elizabeth edwards
America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress
Sorry, guys, but GAME OVER. Illinois Congressman and paragon of personal responsibility Joe Walsh has handily defeated his opponent even with four weeks or whatever left to go. How did he do this? By holding up, during their debate, a photo of his opponent picking out a dress to wear at the Democratic National Convention, [...]
Rielle Hunter and ‘Johnny’ Edwards Consummate Greatest Love Story Of Our Time
Watch out Liz and Dick, and Romeo and Juliet, and Buttercup and Wesley, and Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, and Bristol Palin and that creepy Gino guy: Rielle Hunter is here to write the gauzy, Vaseline-lensed story of her Great Love with the world’s best husband, father, and all around guy, John Edwards, and it [...]
GOP Congress Ratifies Constitution Again Or Something?
John Boehner will create more jobs today by forcing members of Congress to take turns reading passages from the United States Constitution, because one of the new “rules” is that the 112th Congress has to “do something third graders would do, in social studies class” before they can begin the business of the day (shouting [...]
Elizabeth Edwards Is Dying, Hates the Baby (Baby Jesus)
Hey you guys, Elizabeth Edwards, that lady whose husband cheated on her, is now dying. Do you remember when John Edwards announced she was dying of cancer at the beginning of his 2008 campaign, but he was staying in the race so you would vote for him out of pity? Yeah, that campaign promise was [...]
Elizabeth Edwards Leaves John After Seeing His Terrible, Terrible Baby
Whoa hey Elizabeth Edwards has left her Johnny finally, according to the People magazine. Hmm. Was there… a problem? As usual, this is poor baby Quinn’s fault: “After meeting the love child that rocked her 32-year marriage to one-time presidential candidate John Edwards, Elizabeth Edwards has had enough… Last December, Elizabeth met the 23-month-old Frances [...]
A ROUSING DEFENSE OF THE WIFE OF THAT VULGAR MILL-WORKER: Elizabeth Edwards: Saint or sinner? Lady who carries a purse, or lady who pulls credit cards out of her bra? Doomed fatty, or doomed fatty? “I knew there was no way she was going to lose 40 pounds. You could just tell she loved life [...]
Elizabeth Edwards Selling Furniture Now
Hey look it’s an Edwards story that is *not* about how a self-regarding butthole managed to continually embarrass himself and his family of mill workers with his bathroom-dwelling, mistress-impregnating antics. It’s a nice story about Mrs. Elizabeth Edwards, and her new furniture store in Chapel Hill!
Richard Cohen Simply Does Not Know What To Think About Elizabeth Edwards
The worst writer in the world, Washington Post landed gentry spokeswoman Richard Cohen, has met Elizabeth Edwards and John Edwards too! “I know John and Elizabeth Edwards — not well, just a bit. I’ve been to their house — the old house, the one in Washington. I had breakfast with them. I found her smart, [...]
John Edwards Scandal Just Gets Weirder
Thanks to Wonkette Operative Lauren for sending this strange thing she spotted on the AP news. The Edwards Saga just keeps getting creepier.
SEX CREEPS: “One day, between now and January, this alleged scandal will have to be addressed — and if John Edwards did nothing more than pay a friendly late night Beverly Hills hotel visit to his former videographer who was impregnated by his married loyalist friend, so be it. He can explain himself and go [...]
Magic 8 Ball Knows Everything About Health Care
Here’s the debut ad from the newly formed “Health Care For America Now,” an advocacy group for universal health care with Elizabeth Edwards as its figurehead. Its message is clear: 40-some million Americans lack health insurance not because of its cost or availability. No, the real reason is that whenever Americans try to find decent, [...]
John Edwards’ Blog Becomes CUTE Dog Show
John Edwards Did Not Have Sex With That Hippie
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