eliot spitzer

Our first submission in the pending comment queue, that purgatory where first-time comments wait to be approved or flushed, came in reply to the story about how Wendy Davis told filthy lies about being a “single mother” when she was in fact a “separated but living alone whilst not yet having filed for divorce” mother, […]

Media, media, why hast thou forsaken us? It’s like you can’t pick up a trashy New York tabloid with wildly unfunny headlines and believe a thing they say anymore! It appears that the salacious NY Post story about Eliot ‘Client 9 Inches’ Spitzer sucking the toes of his topless girlfriend while on vacation in Jamaica […]

We are not sure what is ickier: Eliot Spitzer and his girlfriend Lis Smith doing sexxytime in a hot tub in Jamaica, or the New York Post’s description of same: Sleazy Eliot Spitzer turned a resort hot tub into a steamy love cauldron over the weekend — kissing and sucking the toes of his topless […]

The New York Post sure does have a hard-on for Eliot Spitzer lately, which is funny because he does not actually hold any elected position, but that is not stopping them from calling for New York Mayor-elect Bill de Blasio to fire some chick for being porked by Spitzer, consensually, and without (presumably) an exchange […]

Steve Lonegan (R). Known mostly for having an aide with very forward-thinking, sex-positive thoughts on ladies what got hot knockers, Lonegan is just some poor sad schmuck. And this is how he treats his wife when she tries to comfort him during his concession speech :( [Malware at Happy; Link blocked for now]

The last time we saw Thomas Lopez-Pierre, he was writing a pretty awesome letter about Jews. He loved boning Jewesses! He once saved some Hasidic kids by going after other black kids with a broken bottle! He remembers that Jews helped out in the ’60s civil rights fights! He just didn’t like it when Jews […]

Sanctimonious screeching creep Keith Olbermann, whose ego isn’t the size of Jupiter but certainly is that of Jupiter’s largest moon, has been fired from his 757th job on television, for being horrible. Current TeeVee owner and other relatively liberal person Al Gore was the one who did the firing, in an explosive memo which arrived […]

Eliot Spitzer is unemployed again, because ratings on his terrible CNN solo talk show “In the Arena” have repeatedly indicated that America is not interested in watching Spitzer sex himself on teevee. What about if Eliot Spitzer pays America to watch? Would she do it then? No, gross, just please go away. We have never […]

The fabulous Liz Glover and your very own “meh” Riley Waggaman sat down with Alex Gibney to discuss his new documentary, Client 9, which chronicles the rise and fall of Eliot Spitzer. Were you aware that Eliot Spitzer was once a powerful politician who used to regularly kick the shit out of evil investment banks? […]

CNN this year has posed a bold question: Is America ready for a TV news/chat/whatever show co-hosted by an ex-governor disgraced for patronizing prostitutes and a Pulitzer-prize winning columnist who hates both half-breeds and snowbillies? America has taken its time getting back to us on this, but we finally heard from them, and they said […]

Inexplicably, the international 24/7 English-language Russia Today TV channel has taken a liking to your Wonkette. One reason may be that we are not afraid to girlishly post sexxxy pics of Putin atop his noble steed or on a topless fishing excursion. Another reason may be that Rasputin is Wonkette’s “spirit animal.” Anyway, in this […]

This thing is debuting October 4 and will be called Parker Spitzer, which is what all good trailer-park Americans are naming their children these days, because they saw some celebrity name their child that. Will we get to witness these amazing Spitzer sports comedy stylings we see a glimpse of at the :45 mark EVERY […]

Do you worry every time you leave your house about encountering Eliot Spitzer, who will attempt to pay you for sex, or Kathleen Parker, who will attempt to determine if you are a “full-blooded American,” and then bludgeon you with her Pulitzer Prize if you aren’t? Well, now at least the period from 8 to […]

TODAY IN WEBZINES  10:36 am June 7, 2010

by Ken Layne

GO BACK TO YOUR WHORES: Oh look, Eliot Spitzer is apparently still writing his awful column for Slate: “After reading the Gettysburg Address, does the idea of a carbon tax to finally move us away from an oil and old-energy dependence that is fouling not only the Gulf of Mexico but our entire climate, foreign […]

Yes, yes, racial profiling is not necessarily “good,” but what if a police officer notices a scary brown (probably half-muslin) person walking around? What then? Should the brown person just be allowed to walk around? [Think Progress] Matt Yglesias was coughing up globs of disappointment after he saw Robin Hood, but hooray, then he read […]