Tag: elections

Deleted Comments: Kellyanne Conway Is Hot

Are Trump supporters becoming less articulate? Probably just a sampling quirk this week.

Deleted Comments: Demons Are Real. Elizabeth Warren Is Fake.

Demons are real, Elizabeth Warren is fake, and selfishness is empathy. Quite a load this week.

Deleted Comments: Enjoy A Trump Fan’s Wet Dream About Ending Voter Fraud With Summary Executions

You wouldn't believe how easy eliminating voter fraud would be. All you need is to start with a police state...

Deleted Comments: So John Lewis Got Hit On The Head That One Time. Big Deal!

For some reason, we heard from a lot of people who aren't racists this week.

Deleted Comments: Didn’t You Know Trump Won, So All Politics Is Now Over?

Some of you people just don't understand how democracy works: there's an election, someone wins, THE END.

Obama Saves Alaska! Wonkagenda For Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Obama saves Alaska, Trump's spawn tried steal some cash, and Chris Christie just got screwed! Your Daily News Brief

Tennessee Congressional Wannabe Will ‘Make America White Again’ Like On Nick At Nite

On the bright side, Rick Tyler is never getting his way, and will have to be miserable for the rest of his life because of it.
Is that a Glock in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Austria Considering Far Right President, Because You Know Who Else Hated Immigrants?

In case you were feeling down on America for flirting with one Mr. Donald J. Trump, fear not! There are other countries to feel bad about (while continuing to feel bad about America, because WTF, America? Donald Trump? REALLY!?)! Say...

Scott Walker Finally Able To Ensure All Elections In Wisconsin Will Be Rigged

Do you remember Scott Walker? He was one of the eleventy billion people running for the GOP nomination, and we were actually worried about him winning because he managed to seem slightly less bloodthirsty and craven than the rest of...
His legacy shredded.

New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal’s Seat With So Much Gayness

Elections matter, y'all. With term-limited Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal leaving office to spend more time begging the Duck Dynasty guys to let him be one of their white friends, voters had a choice: Do we pick that nice gay-hatin'...

Pissed Off God Levels Toledo For Failing To Elect Prophetess Opal Covey Mayor

Hey, Toledo, whatcha doin? Not smoking legal pot? WE HEARD. And we also heard you had "reasons" for not legalizing it. Whatever, you do you, with your "principles." But we aren't even having this conversation right now, Toledo, because...
Your new homosexual overlords.

Houston Votes On Whether Gays Should Be Allowed To Live, Breathe

It's a big day in Houston! It's time to go to the polls (if you're a good person who loves ALL people) and vote YES on Proposition 1, which would enshrine the city's LGBT-inclusive nondiscrimination ordinance into law. It's...
BYE YOU DUGGAR-LOVIN' MOTHERFUCKER

Looks Like Mike Huckabee And The Duggars Are Still Totally Gay For Each Other

Is Mike Huckabee sharing his award-winning Hucka-diddles with the Duggar family again? (He never stopped.) Are Jim Bob, Michelle and the child-fruits of their incessant barebacking, including their handsy firstborn, no longer completely toxic to a presidential run? Or...
You know, if you're not doing anything else that night LOL

Donald Trump And Nine Other Losers Walk Into A Bar: Your Wonkette Debate Preview!

It's almost here, everyone, it's almost here! The moment we have all been waiting for (kind of!) comes Thursday night, when the top ten Republican candidates, as chosen by Fox News Science, will show us their junk on live...
If you'd planned better, you wouldn't have gotten old.

Congratulations, Texas! No Way Will This 101-Year-Old Lady Do Vote Fraud Now!

San Antonio, Texas, just elected its first African-American mayor, Interim Mayor Ivy Taylor. That's really exciting news, and while we don't know how 101-year old Mary Lou Miller planned to vote, she sure wishes her vote could have counted....
We're sure he'll find a way to Shake This Off too.

County Wants Aaron Schock To Pay For Special Election To Put New Buttcheeks In His Old Seat

Aaron Schock, the hot male personal photographer-having FORMER congressman from Illinois, still has a war chest with $3.3 million in it, due to he was apparently very good at fundraising, and also because he apparently had some very creative...