Tag Archives: election

  party of personal responsibility

Tea Party Learns Its Painful Electoral Lesson: That Mitt Romney Was Too Moderate

It is so much fun to watch the Party of Personal Responsibility point fingers and self-implode, isn’t it? It certainly is! Today’s finger-pointing blame-game session comes courtesy the Tea Party, which has engaged in about a week of sober reflection and concluded that the GOP lost because Mitt was too moderate. No, really: Tea party supporters are angry at the GOP for embracing as its presidential nominee a “moderate” like Romney. For undermining “true conservative” candidates. And for “choosing to ignore” the conservative agenda. Read more on Tea Party Learns Its Painful Electoral Lesson: That Mitt Romney Was Too Moderate…
  frothing at the mouth

Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You

Oh finally, Rick Santorum has written a column on the Hill, weighing in on the election and What It Means! And What It Means is that the GOP will FINALLY, after all this time, cooperate with President Obama on cutting Social Security and privatizing Medicare. So the fact that Americans went to the polls and elected a lesbian, a bisexual atheist, a female Asian Buddhist, and a socialist, in addition to decriminalizing weed, legalizing gay marriage, and voting for tax increases means nothing. Well that’s not true; it means that they want Marco Rubio to charlar con ustedes about why you should retire at age 70 and buy health insurance on the open market. Read more on Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You…
  look at the clouds

Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts

Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed to be unscripted on a far more regular basis, and actually, your Wonkette agrees with this but for different reasons. Also Romney should have hammered Obama more on Benghazi, and made that issue center stage, which is what the American people care about. Forget jobs, let’s focus on Benghazi. Oh and of course, let’s talk about how Chris Christie betrayed the GOP and how liberals were “delirious with joy” over the storm. But what you’re REALLY wondering, Wonketteers, is what O’Reilly thinks the GOP should do about the “demographics problem.” (Well, the so-called liberal media calls it a demographics problem; your Wonkette characterizes it as a “racism problem.”) Read more on Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts…
  Fox Nooz

Oh How Cute, Fox is Suddenly Worried About “Media Bias” and its Impact on Democracy

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Apparently there are “new questions” about the role of the media 2012 race! What kind of questions? Well, the kind Fox Nooz asks, like: why does the media insist on pointing out all the lies that come out of Mitt Romney’s mouth? And: why do they have to call constant attention to the fact that Gingrich is a womanizing scumbag? Yes, those kinds of questions. Read more on Oh How Cute, Fox is Suddenly Worried About “Media Bias” and its Impact on Democracy…
  tackle box

Do Not Mess With This D.C. Lady’s Signs, She Will Wreck You

Just so you know, D.C. Advisory Neighborhood Commission candidate Grace Daughtridge is NOT MESSING AROUND. Not only has she “reestablished” the 11th-largest tree in the District, but she was at a polling place today, and saw a dude futzing with one of her campaign signs, and, if the allegedlies have it right, she took that dude out. NBC Washington brings us the nitty-gritty: Grace Daughtridge allegedly tackled a man in his 40s outside the King Greenleaf Recreation Center in Southwest around 11:15 a.m., claiming he was tampering with some of her campaign signs. Wham-bam! It’s just like how she says she’s been “preventing thieves from stealing rims and tires”! She takes this stuff serious-like. But this sign stuff… maybe… too serious-like? Read more on Do Not Mess With This D.C. Lady’s Signs, She Will Wreck You…
  everyone in prison is innocent too

Totally Innocent, Not At All Terrible Republican Poll-Watchers Getting Booted In Philly

Chaos in Philadelphia! CHAOS! They are ejecting GOP poll-watchers left and right, for no reason! Twitchy tells us all about it, in a style quite fitting to the website’s name. “Are the dirty tricks starting already?” they wonder, before the breathless, context-free revelation of “GOP poll inspector physically assaulted,” which definitely happened the way it sounds, we need no evidence. What the heck, you guys (pardon the language)? They didn’t even do anything wrong! Oh … they probably did? Read more on Totally Innocent, Not At All Terrible Republican Poll-Watchers Getting Booted In Philly…
  freelance law enforcement

Pennsylvania Reports Voter Intimidation From … REPUBLICANS?!?

So you know that huge terrifying black man we told you about, who is harassing old white ladies by opening the door for them? That’s called “voter intimidation,” and it’s practiced by minorities and the United Nations and tricky Democrats, because they don’t want to play by the rules, they can’t help it, they’re just awful people. Far more awful, for example, than the upstanding Republicans of Allegheny County, Pa., who are so patriotic they showed up to polling places this morning to enforce laws that don’t even exist! Read more on Pennsylvania Reports Voter Intimidation From … REPUBLICANS?!?…
  rush limbaugh expects an apology

Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool

Oh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool” for daring to look after his state instead of Mitt Romney’s presidential ambitions. Doesn’t Chris Christie know that it’s Mitt’s Time?? Read more on Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool…
  mittens' world

Mitt Romney Iz In Ur Hurricane, Privatizin Ur FEMA

Hello to all of you in the Eastern third of this great country, currently hoarding boxes of wine and tarp and more boxes of wine in order to hopefully get through Frankenstorm without killing your loved ones in a fit of cabin fever. How is that going for you, gathering all those supplies and whatnot? Would it go EVEN BETTER if you knew that there was no FEMA? Or, what if you knew that FEMA had been turned into a profit-making machine for Job Creators? Would that make you work EVEN HARDER to prepare for the oncoming storm? Absolutely it would, says Mitt Romney, and also, do you think that FEMA will help you pick of the pieces of your ruined lives if the worst should occur? LOSERS. This is nothing short of immoral. Read more on Mitt Romney Iz In Ur Hurricane, Privatizin Ur FEMA…
  no-shows

‘Joe’ the ‘Plumber’ Has No Time For ‘Debates’

Remember Joe the Plumber, that guy who isn’t really named Joe and isn’t really a plumber but nonetheless became famous for no particular reason during the 2008 election and then somehow managed to get a reporting gig for Pajamas Media and subsequently “wrote” a “book” that now sells for about $00.01 on Amazon? Yes, THAT “Joe” the “Plumber.” It pains us to inform you that he is also “running” for Congress with the same zeal he usually reserves for”plumbing” and book-“writing.” Read more on ‘Joe’ the ‘Plumber’ Has No Time For ‘Debates’…
  ron paul revolution or something

Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector

Good news, everyone! Romney/Ryan have no specific plans to ruin the housing sector at this point, which is probably a good thing, given that Mitt Romney has been pretty clear about his interest in ruining education and Paul Ryan has a very specific plan to ruin Medicare and Medicaid. So let’s just all respectfully disagree with Business Insider, which thinks it’s a Bad Thing that the campaign’s white paper on housing policy is basically just a collection of vague platitudes about “too big to fail” and “common sense reform” and blah blah etc, with one little part about how much EASIER it will be for banks to foreclose on you. Read more on Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector…
  lord and master of all he surveys

Gentleman Mitt Romney To Uppity Teacher: ‘I Didn’t Ask You a Question’

Here is a video from a nice lady who attended a Romney roundtable all interested and optimistic about the whole thing until Romney asked, “Which one of you is the teacher?” and being a teacher, this nice lady raised her hand. Then Romney began lecturing her about teachers unions and how we need to privatize everything and have charter schools, and how we suck as a country compared to Other Countries. Kind of tired of being lectured, this nice lady said “Oh I have an answer for that.” Romney, being the gentleman he is, responded “I didn’t ask you a question.” Read more on Gentleman Mitt Romney To Uppity Teacher: ‘I Didn’t Ask You a Question’…
  shining bigots on a hill

Not At All Racist or Sexist National Review Staff Tells You Why Not to Vote For The President

We need to get that uppity negro out of the White House because he only signs the back of checks instead of the front of them, but we are not racist! (says the National Review Online Staff). And also! The people who point out that we’re racist — THOSE are the real racists, OF COURSE. This is all laid out for us in a horrible/hysterical 689-item list of reasons to not vote for Obama.  So if you’re racist or sexist or hate Poors or really have a problem with education, then there is something in this list for you! Herewith, some of the highlights – and lowlights — of National Review’s 689 reasons to not re-elect Barack Obama. Read more on Not At All Racist or Sexist National Review Staff Tells You Why Not to Vote For The President…
  banksters

Romney’s London Money Party Imperiled By Impending Enron-Style Disaster

What is LIBOR, you might be wondering? And who has messed with it? And how exactly will a banking scandal in London have something to do Mitt Romney? Well, what wouldn’t it have to do with Mitt Romney? First things first: LIBOR stands for the London Interbank Offered Rate, and according to the BBC, it is one of the “most crucial rates in finance” because it underpins trillions of dollars in loans and financial contacts, including (OF COURSE!) American mortgages and student loans. And because a bunch of derivatives traders at Barclay have been playing around with this rate and trying to rig it since 2005, your mortgage payments or student loan payments might have been affected this entire time. (Evidence for this rate rigging includes the message “”duuuude… what’s up with ur guys 34.5 3m fix… tell him to get it up!” sent via one trader to another via unknown means. Yes, apparently they talk like this in the U.K. too.) Anyway, this scandal MIGHT (but probably won’t, knowing how these things usually go) lead to the resignation of Barclay’s CEO Bob Diamond, but in the meantime, it has led him to pull out of a Romney fundraiser.  Because surprise surprise, the corrupt CEO of a disgraced financial institution was such a big Romney fan that he was going to host a London fundraiser for the candidate. But it’s cool, Romney understands. Also, lots of other Barclays bankers have donated craploads of money to his campaign and even served as his policy advisers, so it’ll all work out. Read more on Romney’s London Money Party Imperiled By Impending Enron-Style Disaster…
  "begone insubstantial coward"

Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement

Well, tragedy has struck in Ron Paul’s kingdom. Rand Paul endorsed Mitt Romney Thursday night on Sean Hannity’s show, presumably because he has been promised some high-profile position in Mitt’s Barbie and Ken’s Dream House™ cabinet. While those pioneering philosophers over at the Washington Post seriously ponder “what” Rand Paul’s endorsement “means” (absolute f#*&-all), other, better people have begun to tentatively trawl The Daily Paul for some commenter takes on what it means for Ron Paul’s supporters. The Atlantic Wire’s exceedingly polite collection: “Rand Paul is dead to me,” “All he had to do was not open his mouth,” and “We will never vote for Mitt Romney or your flimsy son.” We can and will do better than this. Read more on Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement…
  those who can't...

How Sweet: Politico Helps Students Prepare For The AP US Government & Politics Exam

Politico has decided to encourage bad habits, like following laughable presidential campaigns and cramming, by trying to teach 10 lessons on AP Government & Politics by May 15, which is the day that Young America takes these “advanced” multiple choice and essay tests on the only nation in the world. It is only up to Lesson 4, which is called “Gaffe-ing Out Loud.” It proposes that if you read an article by one M. Haberman on how surrogates have figured in the 2012 election, which is one of the most historic of ever, you might score well because they are definitely going to ask a question or two about Mitt Romney’s fired gay spokesperson Richard Grenell (no they will not). To emphasize important things, the lessons include keywords that are both italicized and bolded (paging The Conservative Teen, RIP!) And at the end of each “lesson” is a “test”! One of the questions in the “test” at the end of this particular “lesson” is, “What do you think about the topic of this POLITICO article?” You are going to Harvard, all thanks to Politico. Read more on How Sweet: Politico Helps Students Prepare For The AP US Government & Politics Exam…