Here’s Sarah Palin being interviewed for some guy’s upcoming documentary about how the media stole her presidential victory and gave it to Barack Obama — TOO TRUE — by showing wholesale clips of her babbling embarrassing nonsense for minutes at a time, without interruption. This clip is over nine minutes long but we recommend watching it all, for hilarity. The best parts are when she’s watching old clips of herself being mocked on the interviewer’s portable teevee. She gets angry! [Big Hollywood]

This is your puppy, America. It belongs to you. [White House Puppy]

Ewww, observe this gross map! This eye-searing cross between a ribeye steak and a six-week fetus is supposed to illustrate something important about voting patterns by representing the size of a state according to population rather than acreage. This frees sad coastal Democrats from the “tyranny of geography” and puts uppity Wyoming Republicans in their place (i.e. nowhere). MORE »

Fred Voight, the adorably rosy-cheeked Deputy Election Commissioner of Philadelphia, says that antsy-pantsy voters need to just “get a life” and wait in the rain for hours and hours to vote on a single not-broken machine on election day. And then he’s all, “do not get your knickers in a twist, Philadelphia’s 5-to-1 Democratic, so we know how this election will go anyway.” He is the most refreshingly candid public official since Joe Biden. [American News Project]

“WASHINGTON - Hillary Rodham Clinton will concede Tuesday night that Barack Obama has the delegates to secure the Democratic nomination, campaign officials said, effectively ending her bid to be the nation’s first female president.”

But! MORE »

Katie Couric, having delivered the losingest ratings ever for two proud years at CBS Evening News, may leave after President McCain’s inauguration early next year. This would be far ahead of her scheduled departure date in 2011, but not a moment too soon for many aggrieved Bob Schieffer fans. [WSJ]

A newly released New York Times/CBS News poll suggests the nation’s males are no longer totally hot for Barack Obama. Their support has turtled back into a flaccid husk following revelations that the heartthrob candidate sucks at bowling and has an angry black pastor. MORE »

Today the wizened paratrooper and former president George H.W. Bush endorsed John McCain, the Grandfather of Modern Vietnam, in his bid to be President and Grandfather of All America. Poppy Bush stood in a hangar at the glamorous Houston Hobby Airport this morning and croaked out a few words of support for the man whom his son brought to memorably humiliating defeat in the 2000 contest for the Republican presidential nomination. MORE »

The McCain campaign’s two biggest priorities right now are finding a running mate and fundraising. According to reports, one issue “is being treated with considerably more urgency.” If you guessed that priority #1 was finding a successor to a candidate who, on Inauguration Day, will be just three years shy of average life expectancy, guess again! McCain is more worried about money, duh. [CNN]

He might talk about “labor rights” and “protecting the weakest among us,” but at the end of the day, presidential hopeful Barack Obama is just another double-talking fat cat. His ambition is so monstrous that now he’s turned out The Children to craft charming tee shirts in support of his cause. For shame, Mr. Obama. For shame. [Cafe Press: Kids Love Obama]

Last night, America elected its first co-presidents of Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia: a charismatic young senator, and some sort of midget goblin. [Washington Post]