Wonkette

Disgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters]

Former hooker to Eliot Spitzer and “The Girl That Defined Four Or Five Days In March,” Ashley Alexandra Dupre, is finally going for the big catch. A million-dollar Hustler shoot? P’shaw, a pauper’s fee! No, Dupre is suing Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis for $10 million, “claiming she never gave… permission to use her name and likeness to advertise the videos.” Because she was only 17 at the time, and, y’know, could barely make her mark on the contract! So that’s what young “Kristen” is up to these days: showing America that tort reform is necessary. [AP/Newsday]

Hey everybody, remember Jessica Cutler? No? Well, a long time ago there was this Senate staffer aide and she had sex — including sex in the butt! — with men who gave her money or other valuables in exchange for the sex. This was different from all other human relationships because she, Jessica Cutler, made a blog about this, five years ago, when blogs were kind of a new thing. So how is she obviously involved with the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal? MORE »

SPITZER PATRONIZED BLONDE HOMETOWN HOOKER: Sources say former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was a client of Wicked Models, whose yellow-haired founder, Kristin Davis, was just arrested. Like the other Kristen, this gal is also covered in tattoos, but she seems to have a better head for business. Prosecutors said she made $2 million last year. [NYP]

Besides the wives and children, who are the true victims of high-placed leaders’ tawdry sex affairs? Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, of course! Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and indicted Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick are (or were) both Democratic superdelegates. Spitzer was in the tank for Clinton, while Kilpatrick reportedly favors Obama, even though the Obama campaign halfheartedly denies it. So what happens when reckless oversexed Democrats let their personal addictions interfere with their public lives? They make the increasingly weird superdelegate count even less predictable. Of course, none of this matters if Clinton and Obama superdelegates keep cancelling each other out by getting caught in embarrassing situations in equal numbers. [Political Punch, NPR]

Or is it? NOTICE: You must watch to the very end. The very end. And this is all you get because Ashley’s Girls Gone Wild embarrassment will be forever sealed (until it’s leaked on the Internet this weekend) because it turns out she was only 17, the end. [Thanks Pareene!]

Everyone knows that fun things are bad for you, and if you do enough fun things repeatedly then you are an “addict.” A man who has fun sex with hookers, for example, is a shamefully diseased sex addict on the verge of sexing himself to death. But generous Fate intervened on behalf of addict Eliot Spitzer, who has reportedly entered therapy to cure himself of this strange compulsion to have enjoyable no-strings-attached sex with young women. How long before the cure “takes”? MORE »

There are two iconic Washington hotels, swank palaces so famous that their very names have come to define the two main activities of our political elite: corruption and whoring. The first, of course, is the Watergate. The second is the Mayflower, which was named for the famous pimpette Sydney Biddle Barrows, the “Mayflower Madam.” It’s a little pricey even by D.C. lodging standards, so if you’re a regular there, you’re probably a regular user of $4,300 hookers — according to the liberal New York Times. MORE »

Tired of Ashley Kristen Alexandra Dupre yet? Us too! But not US Magazine! The celebrity weekly has about a thousand pictures of Eliot Spitzer’s allegedly high-class hooker, and they’re all about as bad as this one, and we think the official title of this set is “The Official Seal of the Great State of New Jersey.” Remember that picture of a pretty young Ashley/Kristen in a bikini on a yacht? That was apparently taken in 1978. [US Magazine]