the upcoming fraud case against the Clintons? It’s set for october and would surely hurt the the democrat’s chances if she’s the nominee… MORE »
Readers, what do you have against this exotic creature known as the “booble head”? Why do you take his and the Lord’s name in vain? One concerned Wonkette visitor wants to know why you are such crazed haters that you would patronize a Web site that is basically Lucifer’s inferno, only with swear words. MORE »
Several concerned readers have written to Wonkette pointing out a few errors in our unbiased, information-filled reporting surrounding Debbie Stabenow’s husband’s tragic hooker bust. In bringing this very important information to you, we failed to adequately acquaint ourselves with greater Detroit Metropolitan area roadways, for one, and then there is the little issue of “speaking Mexican.” MORE »
What happens when your editors get so many Nutty McNutball emails in a single day? We are forced to launch Email of the Night, a tragic new feature that will put a much-needed spotlight on America’s people who should go to bed and stop sending the hotmails. Now let’s welcome our first guest on the Long Couch of Problems. MORE »
