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Tag: elections

Deleted Comments: Didn’t You Know Trump Won, So All Politics Is Now Over?

Some of you people just don't understand how democracy works: there's an election, someone wins, THE END.

Obama Saves Alaska! Wonkagenda For Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Obama saves Alaska, Trump's spawn tried steal some cash, and Chris Christie just got screwed! Your Daily News Brief

Tennessee Congressional Wannabe Will ‘Make America White Again’ Like On Nick At Nite

On the bright side, Rick Tyler is never getting his way, and will have to be miserable for the rest of his life because of it.
Is that a Glock in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Austria Considering Far Right President, Because You Know Who Else Hated Immigrants?

In case you were feeling down on America for flirting with one Mr. Donald J. Trump, fear not! There are other countries to feel bad about (while continuing to feel bad about America, because WTF, America? Donald Trump? REALLY!?)! Say...

Scott Walker Finally Able To Ensure All Elections In Wisconsin Will Be Rigged

Do you remember Scott Walker? He was one of the eleventy billion people running for the GOP nomination, and we were actually worried about him winning because he managed to seem slightly less bloodthirsty and craven than the rest of...
His legacy shredded.

New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal’s Seat With So Much Gayness

Elections matter, y'all. With term-limited Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal leaving office to spend more time begging the Duck Dynasty guys to let him be one of their white friends, voters had a choice: Do we pick that nice gay-hatin'...

Pissed Off God Levels Toledo For Failing To Elect Prophetess Opal Covey Mayor

Hey, Toledo, whatcha doin? Not smoking legal pot? WE HEARD. And we also heard you had "reasons" for not legalizing it. Whatever, you do you, with your "principles." But we aren't even having this conversation right now, Toledo, because...
Your new homosexual overlords.

Houston Votes On Whether Gays Should Be Allowed To Live, Breathe

It's a big day in Houston! It's time to go to the polls (if you're a good person who loves ALL people) and vote YES on Proposition 1, which would enshrine the city's LGBT-inclusive nondiscrimination ordinance into law. It's...

Looks Like Mike Huckabee And The Duggars Are Still Totally Gay For Each Other

Is Mike Huckabee sharing his award-winning Hucka-diddles with the Duggar family again? (He never stopped.) Are Jim Bob, Michelle and the child-fruits of their incessant barebacking, including their handsy firstborn, no longer completely toxic to a presidential run? Or...
You know, if you're not doing anything else that night LOL

Donald Trump And Nine Other Losers Walk Into A Bar: Your Wonkette Debate Preview!

It's almost here, everyone, it's almost here! The moment we have all been waiting for (kind of!) comes Thursday night, when the top ten Republican candidates, as chosen by Fox News Science, will show us their junk on live...
If you'd planned better, you wouldn't have gotten old.

Congratulations, Texas! No Way Will This 101-Year-Old Lady Do Vote Fraud Now!

San Antonio, Texas, just elected its first African-American mayor, Interim Mayor Ivy Taylor. That's really exciting news, and while we don't know how 101-year old Mary Lou Miller planned to vote, she sure wishes her vote could have counted....
We're sure he'll find a way to Shake This Off too.

County Wants Aaron Schock To Pay For Special Election To Put New Buttcheeks In His Old Seat

Aaron Schock, the hot male personal photographer-having FORMER congressman from Illinois, still has a war chest with $3.3 million in it, due to he was apparently very good at fundraising, and also because he apparently had some very creative...
They just want to buy the White House is all

Koch Brothers Pledge $889 Million To Least Losery 2016 Candidate, If Any

If President Obama's lame-duck "don't give a fuck" attitude has been improving your outlook on life lately, then fresh from Freedom Partners' annual winter summit comes some news that will send you crashing right back down to Frown Town....
Anti-Fox comments reposted on my Tumbrel account

Don’t Like Getting Boned By State Taxes? Just Be Filthy Rich!

Here's something every class warrior on the barricades should know: There isn't a single state in the entire United States where a poor or middle income person can be assured of paying a lower percent of their income in...
Other than *that* it's a pretty compelling argument

Facebook Gun Hero Explains Assassinatin’ Beats Voting Every Time

From the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Facebook page comes the above screenshot of a cheerful Election Day message from a pro-gun, pro-insurrection Facebook thing. The Facebook group is still up, though they've removed the image and the accompanying...

Who The Hell Is Shelley Moore Capito? A Senator? WTF?

So this Republican, Shelley Moore Capito, is now gonna be the new Senator from West Virginia. And get this: the seat used to be held by a Democrat! What the what? Who is this Senator-elect, and how in the...