June 19, 2013
It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You [...]
As we learned in Sunday School, it’s super important to make a good “first impression” when sending some spam email to a 2008 political supporter. How many emails do you delete without opening because the subject makes it perfectly clear what’s in that email? Let’s say “ninety percent,” to be conservative (like Obama!). For several [...]
Hooray for Justice: The college kid in Tennessee who correctly guessed the hometown of Wasilla’s ex-mayor Sarah Palin has his verdict. David Kernell, the 22-year-old who “hacked” into Palin’s Yahoo email — which she was illegally using to conduct government business — is officially guilty on two counts.
Our favorite-ever letter-writer “Bob” is back, with an email once again expressing his displeasure with our “paper.” But maybe he is confused? Or maybe he just HATES OUR NATION. As we’ve seen with these shocking new surveys of Republican Opinion, “patriotism” these days just means “I hate America so much I want to secede to [...]
Hooray, some “White House contractors” have located 22 million emails missing from the Bush Administration’s eight-year crime spree. Some do-gooder group or another sued the White House for access to these obviously incriminating records of daily operations under Bush/Cheney, and whaddya know, 22 million emails were suddenly found, probably on a thumb drive in Alberto [...]
Christmas seasons starts earlier every year, they say! At malls and stuff! They start selling Christmas things earlier every year! Ha ha ha it is the funniest trend. But what of its corollary, the War on Christmas, the wingnuts’ seasonal proxy war to defend its precious nativism from the clutches of terrorists and House Democrats? [...]
Buried somewhere in the middle of the thick “Republicans + E-mail = Racist Anti-Obama Stuff” file is the July case of Dr. David McKalip, the Florida neurosurgeon caught circulating this objectively racist witch doctor image of Barack Obama. McKalip was a major “Tea Party E-mail List Guy” and an active player in the American Medical [...]
It’s almost like they had this campaign-money solicitation prepared even before Norm Coleman conceded!
It’s a week of the year in America, so that means it’s time for another wingnut local official to get busted for sending the hilarious racist emails to everybody. Meet Robert J. Weller, president of the Lewiston-Porter School Board somewhere in the sticks about 40 miles northeast of Albany somewhere north of Buffalo but it [...]
Hmm, any Republicans forward some Email lately? Oh yes, sure, here we go: “Diann Jones, a vice chairman of the Collin County Republican Party, has apologized for an e-mail that some local judges denounced as racist.” Hooray! As is usual in such cases, this GOP leader from this Dallas exurb is denying any racist intent [...]
What caused the brief and pretty boring evacuation of the Capitol Visitor Center at 11:25 a.m.? Did the vanilla-chai teabags reach a Singularity? No it was a fire alarm everybody calm the fuck down. A mysterious staffer, “Em-bot,” sent us the entire drama, as represented in Capitol Police emails. It is exciting, if you are [...]
Quite possibly the only job worse than mopping the floors in a rendering plant is working in constituent services. So many gross citizens calling angrily all the time, and writing dumb emails, demanding this thing or that thing and generally wasting the time of staffers who could actually be doing something productive if they didn’t [...]
As the first president to use email in the White House, just a dozen years after email became the civilized world’s primary form of communication, Barack Obama is the world’s greatest technological revolutionary, because of his new Blackberry featuring encryption. But who gets to forward stupid jokes and YouTubes to our Commander in Chief? Hardly [...]
Sorry dudes all the resumes you sent to the White House this morning were not received, because George Bush broke the emails before he left office. Jesus, nothing in the White House works, nothing! They have to send communications to each other through pneumatic tubes, as was popular in the 50s, and Barack Obama talks [...]
blog advertising is good for you