Tag Archives: elizabeth warren

  Party Like It's 1999

Centrist ‘Democrats’ Unveil Bold ‘Plan’ To Stop That Commie Elizabeth Warren

See, 'cuz the cow is straddl-- Never mind.
Since its founding in 1997, the New Democrat Coalition (NDC) has been a safe space for liberals who consider themselves “conservative-curious.” For 18 years, these still-finding-themselves Dems remained silent about their true desires. But this week, they finally came out and said what everyone knew they wanted to say. Read more on Centrist ‘Democrats’ Unveil Bold ‘Plan’ To Stop That Commie Elizabeth Warren…
  You click now

Fine, Here Is Today’s Elizabeth Warren Video For You To Fap To

Now sit up straight and learn some stuff
So Senate Republicans have a shiny new thing they’re calling the Congressional Review Act on Ambush Elections (S.J. Res. 8), and it’s terrible and dumb because of course it is. The resolution would prevent the National Labor Relations Board from implementing new proposed rules to modernize union elections to make the process more efficient for workers. But because Republicans hate unions and elections and workers and efficiency, they’d rather keep the system from the last century, to protect poor oppressed employers from being “ambushed” by the democratic process. Read more on Fine, Here Is Today’s Elizabeth Warren Video For You To Fap To…
  School of Hard Fox

Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?

The real question: Is Fox News hunting or gathering?
Let’s say you went to a corrupt for-profit college that engaged in fraudulent recruiting practices, spent more on advertising than education, and was eventually shut down by the government for noncompliance with requests for data on graduation rates and job placements. You might feel just a little ripped off, mightn’t you? Well, you are clearly What’s Wrong With America Today, because according to Fox’s Neil Cavuto and friends, you’re a whiny victim taker who takes no responsibility for their actions. Read more on Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?…
  Elizabeth Warren for everything -- again

The Professor Schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren Primer On How Republicans Ruined Our Whole Day

Our hero, again
Oh, is it Sen. Elizabeth Warren kicks some Republican ass again o’clock already? Why yes it is! Earlier this week, Warren and fellow Legislative Badass Rep. Elijah Cummings launched their new Middle Class Prosperity Project because they are a couple of actual Democrats who would like to see the middle class prosper (and no, not by doling out corporate tax cuts, that’s not how you do it, Rick Perry). Read more on The Professor Schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren Primer On How Republicans Ruined Our Whole Day…
  More of this please

Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To

Call them by their proper titles: Legislative Badasses
What have we here? Oh, just another plan from two of Wonkette’s most favorite legislators, Bestest Senator Ever Elizabeth Warren and Inaugural Legislative Badass award winner Rep. Elijah Cummings, to save the middle class from the Republican plan to destroy it, with a new thing they are calling the Middle Class Prosperity Project. Read more on Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To…
  Grrrrrl talk

Hillz And Liz Warren Braid Each Other’s Hair, Plan World Domination (Probably)

And we're going to reclaim 'Tea Party' for girls, dammit
BREAKING! Alert! Sirens! Semaphore flags, interpretative dance, and sky writing! We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this critical and game-changing news: Hillary Rodham Clinton held a private, one-on-one meeting with Senator Elizabeth Warren in December at Mrs. Clinton’s Washington home, a move by the Democrats’ leading contender in 2016 to cultivate the increasingly influential senator and leader of the party’s economic populist movement. Read more on Hillz And Liz Warren Braid Each Other’s Hair, Plan World Domination (Probably)…
 

Gee Does It Seem Like Elizabeth Warren Knows More About Banks Than This Bank Lobbyist Does?

Sen. Elizabeth Warren has been so busy yelling, in her polite schoolmarm voice, of course, at ALL the bad guys — Big Pharma and anti-vaxxers and her Senate colleagues on the other side of the aisle who think they work for Citibank (they do not) — that it’s nice to see her get back to her roots of yelling at those som’bitch banker types who tried to bankrupt America. Read more on Gee Does It Seem Like Elizabeth Warren Knows More About Banks Than This Bank Lobbyist Does?…
  All your questions answered forever

Elizabeth Warren Asks Questions About Vaccines, Gets Shocking Answers

Do you still have any doubts or questions whatsoever that yes, you should definitely vaccinate your kids, and no, you should not believe debunked “studies” that vaccinating your kids is bad? Really? Have you not paid any attention AT ALL? Read more on Elizabeth Warren Asks Questions About Vaccines, Gets Shocking Answers…
  communists in the bed

Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!

Y’all, y’all, y’all! Your inappropriately sexualized* Professorski Elizabeth Warrenovna T-shirts are in, and we have begun mailing them to you through the USPS! Here are your links for the purchasing of the women’s T-shirts, and also the men’s, as modeled here by our husband, Shypixel, Sexy Beast. Read more on Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!…
  Another edition of the Mitt spins

Who’s The Best Liberal To Take On Hillary Clinton? Mitt Romney, Of Course

A regular man of the people
Good news, liberals! While Hero Badass Queen For Everything Please Sen. Elizabeth Warren still is not answering those 2016 draft calls, there is a super lefty liberal who is dying SO HARD to be your president. He will take on that corporate Wall Street shill Hillary Clinton and sing sweet populist lullabies into your ears while eating the hearts of the rich right before your very eyes, for your politicaltainment pleasure. That’s right, tree-huggers, Mitt Romney is your new liberal hero: Read more on Who’s The Best Liberal To Take On Hillary Clinton? Mitt Romney, Of Course…
  May Also Rough Them Up And Take Their Lunch Money

Elizabeth Warren Bored Kicking Wall Street’s Ass, Goes After Big Pharma For Little Change Of Pace

Please pay your corporate fines in full. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Elizabeth Warren took a brief break from kicking Wall Street’s ass to kick some entirely new categories of corporate hinders this week, with a proposal to fund medical research with settlements from lawbreaking pharmaceutical companies. Next week, she plans to introduce a bill called the Medical Innovation Act, which would impose an extra fee on drug companies when they settle lawsuits with the government: Read more on Elizabeth Warren Bored Kicking Wall Street’s Ass, Goes After Big Pharma For Little Change Of Pace…
  You shall not pass!

Elizabeth Warren Defeats Wall Street Treasury Dude, With Fire

Just. Don't. Mess. With. Her.
Guess who is not resting on her laurels even though she won the prestigious Wonkette Legislative Badass of the Year Award for 2014, and there is not any higher award than that, so why would she need to keep going to work every day? It is your favorite senator from Massachusetts and human flamethrower for justice, Elizabeth Warren! Read more on Elizabeth Warren Defeats Wall Street Treasury Dude, With Fire…
  The Democratic Wing Of The Democratic Party Is Back

Democrats Trying To Tax Wall Street, Sounding Suspiciously Like Actual Democrats

But why would they work if they can't buy that second Maybach for weekends?
Looks like it’s time for another of those post-election reinvention crazes that political parties are so big on. A bunch of top Democrats, perhaps noticing the rave reviews that Elizabeth Warren has been getting from The Base — that’s why they made her Queen of the Democrats — are mulling over the possibility of rebranding the party with a more overt We Luv Middle Class And Wall Street Sux message. Tell us more, WaPo’s Lori Montgomery and Paul Kane: Read more on Democrats Trying To Tax Wall Street, Sounding Suspiciously Like Actual Democrats…
  Customer Service Agreement With America

GOP Senate Says Obama Must Make Sweet Love To America’s Oil Lobbyists, Or Else

Haha, good one!
Republicans formally took control of the United States Senate on Tuesday, free at last to indulge in their love of sweet, sweet, crude and its associated lobbyists — a love that has been forbidden by their overly-strict totalitarian dad, Barack Obama, who made no secret that he did not approve. The GOP has been waiting eight long years, staring longingly out the window, so they’ve had plenty of time to think about the best way to approach this promising courtship. We thought they might keep their love under wraps the way they’ve been yammering on about bipartisan cooperation and compromise, leading us to think they’d start their new session with something Father Barry likes. Maybe service dogs for veterans? The Little Old Lady Street-Crossing Assistance Act of 2015? National Fuzzy Kitten Appreciation Day? Let’s check in! Read more on GOP Senate Says Obama Must Make Sweet Love To America’s Oil Lobbyists, Or Else…
  Best damn Elizabeth Warren ever

Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh

How much do we heart the senator and perfessor of Massachusetts, the greatest and bestest Elizabeth Warren who ever Elizabeth Warrened? Pretty much all. Sure, there are a few — a very few — non-Elizabeth Warrens in the Senate who aren’t too bad for being non-Elizabeth Warrens. Bernie Sanders, the socialist senator from Vermont, isn’t too bad at badassing and makes a mighty fine runner-up for 2014 Legislative Badass. Read more on Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Fans Of Killer Cops Can Breathe Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?

Back away, little pony. These are not nice people.
Time for another roundup of the dumbest of the worst of the unfathomably stupid! We scrape the mishegas off our browser tabs, puree it into a frothy mess, and serve it up to you with a warning to not overdo it on the brain bleach. Proceed with caution and gin. Read more on Derp Roundup: Fans Of Killer Cops Can Breathe Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  I Think We're All Bozos On This Cromnibus

Lindsey Graham Yells At Elizabeth Warren In Preview Of Alternate Universe Presidential Debate

We'd pay good American money to watch this debate
So over the weekend, the Senate miraculously avoided shutting down the entire government by passing that “Cromnibus” budget bill, hooray! The bill included all kinds of special favors to special interests, including a very special little gift for giant banks that had been written by lobbyists for Citibank and inserted into the must-pass bill at the last minute. Read more on Lindsey Graham Yells At Elizabeth Warren In Preview Of Alternate Universe Presidential Debate…
  Everybody Off The Cromnibus

Elizabeth Warren Hell-Raising On Senate Floor: ‘Who Do You Work For?’ (Citigroup, Duh)

Please pay your corporate fines in full. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Elizabeth Warren did a bit of outreach to Republicans today, urging them to remove from the omnibus budget bill that rollback of part of the Dodd-Frank financial reform law that we covered earlier today. If you really oppose government bailouts, she said, then why on earth would you vote for this measure that would allow FDIC insurance to bail out banks that lose money on derivatives trades — those risky little gambles that crashed the world economy back in 2008? She notes that, on this one at least, she’s in agreement with such radical commies as David Vitter and even Redstate, where a front page post today admitted, Read more on Elizabeth Warren Hell-Raising On Senate Floor: ‘Who Do You Work For?’ (Citigroup, Duh)…
  conservachristmas

Here Are Stupid Things To Buy For The Beloved Idiot Republicans In Your Life

Greetings, godless liberals! Since you don’t celebrate Christmas in your heathen belief system, you might not realize that the more upright members of society are using one of their “holy days” as a reason to spend the next two weeks exchanging bobbles and trinkets to signal fellowship and lord their financial prosperity over each other. Read more on Here Are Stupid Things To Buy For The Beloved Idiot Republicans In Your Life…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Elizabeth Warren Splainers The Budget Bill For Dummies (Video)

two of our favorite people
It’s not especially surprising that in any must-pass bill, some pretty iffy stuff gets shoved in, and in the Spirit of Bipartisanship (also last-minute panic), it even gets passed. The Great Big Keep The Lights On Omnibus Bill currently slouching through Congress has one provision that Wonkette Hero Elizabeth Warren insists will not stand: a provision — which she says was literally written by Citigroup lobbyists — to strip out a “no bailouts” rule in the Dodd-Frank financial reform law. If it passes, banks will once again have some of their most risky investment gambles insured by the FDIC. That is, a return to the same old principle of private gain and socialized risk that got us into such a mess in 2008. Warren is against it, Nancy Pelosi is against it, and it could threaten Democratic support for the budget measure. Watch this interview, take a look at Warren’s blog post on the provision, and do your part to keep America free by buying a Wonkette Elizabeth Warren coffee mug. Read more on Morning Maddow: Elizabeth Warren Splainers The Budget Bill For Dummies (Video)…