No, Thanksgiving Is Not A Celebration Of Triumph Over Socialism: Your Tofurkey Warblog
It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You [...]
Kid Who Guessed ‘Wasilla’ Was Famous Wasilla Person Sarah Palin’s Hometown ‘Guilty’ On Two Counts
Hooray for Justice: The college kid in Tennessee who correctly guessed the hometown of Wasilla’s ex-mayor Sarah Palin has his verdict. David Kernell, the 22-year-old who “hacked” into Palin’s Yahoo email — which she was illegally using to conduct government business — is officially guilty on two counts.
Unpatriotic Wingnuts Put ‘My Country’ In Scare Quotes
Our favorite-ever letter-writer “Bob” is back, with an email once again expressing his displeasure with our “paper.” But maybe he is confused? Or maybe he just HATES OUR NATION. As we’ve seen with these shocking new surveys of Republican Opinion, “patriotism” these days just means “I hate America so much I want to secede to [...]
22 Million Missing Bush Emails Found, Probably In Alberto Gonzales’ Pants
Hooray, some “White House contractors” have located 22 million emails missing from the Bush Administration’s eight-year crime spree. Some do-gooder group or another sued the White House for access to these obviously incriminating records of daily operations under Bush/Cheney, and whaddya know, 22 million emails were suddenly found, probably on a thumb drive in Alberto [...]
Racist Florida Doctor Guy From Back-When Is Now Among Top Conservative Anti-Reform Voices
Buried somewhere in the middle of the thick “Republicans + E-mail = Racist Anti-Obama Stuff” file is the July case of Dr. David McKalip, the Florida neurosurgeon caught circulating this objectively racist witch doctor image of Barack Obama. McKalip was a major “Tea Party E-mail List Guy” and an active player in the American Medical [...]
Al Franken Wastes No Time, Already Begging For More Campaign Money
It’s almost like they had this campaign-money solicitation prepared even before Norm Coleman conceded!
Wingnut School Board President Sends Usual Wacky Racist Emails To Everybody
It’s a week of the year in America, so that means it’s time for another wingnut local official to get busted for sending the hilarious racist emails to everybody. Meet Robert J. Weller, president of the Lewiston-Porter School Board somewhere in the sticks about 40 miles northeast of Albany somewhere north of Buffalo but it [...]
Capitol Evacuation Email Melodrama In Two Acts
What caused the brief and pretty boring evacuation of the Capitol Visitor Center at 11:25 a.m.? Did the vanilla-chai teabags reach a Singularity? No it was a fire alarm everybody calm the fuck down. A mysterious staffer, “Em-bot,” sent us the entire drama, as represented in Capitol Police emails. It is exciting, if you are [...]
Legislative Aide Loses Mind Over Marriage Bill
Quite possibly the only job worse than mopping the floors in a rendering plant is working in constituent services. So many gross citizens calling angrily all the time, and writing dumb emails, demanding this thing or that thing and generally wasting the time of staffers who could actually be doing something productive if they didn’t [...]
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