ellen degeneres

It has been a banner fucking year for the teh gheys. There was tons of election-winning, gay-marrying, company-wrecking, and general ruining of morals and common decency everywhere. Shockingly, we learned that a lesbian cabal runs the DHS, because when the revolution comes it will damn sure start with ‘mos taking over executive agencies. We watched [...]

Good day to you, FLOTUS fans! How have you been lately? Have you been obeying your morning arm-workout regimen or have you been binge eating in your bathroom? Michelle is always watching, you know! Your FLOTUS correspondent has been busy these past few weeks, considering a run for Jesse Jackson, Jr.’s congressional seat. (This is [...]

If you’re anything like us, and we know you are (yeah, we tried to make that sound better too, but there’s no help for it thanks to the royal “we”), you’ve been wondering how you can best hoard your hard-earned dollars to ensure that companies are punished for liking, or even just tolerating, teh ghey. [...]

Everything was going great with the women and the men, who stopped fighting against women/each other this weekend just long enough to watch ‘Shark Tank’ and eat a few hot dogs, but now Michelle Obama has something to say. It is a picture, which as you know can say a lot, especially if the picture [...]

Having already been totally slaughtered, the Warriors for Tolerance, Empathy and Good Taste known as “One Million Moms” (seven moms) have declared victory against Ellen Degeneres (Saddam Hussein) in their fight against her Manchurian Candidate stealth mission to educate Americans to the benefits of the Jaclyn Smith Kardashian Kollection Olsen Twins fashion line. And that’s [...]

Poisonous creature of the deep Bill O’Reilly did a segment on his show Tuesday about One Million Moms’ boycott of Ellen DeGeneres’ spokesperson deal with JC Penney. Strangely, the segment was, for the most optimistic among us, some evidence that world peace will happen before the world ends (which is this year). Ellen recently signed [...]

For a brief moment, our First Lady Michelle Obama’s appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres show was all fun and games. Our FLOTUS danced her way onto the stage in her usual style and then sat down with Ellen to discuss (what else?) Barack Obama’s socks. The gossip is that Barack Obama does not pick up [...]

Rumors about former RNC chair Ken Mehlman’s Complete Gayness have been swirling around for years and years.  Mike Rogers outed him several years back, as part of his campaign to rid the political world of homosexuals who cynically use the rest of the gay community as bait in order to convince rubes, yahoos, bumpkins and [...]

There is an ENTIRE WORLD you are apparently missing if you don’t sit at home all day watching the daytime teevee programs. For Example: There is a show called Ellen which consists of political personalities such as Barack Obama and Chris Matthews doing a retarded dance. Then there are commercials, probably for weight-loss schemes or [...]

Remember how Barack Obama went on Ellen that one time, and then his wife went on, and then yesterday he went on again and proved through his dancing that he is indeed half white? Well, here is the new footage. Also: midway through we see a photograph of a young Obama in a pirate costume [...]

Your pretend Jackie Kennedy girlfriend, Michelle Obama, appeared on daytime teevee today and did what all daytime teevee guests do: dance with that famous lesbian gal, Ellen. Barack Obama has been there, although he kept his muted dance moves within “the safe zone,” a politician’s best friend. BUT MICHELLE JUST GOES NUTS WITH HER DANCING, [...]

You will certainly want to watch all eight minutes of Jenna and Laura’s crazy time over on the lesbian teevee show! Let us know if anything good happens. For us, the highlight was about 35 seconds in when Jenna sits down and crosses her legs and flashes some panty. And then we quit watching, because [...]


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