Oh this guy. Your editor is feeling anxious and unfunny this morning, but thankfully somebody has filled in the Great Comedy Void: the New York Times’ own Bill Kristol, penning a side-splitting column about how President John McCain will be great for liberals, wokka wokka. MORE »

This is like when somebody says “you can’t underestimate the importance of thing X” when they are trying to suggest that in fact you can’t overestimate the importance of that thing, it is so very important. Only this is worse times a million, because John McCain says in two different ways that his proud Western Pennsylvanian supporters are racist rednecks. (The crowd, to their credit, gives a collective “Whaaa?”) Then he makes up for it by saying, twice, that the region is so very patriotic. FETCH THIS GENTLEMAN A PILLOW AND A GLASS OF WARM MILK. [YouTube]

People who go to Tanning Salons are poor white trash, according to some dingbat website we’ve never encountered before just now. Elitists say the tanning craze was briefly “in” with the wealthy people in like 1958 and again in spring of 1992, but that was all, ever, and throughout history having a “suntan” just meant you spent all your time outside doing hard labor. “There is no easier way to tell that someone is white trash than by whether he or she has a tan,” some self-proclaimed Beauty Expert told this website. What other ways do poor, bitter people broadcast their socio-economic status to their Elitist Betters? The answers might surprise you! MORE »