Tag Archives: election night

  casino campaign

ONLINE GAMBLING ADDICTS PICK OBAMA: InTrade is the offshore gambling website favored by hard-core gamblers/stock traders, and here is the bulletin we just got from InTrade, which is generally right about everything because people back their opinions with precious MONEY$$$: “OBAMA OVER MCCAIN, 364 TO 174 ELECTORAL VOTES; OBAMA WILL WIN OH, PA, FL, NC, VA, NH, MO, NM, NV.” [InTrade] Read more on …
  night of long knives

Buh-Bye Liddy Dole, Hello Western States

Your Barack Obama is leading by either 103 or 174 electoral votes, depending on whether you’re looking at our AP map or the CNN. Your kindly grandpa McCain has 49 electoral votes right now, says CNN, and McCain is at 34. There are new Democratic senators all over the place — New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina — and this is turning into one weird night. Read more on Buh-Bye Liddy Dole, Hello Western States…
  well that is a big state

PENNSYLVANIA CALLED FOR OBAMA: So sayeth MSNBC, and this means ….
  horror images

Hey Everybody, Look At The Horrible Thing CNN Did

If you were watching CNN around 7:15 ET then you saw this frightening hologram beast named “Jessica Yellin” appear from the planet Saturn to talk about, uh, Obama and the elections. So… who the hell greenlit this? BILL BENNETT? [Philadelphia Examiner] Read more on Hey Everybody, Look At The Horrible Thing CNN Did…
  liveblogging election night

Oh Holy Election Night, Here We Go!

Polls have closed, in some states! Your Wonkette Team, the best team of Wonkette editors on TeeVee, is here, along with serious supplies of wine, champagne and assault rifles. Mark Warner is your new Virginia Senator, yay, and sleazy fartbag Mitch McConnell is losing a bit, right now, in Kentucky. Vermont has gone for what’s his name, the King of Man, the Socialist-Terrorist. Read more on Oh Holy Election Night, Here We Go!…
  always in motion is the future

More Heartwarming Voting Tales From America

Hello friends! Your editors need to go gather supplies (guns, liquor) and walk our various beasts in the fields, and otherwise prepare for what begins at 7 p.m. Eastern. So enjoy this picture of a patriotic apple-o-bama pie by Ruth D., and tell us your election/voting tales of fun and horror, inside, in the comments. (ALSO: What is wrong with McCain’s website??!) Read more on More Heartwarming Voting Tales From America…
  whoring for hope

Everybody With Spare Obama Tickets Is Getting So Laid

If you’ve got a spare ticket to Obama’s Election Night Party in Chicago, you are going to get more ass than a toilet seat. Possibly attractive people are offering full access to all their various orifices to any creep with the special currency of Tuesday Night at Grant Park. Join us for a lecherous tour of Chicago Craigslist offers and demands. Read more on Everybody With Spare Obama Tickets Is Getting So Laid…
  to-do

Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World Part II

Here is a very special TO-DO with all the bars in DC and New York (and Arizona and Bangkok) that will be hosting Big Election Night Parties. (More U.S. and Global parties are here!) Go sake o’bombing and see the Yes We Can-Can! dancers because who knew there are so many alcohol-Obama hybrid puns that we can believe in? Also, what’s a party without celebrities? Here we have some gal who used to be on American Idol and star of MTV’s The Hills Jeffrey Rosen. Read more on Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World Part II…
  all tomorrow's parties

Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World

Good lord, Wonkette should just preemptively schedule a “recovery day” for Nov. 5, as none of you people will be in any shape to read words or process numbers next Wednesday. We asked for your SEXY ELECTION PARTYTIME listings, and we have a couple dozen fine offerings from Washington D.C. to Washington State, Tokyo to Tacoma, Bridgeport to Boston, Dallas to Dublin, Ottawa to Quetzaltenango, Sarasota to Seattle, Memphis to, uh, Ho Chi Minh City … plus Vegas and San Francisco and Brooklyn and MORE, MORE. Read more on Wonkette Sexy Election Parties Coast 2 Coast & Around the World…
  you must offer wifi & teevee & whores

SEXY PARTIES: Is your bar or club or bathhouse or even your actual house-house hosting an Election Night party open to the public, or at least to fancy Wonkette readers? Then send us the basic info (Address, time, entry requirements, theme, etc.) under the subject line LIST MY SEXY ELECTION PARTYTIME and Intern Juli will add it to our Big Election Night To-Do Special, posting Thursday! Read more on …
  elitist to the end

McCain Won’t Address Supporters Nov. 4, Plans To Give Statement To ‘Small Group of Reporters’

John McCain won’t speak at his “Victory Party” on Election Night, the AP just reported. Instead, he’ll “deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel’s lawn.” Really? This is what your campaign announces 10 days before the election? That you’re such a furious loser that you’ve decided, in advance, to not address your supporters at your Election Night party? Read more on McCain Won’t Address Supporters Nov. 4, Plans To Give Statement To ‘Small Group of Reporters’…
  watch yr cornhole bud

Obama Chooses Horribly Dangerous Setting For Election Night Speech, Yay!

We commend the Secret Service agents assigned to Barack Obama, who have to put up with all of this INSANE crap he always announces a mere couple of weeks before big events, such as, “let’s not hold this historic rally in a safe, easily securable arena, let’s have it in a HUGE OPEN-AIR PLACE WITH GUNS EVERYWHERE.” Because the Obama campaign has chosen Chicago’s Grant Park, an enormous FIELD, as the venue for his election night rally, where he will deliver a speech, outdoors, in the dark. Why is Barack Obama trying to give everyone heart attacks? [The Swamp] Read more on Obama Chooses Horribly Dangerous Setting For Election Night Speech, Yay!…
 

In New York, the Joan’s Legacy Strolling Supper to benefit lung cancer research is auctioning off some doozies. One of which, is spending election night in the NBC control booth. Weirdos. [Page Six] Read more on …
 

Rumors On The Internets: In Our Wettest Dreams, There Are Only Six Political Blogs

* Fun-hating media watchdogs want you to get election results from ticker tape machines. [Political Insider] * If any judicial nominees go to a gay wedding, Sam Brownback wants it to be his. [The Angry Fag] * Bill O’Reilly discovers secret DNC plot to smear Fox News. [Johnny Dollar’s Place] * Weekly Democratic communications meetings to focus on football and the weather now that Lieberman’s leaktastic flack is sitting in. [Potomac Flacks] * No calls yet for phased troop withdrawal in the War on Christmas. [MoJo Blog] * Reporters refuse to turnover sources to the Government unless given a 50 lbs. bag of Funions. [Romenesko] * It’s hard to meet leftist chicks without being sooo into some radical activity. [Manifest Density] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: In Our Wettest Dreams, There Are Only Six Political Blogs…