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Tag: ellen degeneres

It’s Your Super Duper Mega-Nice 2016 Ultimate Nice Time Compendium!

We could all use some Nice Time about now. Here, have a whole lot of it.

Let’s Watch Hillary Clinton Dance With That Ken Bone Dude, Because It’s Friday

Hillary went on 'The Ellen Show'! It was great!

What Ellen DeGeneres And Katy Perry Did For Pulse Shooting Survivor Will Make You Sob Happy Tears

Start your weekends off right with THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY.
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Tried To Warn You About Obama’s Lesbian Farmers, But You LAUGHED AT HIM

Rush knows liberals are OUTRAGED that he figured out Obama's secret lesbian farmer conspiracy plans!

Hillary’s Veep Revealed, And It Is Beyoncé! Your Weekly Dance Party

You come listen to all these songs RIGHT NOW, because Vice President Beyoncé said so.

Does Hillary Clinton Love Christina Aguilera’s Booby Knockers More Than She Loves America?

Is Hillary Clinton a secret Hillzbian? PROBABLY. But she DEFINITELY murdered Vince Foster.

Nice Time! Ellen DeGeneres Tells Mississippi Where To Ram Its New Gay-Hatin’ Law

Ellen DeGeneres is America's Sweetheart for a reason. She is also a lot of the reason the gay agenda has been crammed so tightly into our nation's throat, because who does not love Ellen The Lesbian Funny Gal? People who...
STARBURSTS

Let’s Watch Barack And Michelle Obama Make Goo Goo Sexes At Each Other In Public

The birds are chirping and the salmons are sexing (somewhere probably) and love is in the air! That's because Sunday is Valentine's Day, and OK yeah we get it, the holiday is total BS, a thing foisted on those...
HAPPY BERNIE!

Here’s Bernie Sanders On The Ellen Show, Talkin’ About Handcuffs And Tight Panties

Oh look, Bernie Sanders has a softer side! He's not all GRRRRR! free college and AAAAAARGH! murder Wall Street all the time. Sen. Sanders stopped by the Ellen show, probably because he was still in the neighborhood after Tuesday's...
Stanky Leg

Here’s Your Video Of Hillary Clinton Twerking Like She’s Miley Cyrus Or Something

OK that headline may be overselling this a little bit. Hillary Clinton is 67, and she is a white grandma lady, so we can forgive her for not having the moves of a Beyoncé or a Michelle Obama. But she's trying! Hillary went on...
Bad-ass Janelle Monae rocking a tux, GONNA BAN HER FROM PROM TOO?

Louisiana Principal Determined To Ruin Prom For Bad-A** Tux-Wearing Lesbian Honors Student

Priorities! Carroll High School in Monroe, Louisiana, has them! Claudetteia Love is 17, she is a top honors student headed to college on a full scholarship, and she would like to go the prom with her friends. She would...

Here Are Barack And Michelle Obama On Television, So Probably Someone Is Mad About That

Barack "Barry Bamz Obummer the Kenyan" Obama went on the Jimmy Kimmel program to do that segment Jimmy sometimes does, where celebrities read all the mean and nasty things Twitter says about them, even though really, the ones they picked...

There’s So Much Stuff About Homosexuals In This Afternoon’s Happy Links

We've got a cornucopia of Happy links for you today. Mia Wasikowska is our new indie film darling, and she should be yours too! We imagined a day in the life of Pat Sajak. It wasn't pretty. A Catholic school principal committed...

Catholic School Principal Must Atone Forever For Sin Of Putting Ellen DeGeneres On School Dance Fliers

Was your high school principal always trying to be down with the kids, but then did something embarrassing like putting pix of Kid'n'Play on a flier - in 2004? Pity the poor Catholic school principal who tried to be...

No, YOU’RE Crying Over this Sweet “Screw You, Haters” Ad From Honey Maid Graham Crackers

Last month, Honey Maid graham crackers, which you buy once per year for s'mores and then leave at the back of the cupboard until the mice get them or they turn to dust, aired an ad that said everybody...

Barack Obama Goes On Ellen To Push His Radical Selfie-Taking Agenda

Your president of these here United States Barack Obama visited the Ellen show today via remote, which meant that his picture weirdly floated above Ellen, twice her size, which he probably demanded because of how he is such a...