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Happy Super Sportsball Bowl Day, everyone! It is a glorious day for New Jersey, as two squads of Human Growth Hormone-injected monsters meet in the state to kick the ball and throw the ball and run very fast and give each other brain damage. But what else is going on in the Garden State today? […]

NorthJersey.com, what did you bring for Show & Tell today? Oh wow! That looks like an email from a top Christie aide that says “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee” (pdf). Class, what do we think about this email? Does it “raise serious doubts about months of claims by the Christie administration that the […]

Hey besties, Wow, it’s Crissmass again! So fun, espcially here in AK (that’s alaskan for Alaska) where Santa Klaze has his summer home and its so dark in winter, it makes me sad but then I go Tanning and it helps a lot, and I look tan then too which also is helps ya know. […]

My fellow Americans, Remember when you were really excited to get an email from me, even though you were pretty sure someone else wrote it? Me too. Those were good days. This Christmas, I thought it would be nice if I could give you that feeling again. The catch is that you have to help […]

Dear Patriot, This year, I was honored when you invited me into your home as the only man in Washington with the guts, the intelligence, the dedication, the bladder control, and the overall excellence to delay a routine budget agreement for many good reasons, especially Obamacare. Now, with Christmas upon us, I’m honored to invite […]

Sisters and brothers, This is the time of year when many of us celebrate holidays! I hope you are enjoying the one or ones you celebrate with any persons you hold dear. I know I am, with Bill and Chelsea and her husband Marc Mezvinsky. I’ll tell you — you haven’t played Scattegories until you’ve […]

It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You […]

In yet another instance of political correctness run amok, a county GOP chair in Illinois has resigned under pressure after calling former Miss America Erika Harold a “street walker” and other charming phrases. Harold is a Republican herself, running in a primary against Montgomery County GOP Chairman Jim Allen’s favored candidate, incumbent Rep. Rodney Davis. […]

It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You […]

As we learned in Sunday School, it’s super important to make a good “first impression” when sending some spam email to a 2008 political supporter. How many emails do you delete without opening because the subject makes it perfectly clear what’s in that email? Let’s say “ninety percent,” to be conservative (like Obama!). For several […]

As always with the very special emails to your Wonkette, tonight’s gem offers no particular point of reference. We can assume it’s a generalized response to this or that post about income inequality or the nation’s biggest corporations evading all taxation, but assumptions are never wise when dealing with a teatard on the Hotmail. Are […]

Hooray for Justice: The college kid in Tennessee who correctly guessed the hometown of Wasilla’s ex-mayor Sarah Palin has his verdict. David Kernell, the 22-year-old who “hacked” into Palin’s Yahoo email — which she was illegally using to conduct government business — is officially guilty on two counts.

Our favorite-ever letter-writer “Bob” is back, with an email once again expressing his displeasure with our “paper.” But maybe he is confused? Or maybe he just HATES OUR NATION. As we’ve seen with these shocking new surveys of Republican Opinion, “patriotism” these days just means “I hate America so much I want to secede to […]

Hooray, some “White House contractors” have located 22 million emails missing from the Bush Administration’s eight-year crime spree. Some do-gooder group or another sued the White House for access to these obviously incriminating records of daily operations under Bush/Cheney, and whaddya know, 22 million emails were suddenly found, probably on a thumb drive in Alberto […]

Christmas seasons starts earlier every year, they say! At malls and stuff! They start selling Christmas things earlier every year! Ha ha ha it is the funniest trend. But what of its corollary, the War on Christmas, the wingnuts’ seasonal proxy war to defend its precious nativism from the clutches of terrorists and House Democrats? […]