Tag Archives: elizabeth warren

  Complete with matching blankies for you and your libertarian sex lover

Let’s All Poke Through Rand Paul’s Online Garage Sale And Then Not Buy Anything

Today is the day Rand Paul has been waiting for, when Rand Paul announced that Rand Paul will officially lose the 2016 election! And wouldn’t you know it, he came prepared, for he has many, many nice things for sale, in case you need Rand Paul on your tits, your dick, or your bedroom ceiling, which is where you’ll want to put that fancy eye chart up there! Yours for only $20.16! He did an eye chart, you see, because he pretends to be an ophthalmologist. Read more on Let’s All Poke Through Rand Paul’s Online Garage Sale And Then Not Buy Anything…
  make yourself a nice bloody mary and sit with us

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won’t you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn’t all Indiana and gays and religious freedom! (Er, actually a lot of it was, but other things also happened, according to our admittedly hazy memory.) Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!…
  Allow her to retort

Elizabeth Warren To Wall Street: Drop Dead

Oh, she knows all right. That's why you're worried.
The too-big-to-fail banks think they’re going to teach Professor Elizabeth Warren and the rest of her progressive rebel scum a lesson about saying mean things about them. As we just learned, the heads of the five families dick-swingers from Citigroup, JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs, and Bank of America have been talking amongst themselves about how to get Warren to pipe down with all her talk about how corrupt they are and how they caused the financial crisis in 2008 that almost broke the country. Their bright ideas include withholding $15,000 per bank in “campaign donations to Senate Democrats in symbolic protest,” or possibly leaving a horse’s head in Sen. Warren’s bed. Read more on Elizabeth Warren To Wall Street: Drop Dead…
 

Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course

it's not playing the
On Saturday, your blackest president ever, Barack Obama, traveled to Selma, Alabama, to speak at the 50th anniversary commemoration of “Bloody Sunday,” when civil rights protesters were beaten by police when they walked across the Edmund Pettus Bridge. The events of Bloody Sunday and other protest marches in Alabama led directly to the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, so this is an excellent event to solemnly celebrate, and we are very happy that both Republicans and Democrats joined in attending the event, including former President George W. Bush and many congressional Republicans. Read more on Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course…
  Party Like It's 1999

Centrist ‘Democrats’ Unveil Bold ‘Plan’ To Stop That Commie Elizabeth Warren

See, 'cuz the cow is straddl-- Never mind.
Since its founding in 1997, the New Democrat Coalition (NDC) has been a safe space for liberals who consider themselves “conservative-curious.” For 18 years, these still-finding-themselves Dems remained silent about their true desires. But this week, they finally came out and said what everyone knew they wanted to say. Read more on Centrist ‘Democrats’ Unveil Bold ‘Plan’ To Stop That Commie Elizabeth Warren…
  You click now

Fine, Here Is Today’s Elizabeth Warren Video For You To Fap To

Now sit up straight and learn some stuff
So Senate Republicans have a shiny new thing they’re calling the Congressional Review Act on Ambush Elections (S.J. Res. 8), and it’s terrible and dumb because of course it is. The resolution would prevent the National Labor Relations Board from implementing new proposed rules to modernize union elections to make the process more efficient for workers. But because Republicans hate unions and elections and workers and efficiency, they’d rather keep the system from the last century, to protect poor oppressed employers from being “ambushed” by the democratic process. Read more on Fine, Here Is Today’s Elizabeth Warren Video For You To Fap To…
  School of Hard Fox

Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?

The real question: Is Fox News hunting or gathering?
Let’s say you went to a corrupt for-profit college that engaged in fraudulent recruiting practices, spent more on advertising than education, and was eventually shut down by the government for noncompliance with requests for data on graduation rates and job placements. You might feel just a little ripped off, mightn’t you? Well, you are clearly What’s Wrong With America Today, because according to Fox’s Neil Cavuto and friends, you’re a whiny victim taker who takes no responsibility for their actions. Read more on Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?…
  Elizabeth Warren for everything -- again

The Professor Schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren Primer On How Republicans Ruined Our Whole Day

Our hero, again
Oh, is it Sen. Elizabeth Warren kicks some Republican ass again o’clock already? Why yes it is! Earlier this week, Warren and fellow Legislative Badass Rep. Elijah Cummings launched their new Middle Class Prosperity Project because they are a couple of actual Democrats who would like to see the middle class prosper (and no, not by doling out corporate tax cuts, that’s not how you do it, Rick Perry). Read more on The Professor Schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren Primer On How Republicans Ruined Our Whole Day…
  More of this please

Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To

Call them by their proper titles: Legislative Badasses
What have we here? Oh, just another plan from two of Wonkette’s most favorite legislators, Bestest Senator Ever Elizabeth Warren and Inaugural Legislative Badass award winner Rep. Elijah Cummings, to save the middle class from the Republican plan to destroy it, with a new thing they are calling the Middle Class Prosperity Project. Read more on Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To…
  Grrrrrl talk

Hillz And Liz Warren Braid Each Other’s Hair, Plan World Domination (Probably)

And we're going to reclaim 'Tea Party' for girls, dammit
BREAKING! Alert! Sirens! Semaphore flags, interpretative dance, and sky writing! We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this critical and game-changing news: Hillary Rodham Clinton held a private, one-on-one meeting with Senator Elizabeth Warren in December at Mrs. Clinton’s Washington home, a move by the Democrats’ leading contender in 2016 to cultivate the increasingly influential senator and leader of the party’s economic populist movement. Read more on Hillz And Liz Warren Braid Each Other’s Hair, Plan World Domination (Probably)…
 

Gee Does It Seem Like Elizabeth Warren Knows More About Banks Than This Bank Lobbyist Does?

Sen. Elizabeth Warren has been so busy yelling, in her polite schoolmarm voice, of course, at ALL the bad guys — Big Pharma and anti-vaxxers and her Senate colleagues on the other side of the aisle who think they work for Citibank (they do not) — that it’s nice to see her get back to her roots of yelling at those som’bitch banker types who tried to bankrupt America. Read more on Gee Does It Seem Like Elizabeth Warren Knows More About Banks Than This Bank Lobbyist Does?…
  communists in the bed

Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!

Y’all, y’all, y’all! Your inappropriately sexualized* Professorski Elizabeth Warrenovna T-shirts are in, and we have begun mailing them to you through the USPS! Here are your links for the purchasing of the women’s T-shirts, and also the men’s, as modeled here by our husband, Shypixel, Sexy Beast. Read more on Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!…
  Another edition of the Mitt spins

Who’s The Best Liberal To Take On Hillary Clinton? Mitt Romney, Of Course

A regular man of the people
Good news, liberals! While Hero Badass Queen For Everything Please Sen. Elizabeth Warren still is not answering those 2016 draft calls, there is a super lefty liberal who is dying SO HARD to be your president. He will take on that corporate Wall Street shill Hillary Clinton and sing sweet populist lullabies into your ears while eating the hearts of the rich right before your very eyes, for your politicaltainment pleasure. That’s right, tree-huggers, Mitt Romney is your new liberal hero: Read more on Who’s The Best Liberal To Take On Hillary Clinton? Mitt Romney, Of Course…