Someone was not pleased with our treatment of Mike Huckabee, recently! Especially YOUR treatment, anonymous commenters. You are infidels, against Jesus and Allah. MORE »

This *might* be a first, in which someone wins “Email of the Day” as an award, not a punishment:

From: Brian S.
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 7:49 PM
Subject: wold blitzer is an idiot

wolf blitzer is on jeporady right now and is getting stomped. he is a MORAN. here is really not much of a tip here but whatevs.

HAHAHAH WOLF just got 800 points taken away in a “score correction” because he called julia child julia childs. HE HAS negative 200 dollars. ha make that negative 1000, not kidding negative 3000 now, he is the stupidest person ever.

im stopping now.

From: vernon___@rocketmail.com
To: “ken@wonkette.com”
Date: Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Subject: Fuck all You Asshole at Fox

You mutherfuckers are something else, I hope your organization crumbles. Your a racist organization, and if you work for Fox Then Fuck you & your family

How do we know for sure that the secret third half of the Lucianne/Jonah Goldberg conspiracy is not actually K-Lo? Because Joshua actually wrote to Wonkette on Friday night, when we all know perfectly well that Fridays are Jonah and K-Lo’s “Moral Netflix & Fish Sticks Night.” MORE »

Most of the publicity pitches your Wonkette receives during the workday are for relatively innocuous, easygoing things. “Hey Wonkette me & my buddy Dave just made a hilarious video in our dorm room that your readers would love,” the average one reads. “We dress up in saran wrap & overalls and smash a model town of Sarah Palin Lego pieces with vibrators. Thank you for your consideration.” Today, however, we received a considerably more horrifying and evil pitch from the murky depths of the military-industrial complex. Does a global communications executive from GE seriously think that Wonkette will help his company gin up support for a multi-billion dollar defense contract to build F136 alternate engines for a new fleet of Lockheed Martin F-35 warplanes of death?? MORE »

Yesterday your Wonkette took its turn to write about the “hot new Internet article,” this thing from Townhall, about how Michelle Obama’s mother Marian Robinson has been practicing Satanic witchcraft — or “witchcraft mumbo-jumbo,” as Barack Obama calls it — inside the White House. The author of this important piece of investigative blog journalism, however, was not pleased with your editor’s dissection of the article. She has sent us an e-mail with complaints and makes a number of provocative political arguments. MORE »

Oooh, it’s an angry letter about you, the readers of this wretched clearinghouse of half-literate nonsense, who generate ignorant drivel in incomplete sentences (i.e. “comments”). Our collective fate: far worse than a King Edward II-style red-hot poker to the bum, we shall be punished by mass humiliation … ON TWITTER. MORE »

Not for the first time, we are sort of at a loss to explain how certain bewildered Wonkette visitors find themselves in the unfortunate position of reading the trash that passes for writing on this site. If you are a million-year-old subscriber to motherfucking Juno, shouldn’t you have some sort of pre-installed Internet Pornography Filter that prevents you from even accessing gutter filth like Wonkette? Shouldn’t it redirect you to the Cat Fancy discussion boards, where you can help improve the lives of real people and their Scottish Folds? MORE »

People are finally figuring out the Wonkette — it not only thinks everything is so funny, but it is also cleverly propagating the most vile conspiracy of our Time, that Barack Obama was actually not born at all. He was not born! There, we said it. We don’t care if Robert Gibbs personally milks a gallon of “DNA” from Nobama and shows it on the teevee, there is literally no proof, long form or short term, that Barack Obama was born. Our Constitution says PRESIDENT MUST BE BORN, PERIOD. We think this is the 15th or 2nd amendment. So thank you, “Brian M.,” for figuring out Wonkette is birthers. MORE »

Here’s a very special Email of the Night, starring somebody who must’ve come across a confusing link to your Wonkette on some wingnut message board. We’ve seen a handful of these “referencing nothing in particular” upset emails in the latter half of the week, but as usual there is no way to decipher what exactly attracted the confused ire. Tonight’s terse epistle was sent out on the Internets at exactly 11:07 PM, on a Friday night. So lonely! MORE »

Somehow it seems unlikely that this dude, who vows not to read Wonkette ever again, has read much of it in the past. MORE »