Barack Obama Might Still Think He Could Be Governor Of New Jersey
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
RedState’s Moe Lane, an apparent male (?!), recorded a very flattering and pithy video message for President Obama, who, you’ll recall, famously lost New Jersey’s gubernatorial election last night. It’s very important that Moe Lane videotaped himself smugly intoning the words “No, you can’t” in what appears to be a sunken house boat because of so many reasons. [RedState]











Friendly blogger Aaron Cohen sent us a nifty thing he made, on the Internet: “I recently set out to create an election reactions reference that could be used in the future to help get an idea for what people were thinking in the week or so after November 4th.” He even included your Wonkette! (After your Wonkette cursed at him for not including us.) The
Michelle Obama is worse than Cindy McCain times Sarah Palin divided by Imelda Marcos times one million. Her election-night earrings cost a reported $11,000 — approximately twice what a healthy human kidney will fetch on the black market! This is a relevant metric because next year we will all be selling our kidneys to make rent, until we burn down our rental dwellings for firewood. Meanwhile, the Obamas will be sitting in the White House feasting on precious gems and fillets of endangered species. [
You did it, Liberals! Thanks to your help, your hard work, this country will officially be renamed “The American Caliphate” in January, 2009. Oy. Jesus damn. Forty years ago your associate editor’s neighborhood in Southeast D.C. was on fire, nightly. The MLK assassination did not “go over” very well here. But right now, there are two fireworks displays running strong and people honking their horns, for fun. People get so worked up about things, don’t they?… Well let’s stop rambling and see what the new President has to say. 
Good god, that is a gloomy scene at the McCain party in Phoenix. Two McCain top people have told CNN they see “no path to victory,” considering the situation. This might be an early concession speech. Or not, who knows? Maybe McCain will force Sarah Palin, at gunpoint, to crawl around on her knees in a bikini while he savagely beats her, like a pinata. This is the “Arizona Way,” after all.
ONLINE GAMBLING ADDICTS PICK OBAMA: InTrade is the offshore gambling website favored by hard-core gamblers/stock traders, and here is the bulletin we just got from InTrade, which is generally right about everything because people back their opinions with precious MONEY$$$: “OBAMA OVER MCCAIN, 364 TO 174 ELECTORAL VOTES; OBAMA WILL WIN OH, PA, FL, NC, VA, NH, MO, NM, NV.” [
Your Barack Obama is leading by either 103 or 174 electoral votes, depending on whether you’re looking at our AP map or the CNN. Your kindly grandpa McCain has 49 electoral votes right now, says CNN, and McCain is at 34. There are new Democratic senators all over the place — New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina — and this is turning into one weird night.