Tag Archives: election night

  always in motion is the future

More Heartwarming Voting Tales From America

Hello friends! Your editors need to go gather supplies (guns, liquor) and walk our various beasts in the fields, and otherwise prepare for what begins at 7 p.m. Eastern. So enjoy this picture of a patriotic apple-o-bama pie by Ruth D., and tell us your election/voting tales of fun and horror, inside, in the comments. (ALSO: What is wrong with McCain’s website??!) Read more on More Heartwarming Voting Tales From America…
  whoring for hope

Everybody With Spare Obama Tickets Is Getting So Laid

If you’ve got a spare ticket to Obama’s Election Night Party in Chicago, you are going to get more ass than a toilet seat. Possibly attractive people are offering full access to all their various orifices to any creep with the special currency of Tuesday Night at Grant Park. Join us for a lecherous tour of Chicago Craigslist offers and demands. Read more on Everybody With Spare Obama Tickets Is Getting So Laid…
  to-do

Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World Part II

Here is a very special TO-DO with all the bars in DC and New York (and Arizona and Bangkok) that will be hosting Big Election Night Parties. (More U.S. and Global parties are here!) Go sake o’bombing and see the Yes We Can-Can! dancers because who knew there are so many alcohol-Obama hybrid puns that we can believe in? Also, what’s a party without celebrities? Here we have some gal who used to be on American Idol and star of MTV’s The Hills Jeffrey Rosen. Read more on Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World Part II…
  all tomorrow's parties

Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World

Good lord, Wonkette should just preemptively schedule a “recovery day” for Nov. 5, as none of you people will be in any shape to read words or process numbers next Wednesday. We asked for your SEXY ELECTION PARTYTIME listings, and we have a couple dozen fine offerings from Washington D.C. to Washington State, Tokyo to Tacoma, Bridgeport to Boston, Dallas to Dublin, Ottawa to Quetzaltenango, Sarasota to Seattle, Memphis to, uh, Ho Chi Minh City … plus Vegas and San Francisco and Brooklyn and MORE, MORE. Read more on Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World…
  you must offer wifi & teevee & whores

SEXY PARTIES: Is your bar or club or bathhouse or even your actual house-house hosting an Election Night party open to the public, or at least to fancy Wonkette readers? Then send us the basic info (Address, time, entry requirements, theme, etc.) under the subject line LIST MY SEXY ELECTION PARTYTIME and Intern Juli will add it to our Big Election Night To-Do Special, posting Thursday! Read more on …
  elitist to the end

McCain Won’t Address Supporters Nov. 4, Plans To Give Statement To ‘Small Group of Reporters’

John McCain won’t speak at his “Victory Party” on Election Night, the AP just reported. Instead, he’ll “deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel’s lawn.” Really? This is what your campaign announces 10 days before the election? That you’re such a furious loser that you’ve decided, in advance, to not address your supporters at your Election Night party? Read more on McCain Won’t Address Supporters Nov. 4, Plans To Give Statement To ‘Small Group of Reporters’…
  watch yr cornhole bud

Obama Chooses Horribly Dangerous Setting For Election Night Speech, Yay!

We commend the Secret Service agents assigned to Barack Obama, who have to put up with all of this INSANE crap he always announces a mere couple of weeks before big events, such as, “let’s not hold this historic rally in a safe, easily securable arena, let’s have it in a HUGE OPEN-AIR PLACE WITH GUNS EVERYWHERE.” Because the Obama campaign has chosen Chicago’s Grant Park, an enormous FIELD, as the venue for his election night rally, where he will deliver a speech, outdoors, in the dark. Why is Barack Obama trying to give everyone heart attacks? [The Swamp] Read more on Obama Chooses Horribly Dangerous Setting For Election Night Speech, Yay!…
 

In New York, the Joan’s Legacy Strolling Supper to benefit lung cancer research is auctioning off some doozies. One of which, is spending election night in the NBC control booth. Weirdos. [Page Six] Read more on …
 

Rumors On The Internets: In Our Wettest Dreams, There Are Only Six Political Blogs

* Fun-hating media watchdogs want you to get election results from ticker tape machines. [Political Insider] * If any judicial nominees go to a gay wedding, Sam Brownback wants it to be his. [The Angry Fag] * Bill O’Reilly discovers secret DNC plot to smear Fox News. [Johnny Dollar’s Place] * Weekly Democratic communications meetings to focus on football and the weather now that Lieberman’s leaktastic flack is sitting in. [Potomac Flacks] * No calls yet for phased troop withdrawal in the War on Christmas. [MoJo Blog] * Reporters refuse to turnover sources to the Government unless given a 50 lbs. bag of Funions. [Romenesko] * It’s hard to meet leftist chicks without being sooo into some radical activity. [Manifest Density] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: In Our Wettest Dreams, There Are Only Six Political Blogs…
 

Team Wonkette Blog Party Crash: CNN Did This Why Again?

This is basically what hell looks like. More pictures from last night’s weird-ass CNN BLOGSTRAVAGANZA, at the SITUATION BAR. Fun Facts: –John Aravosis hugs everyone. Like, hugs you, then introduces himself. –John Amato was not willing to go the extra mile and try to pick up Mary Katherine Ham, as we suggested. -Free booze is a blessing and a curse. –Nick Gillespie totally went home with Ann Althouse. -Despite the accent, Abbi Tatton is, in fact, from New Jersey. -Most of these are lies. More beautiful Liz Gorman pictures, below the fold. Read more on Team Wonkette Blog Party Crash: CNN Did This Why Again?…
 

Highlights From Our Insane All-Night Election Coverage

We uncovered New Mexico’s nefarious Babies-for-votes scandal. Choking, strangling, and voting machinicide — America, you so crazee! Our midterm drinking game was a huge success, if everyone’s hangover this morning is any indication. Read more on Highlights From Our Insane All-Night Election Coverage…
 

CBS Relying on Data Way More Accurate Than Exit Polls

CBS calls two races before any data is in. How do they do it? Two one word: neckwear. GOD BLESS AMERICA. The candidates with leis always win. Charlie Cook said that. Also, gold chains. And big oversized clocks. Read more on CBS Relying on Data Way More Accurate Than Exit Polls…
 

Massive Fraud, Voting Irregularities Lead to Katherine Harris “Loss”

CNN just called it for the other dude, Senator Astronaut. Katherine Harris, Gutsy Fighter, will gutsily fight on. Though insanely enough, only by 11 points. As of now, anyway. Chris Matthews has just referred to her as “the very fashionable but not politically successful.” He’s just insane enough to help ghostwrite her upcoming tell-all book. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Read more on Massive Fraud, Voting Irregularities Lead to Katherine Harris “Loss”…
 

BREAKING: BLOGGERS ARE NERDS

Our unofficial exit poll of the CNN Blog Party reveals that bloggers are all nerds. There’s an open bar. Keep that in mind as you read this list of what bloggers are drinking: Read more on BREAKING: BLOGGERS ARE NERDS…
 

We Have No Fucking Idea If These Are Accurate

…but we lean towards “not very.” Democrats leading: Virginia (52-47) Rhode Island (53-46) Pennsylvania (57-42) Ohio (57-43) New Jersey (52-45) Montana (53-46) Missouri (50-48) Maryland (53-46) Republicans leading: Tennessee (51-48) Arizona (50-46) Read more on We Have No Fucking Idea If These Are Accurate…
 

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR WONKETTE’S STEPMOM

Minnesota voters: You have until 8 pm central (we just checked with Scott Johnson from Powerline — so that time is not only accurate, but the MAINSTREAM MEDIA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW IT) to vote for Wendy Wilde, the stepmother of Wonkette Editor Alex Pareene (currently stuck in the hell that is the CNN Election Night Blog Party). If you’re in Minnesota’s 3rd district (and you know who you are), go out and pay a homeless person to vote for Wendy. Read more on DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR WONKETTE’S STEPMOM…
 

OMG BLOG SLUMBER PARTY

A time-delayed report from CNN’s Blog Party We’re at the bar, facing away from all the bloggers. To our right: Two giant monitors w/ webcams attached. On those monitors: Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds and Joshua Michah “Talking Points Memo” Marshall. On blurry, stuttering, crappy streaming internet video. Some serious Max Headroom shit at the blog party. Read more on OMG BLOG SLUMBER PARTY…