Wonkette

Every four years, America learns that young, attractive entertainers like Miss Jennifer Garner support the Democrats, while, uh, Bo Derek supports the Republicans. But this presidential campaign is so different! Why? Because there are now old, ugly entertainers supporting a Democrat. The photo evidence may shock you! MORE »

Last night after the Elton John concert, Terry McAuliffe — the former DNC chair and current overlord of the Hillary Clinton for President committee — rode a fucking mechanical bull, according to a Wonkette mechanical bull operative. She says it was approximately 1 a.m. after the show at Johnny Utah’s bar on West 51st St., “a place famous for having the only mechanical bull in Manhattan and for its regular bull riding challenges.” Drunkest man alive? If anyone else was there, please let us know how long he lasted and send photos of him face down on the ground, spitting dirt.

The only British citizen of any distinction who supports Hillary Clinton is Elton John. The rest of the tea-swilling liberal Socialists in the tiny island nation of London would vote for Barack Obama if they could, and now even Americans living abroad are catching Obama Fever. In fact, several prominent Anglo-American celebrities have hosted various Obama fundraisers in their City of Ancient Plumbing! Find out which uppity former New Yorkers are now funding Hopey in pounds sterling. MORE »

[Secret proceedings inside dank, humid HILLARY CLINTON campaign lair]: Mark Penn hold focus group. Focus group show Gay Community support for Clinton eroding. Philadelphia votes important in upcoming Pennsylvania election. Elton John: gay, has song called “Philadelphia Freedom.” MARK PENN MAKE ELTON JOHN PERFORM HILLARY CONCERT APRIL 9. Mark Penn eat baby dinosaur for snack break. [HillaryClinton.com]