Tag Archives: electoral college

  sore losermen ... oh wait

BREAKING: Florida Republicans Don’t Want To Steal The White House

In a major victory for democracy, Republican leaders in Florida have declared that they are against stealing a presidential election. Yes. Really. In the wake of a new legislative push by some Republicans in Virginia — who want to make it so Democrats can only get 4 of the state’s 11 Electoral Votes, after Barack Obama carried Virginia twice as the first Democrat to win the state in almost 50 years — more attention is being cast on proposals to decide the Electoral College by each House district. (And of course, those districts were widely drawn by Republicans after their state victories in 2010.) But in Florida, the state House Speaker Will Weatherford (R) is saying no. “To me, that’s like saying in a football game, ‘We should have only three quarters, because we were winning after three quarters and they beat us in the fourth,” Weatherford told the Miami Herald on Thursday. “I don’t think we need to change the rules of the game, I think we need to get better.” We will pause here to let you wipe your brains off your monitor. Read more on BREAKING: Florida Republicans Don’t Want To Steal The White House…
  E Plebnista

WND Had A Most Cunning Plan To Stop Obama With Constitution, Except For One Tiny Detail: The Constitution

Judson Phillips, founder of Tea Party Nation and a guy who just loves the Constitution of the United States so much that he wakes up every morning with patriojizz all over his 2nd-amendment footie pajamas, published a brilliant plan the other day that had the potential to actually save America from the tragedy of national suicide represented by the reelection of gay black crack addict Barack Hussein Obama. And the best part about it? The plan invoked a Top Secret Loophole in the Constitution itself to save the Constitution! How neat is that? And it would have worked, too, if it weren’t for that darn Constitution. Still, you have to admit he is one earnest little teabagger: We have one last, final chance to save America. We have one last, final chance to stop Barack Obama. One final chance. So if you believe in the Constitution Fairy, clap your hands!!! Read more on WND Had A Most Cunning Plan To Stop Obama With Constitution, Except For One Tiny Detail: The Constitution…
  brave sir donald ran away

GOP Superhero Donald Trump Calls For Revolution, Changes Mind

You saw it happen, folks. You sat on your big butt and you watched Barack Obama, who was not born in America, steal the election — again — so that he can ruin the country and impose sharia law. He had four years to impose his evil Muslim ways, and he didn’t, but that’s not evidence of ANYTHING, and we are still in grave danger. Thank goodness a brave, brave patriot like Donald Trump is around to point us in the right direction, by bravely tweeting that we should have a “revolution!” and then bravely deleting those tweets. Read more on GOP Superhero Donald Trump Calls For Revolution, Changes Mind…
  rumors on the internets

Barack Obama Is The President Of Anachronisms

John McCain will not support Palin for President in 2012, and not just because he will be dead or running himself — though, maybe! [CNN Political Ticker] Today the nation’s most famous safety school, the Electoral College, will formally elect Barry, your President-Elect. [The Caucus] Read more on Barack Obama Is The President Of Anachronisms…
  polling shocker

Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!

Nobody quite knew what to make of Karl Rove’s very aggressive election night projections, but it seemed safe to conclude that he was trying to mess with Barack Obama in a very sinister and subtle way. People feared that Rove’s projection of 338 electoral votes set the bar too high, so that if Obama won narrowly he would look “illegitimate.” And if Obama lost, he would really look like a loser. Read more on Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!…
  world government

John McCain Is President Of Namibia!

Looky The Economist has a nifty Interactive Feature that shows, conclusively, the only place in the world where people like John McCain is in sub-Saharan Africa! (Namibia is known, colloquially, as “the West Virginia of Africa.”) Iraq or Cuba would also take him, but we doubt he’d accept the offer. Read more on John McCain Is President Of Namibia!…
  numbers and statistics

That FiveThirtyEight Guy On ‘The Colbert Report’

Hey look who was on The Colbert Report last night — everybody’s new secret boyfriend, the esteemed baseball stats dork Nate Silver! He calls John McCain the Seattle Pilots, which is apparently funny? The point is, if this guy does not have a book deal and a standing job offer from Barack Obama by November 5, we will eat our hats. [Colbertnation] Read more on That FiveThirtyEight Guy On ‘The Colbert Report’…
  electoral high school

Which State Will Host This Election’s Worst Voting Debacle?

Every four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And every four years, Hendrik Hertzberg writes angry editorials about how the whole electoral college should be bombed from space as a Republican takes office yet again. So which state will we be able to blame when Sarah Palin is hastily sworn in as America’s 45th president after John McCain expires from gout and agues in the spring of 2009? Read more on Which State Will Host This Election’s Worst Voting Debacle?…
  rules of succession

Electoral Apocalypse Doomsday Scenario: Obama And McCain Tie, World Explodes, Nancy Pelosi Is President

Remember how much fun the primaries were, with the math and numbers and the whole “If Hillary gets enough superdelegates then two plus two will equal five, within the confines of Michigan and Florida before May 31 divided by two”? Dust off your abacus because now your favorite News Analysts will be giving themselves mental hernias as they strain to figure out in which way our electoral college and its nutty rules could again leave infuriated Americans ready to hop on the first spaceship to France. Read more on Electoral Apocalypse Doomsday Scenario: Obama And McCain Tie, World Explodes, Nancy Pelosi Is President…
 

Hillary’s Magical Maps!

Top Clinton advisor Harold Ickes arrived on Capitol Hill yesterday armed with magical maps showing how his candidate would win the nomination if Democrats were Republicans, Florida and Michigan’s excluded votes were included, and black caucus-goers were cast into the sea. These maps created a spacious gulag in the Middle West for educated voters under 40, and demonstrated how Barack Obama could never win tough Republican strongholds like California and New York. Read more on Hillary’s Magical Maps!…
 

Rumors on the Internets: Fun is a Four Letter Word

* The UN makes your desk job even more soul-crushing. [Boing Boing] * Catholic school girls are still unsafely screwed. [Captain’s Quarters] * Photojournalism is the new hate-spewing blog entry. [Michelle Malkin] * Abolish the electoral college — because bitching about it for 200 years has got to end somewhere. [Wizbang] * Some people are profiting on the war in Iraq. Can we call that the bright side? [Political Cortex] Read more on Rumors on the Internets: Fun is a Four Letter Word…