elections
Supreme Court Makes It Easier to Vote, Much to the Dismay of Conservatives Everywhere
Unless you have been living under a rock over the last few years, you know that the GOP has a not-so-new idea to try to win elections: prevent those who would vote against them from being able to vote, in the name of stopping voter fraud, which doesn’t really exist in any meaningful way, but [...]
Megyn Kelly Simply Does Not Care For Those Black Helicopters Coming To Spy On Our Elections
Oh, Megyn Kelly! Don’t ever change, OK? Here is Megyn Kelly on Fox “News,” informing us that there may be an “extra set of eyes” on election day and those eyes may belong to the United Nations. Note the contempt with which she says “United Nations,” by the way, she might as well have been [...]
Fox News ‘Doctor’ Just Asking If Joe Biden Has Dementia, That’s All
This is a video of a Fox “News” “Medical” correspondent visiting Fox and Friends to argue that Joe Biden is either a drunk, obnoxious asshole OR a senile, drunk old man with dementia. Apparently these are the only explanations for interrupting someone that isn’t Jim Lehrer—being an obnoxious asshole, or having dementia.
Hero Elections Officials in Ohio Save Voting Process From Black People
It is kind of an open secret these days that the GOP is marching ever closer towards becoming a far-right nationalist movement that self-legitimates using Biblical discourse combined with claims to a monopoly on expressions of American authenticity. So we shouldn’t really be too surprised every time a prominent Republican says something overtly racist, in [...]
Failed President Sought Companionship Of President
After Obama’s quashing of lapsed aisle-straddler John McCain in 2008, people apparently thought this loser and winner could come together and do great things, as if the election were a tie or something, as if this were post-Blair England and the leadership options were so bad that the options had to band together in a [...]
Diebold Machines Lose Tens of Thousands of Votes in South Bronx, So What Who Cares
This just in: a catastrophic miscarriage of justice took place in the South Bronx when tens of thousands of votes went uncounted in the 2010 Senate and Governor’s election, but luckily South Bronx is full of Poors and also everyone knew who was going to win anyway. This came to light when the radio station [...]
Ousted Senator Lugar Says Something True, WaPo Needs Its Fainting Couch
Richard Lugar, he of the many-termèd Indiana senate run, lost to fop Richard Mourdock in the state’s Republican primary Tuesday night, because Lugar is AULDE and believes in a passé political system similar to the one that John McCain believed in before he became a born-again baby. In his concession speech, Lugar very clearly outlined [...]
Vladdy Putin Pledges To Take Young Voters’ Virginity
Vladimir Putin is all set to steal the Russian presidential election this week, so who knows why he’s even bothering to make campaign ads, but here’s one in which a young Russian girl (a tween?) is told that Vladimir Putin is the right man to take her virginity. Her political virginity? Eh, either one probably [...]
Newt’s Nutty Super PAC Billionaire Casually Tosses In Another $10M
Looks like there’s some big action today at the few-billionaires-only private dog track more commonly known as the American political system: Nutty Vegas casino warhawk crook Sheldon Adelson — not to be confused with the Santorum-backing “Why are we talking about these slutty sluts when there are Muslim terrorists in Latin America?” eccentric wingnut billionaire [...]
Let’s Point And Laugh At Mitt Romney’s Horrible Failure
Whoa hey, look at those numbers in Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado for Mittens. Two out of three isn’t so bad. And the sheer numbers of votes — tens and hundreds of thousands! What a world. The only problem is that those are his numbers from the 2008 primary cycle, when he still ended up losing [...]
Rick Santorum To Ruin Everyone’s Fun In Tonight’s Elections
Rick Santorum is going to ruin America tonight! No but listen: The nominating contests in Colorado, Missouri, and Minnesota tonight are non-binding, inconsequential in general because Mitt Romney will still win the nomination, and… dumb… we don’t know… but will possibly have the effect of crowning Rick Santorum as the main alternative to Mittens, which [...]
Personhood USA To Host Next Personhood Defeat In Florida
Sad news for American blastocysts, guys. Accidental zygotes are still not as sacred as you and I, now that the normals in Mississippi — whose existence was considered apocryphal until Tuesday’s election — have decided they’ve had just about enough of the pushy nuts behind up-and-coming fetus cargo cult Personhood USA. Final tally: a 59%-41% [...]
#OWS Protester Scares Off Product-Plugging MSNBC Blowhard
Here’s a talking head from the MSNBC cable entertainment channel trying to get some video interview content for his political show. The guy getting yelled at is apparently “Dylan Ratigan,” and his colleague is wearing a shirt from another MSNBC talk show, we guess? And this protester is going along with the interview until the [...]
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