Ancient mysterious woodland elf Elwyn Tinklenberg, Jesus-envoy to Minnesota’s freshwater meth hellscape, has dropped his latest (third?) bid to kill Michele Bachmann, politically, in 2010. He enjoyed a few days as America’s #1 guy in 2008 when it looked like he could’ve picked off Bachmann in the eleventh hour after she went nuts, as usual, but in an instance when people were actually paying attention. But fear not, liberal sallies! The chivalrous Elwyn quitteth only to avoid an ugly primary fight with a certain Tarryl Clark, who is… let’s see here… oooooh, a lady-person. Hello miss lady who could easily be Michele Bachmann’s younger sister! [TPM]

INFAMOUS MINNESOTA FOREST SPRITE RETURNS FROM SPACE TO CHALLENGE BACHMANN AGAIN: He’s in baby, HE’S IN IT 2 WIN IT. The greatest elf in Minnesota history, Elwyn Tinklenberg, has THROW’D his hat in the ring for Michele Bachmann’s House seat in 2010 after narrowly losing to her in last year’s stolen election. It was only close last year because Michele Bachmann said we should have Witch Trials for members of Congress. Since inauguration she has said things far worse than that literally every day, so the delightful hobbit should uhh win. (PLEASE DON’T WIN THOUGH! WE NEED COMEDY.) [MN Progressive Project]

HOW SCREWED IS MICHELE BACHMANN? DETAILS AT 11: SurveyUSA will release a tasty new poll for Minnesota’s District 6 at 11pm Eastern tonight. Prediction: Bachmann is winning by 50 points, at least. [SurveyUSA]