Tag: electoral college

LOL Kellyanne Conway, Numbers Is Hard!

Time for your morning update on Kellyanne Conway LOL U Suck.

Obama and Merkel: Super Friends! Yr Wonkagenda: Thursday, November 17, 2016

Obama and Merkel are super best friends, foreign leaders can't call Trump, and Nikki Haley has a job interview! Your Morning News Brief!
Sit and spin, OK?

Harry Reid Has About Had It With This ‘President-Elect Donald Trump’ Fellow

Harry Reid may be leaving his seat, but he won't stand for this crap.

Dear Media: HI! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Thanks a lot, media, for literally helping turn the world's greatest democracy over to a fucking tyrant.
lalala I can't hear you

Donald Trump Doesn’t Have To Concede. All He Has To Do Is Lose.

Donald Trump, according to everybody, challenged either a pillar or a cornerstone of American Democracy at Thursday's debate when he said he'd have to think over whether he'd agree that he lost if he loses. One way or the...
This election is going better than 2008, we think.

LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Mississippi, Yes We Said MISSISSIPPI

Mississippi could become a 'battleground state' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
He gets cranky when he has the sniffles

Good News, Donald Trump Might Not Even Serve As President If He’s Elected!

In this constitutional scenario, the new president would be either Ivanka Trump or dead Ronald Reagan's corpse farts.
BYE YOU DUGGAR-LOVIN' MOTHERFUCKER

Looks Like Mike Huckabee And The Duggars Are Still Totally Gay For Each Other

Is Mike Huckabee sharing his award-winning Hucka-diddles with the Duggar family again? (He never stopped.) Are Jim Bob, Michelle and the child-fruits of their incessant barebacking, including their handsy firstborn, no longer completely toxic to a presidential run? Or...

BREAKING: Florida Republicans Don’t Want To Steal The White House

In a major victory for democracy, Republican leaders in Florida have declared that they are against stealing a presidential election. Yes. Really. In the wake of a new legislative push by some Republicans in Virginia — who want to...

WND Had A Most Cunning Plan To Stop Obama With Constitution, Except For One Tiny Detail: The Constitution

Judson Phillips, founder of Tea Party Nation and a guy who just loves the Constitution of the United States so much that he wakes up every morning with patriojizz all over his 2nd-amendment footie pajamas, published a brilliant plan...

GOP Superhero Donald Trump Calls For Revolution, Changes Mind

You saw it happen, folks. You sat on your big butt and you watched Barack Obama, who was not born in America, steal the election — again — so that he can ruin the country and impose sharia law. He...

Barack Obama Is The President Of Anachronisms

John McCain will not support Palin for President in 2012, and not just because he will be dead or running himself -- though, maybe! Today the nation's most famous safety school, the Electoral College, will formally elect Barry, your...

Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!

Nobody quite knew what to make of Karl Rove's very aggressive election night projections, but it seemed safe to conclude that he was trying to mess with Barack Obama in a very sinister and subtle way. People feared that...

John McCain Is President Of Namibia!

Looky The Economist has a nifty Interactive Feature that shows, conclusively, the only place in the world where people like John McCain is in sub-Saharan Africa! (Namibia is known, colloquially, as "the West Virginia of Africa.") Iraq or Cuba...

That FiveThirtyEight Guy On ‘The Colbert Report’

Hey look who was on The Colbert Report last night -- everybody's new secret boyfriend, the esteemed baseball stats dork Nate Silver! He calls John McCain the Seattle Pilots, which is apparently funny? The point is, if this guy...

Which State Will Host This Election’s Worst Voting Debacle?

Every four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And...