Tag: election night

Why's everybody always picking on him? He's a winner!

Forget It: There’s No Language Donald Trump’s Nuremberg Speech Would’ve Sounded Better In

You WILL love the Trump, under penalty of law.

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The return of Benghazi Mom, a great wall of taco trucks, & the flabby arm of the law! Here's your daily news brief!

Meet Kentucky’s New Cock-Fightin’ Teabaggin’ Gov. Matt Bevin!

Kentucky's a hell of a drug. Extra-crispy wingnut Matt Bevin was too crazy even for Republican primary voters to send him to the Senate in place of RINO Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2014, so the whole state decided Bevin...

Obama Tried To Call Mitch McConnell And John Boehner On Election Night, But They Lied That They Were Sleeping

Why does that dastardly Nobumer keep refusing to work with Republicans, except for all those times he tried to pass Cap & Trade (a Republican idea) and Obamacare (a Republican idea) and all those other times too? Like, he...

Livebloggenning the Election, Episode 4 More Years: Return Of The Jedi President

Say, did we mention that we really, REALLY like saying "Senator-Elect Elizabeth Warren"? It's an awfully good phrase, don't you think? Here we are at the fourth installment of this marathon, and Virginia, Ohio, and Florida are all still...

Your Wonkette Concedes Nothing, Never: Part 2 Of A Drunk And Getting Drunker Liveblog

After at least seven voter "outreaches" apiece from all 37 FEC-registered presidential campaigns, your humble Wonkette team is ready to keep spreading the Good News, right up til the networks drag the last formaldehyde-reeking pundit out of storage. (Laura...

Barack Obama’s Huge Election: Your Throbbing Liveblog (Part 1)

Greetings, Wonkers! Welcome to your exciting Election Night Liveblog for Celebration and / or Weeping! We hope you have laid in a supply of the necessary ingredients: snack foods, kleenex, antidepressants, and The Good Stuff, whatever that may...

A Children’s Treasury Of Verbatim Last-Minute FOX NEWS Theatre

INTRO: THE WHO, "WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN" CHYRON: GOP ELECTION OFFICIALS BLOCKED FROM ENTERING POLLING SITES IN PA, JUDGE REINSTATES THEM MURAL OF PRES OBAMA ON WALL AT PHILADELPHIA POLLING SITE GETS COVERED AFTER COMPLAINTS VOTERFRAUD@FOXNEWS.COM VOTER FRAUD MONITORS ON HIGH...

Oh Right We Have Just Now Decided To Have A Los Angeles Election Night Party

Since we will have a chat cave full of courrespondentes live-blooging tonight's MADNESS for you, the feverishly page-refreshing Wonkadero, your Editrix has decided to take the night off and treat herself and her fellow Angelenos to Election Night beers...

Your Illinois ‘Lincoln Primary’ Open Thread

Did you hear that there's a political primary in Illinois tonight, even though Mitt Romney has pretty much mathematically locked up the nomination? This is a thing you will want to type about! Illinois is a fascinating state: There's...

ABC Won’t Have Andrew Breitbart’s Expert Poop-Leech Analysis Tonight

ABC News released an e-mail they sent to human poop-leech Andrew Breitbart this afternoon telling him he now cannot take part in their election coverage tonight even though America will miss his expertise in accusing minorities of racism. They...

Join Us For Liveblogging, Tonight, Coast To Coast!

From New Jersey to South Carolina, Maine to Arkansas, Northern California to Southern California, tonight will be the most explosive Primary Election of June 2010, and you can be there, live, by simply being wherever you are, and following...

Barack Obama Might Still Think He Could Be Governor Of New Jersey

RedState's Moe Lane, an apparent male (?!), recorded a very flattering and pithy video message for President Obama, who, you'll recall, famously lost New Jersey's gubernatorial election last night. It's very important that Moe Lane videotaped himself smugly intoning...

Look, An Election Night Time Capsule, On The Internet, For Aliens

Friendly blogger Aaron Cohen sent us a nifty thing he made, on the Internet: "I recently set out to create an election reactions reference that could be used in the future to help get an idea for what people...

Michelle Obama Wears Expensive Jewelry, Just Like Republicans!

Michelle Obama is worse than Cindy McCain times Sarah Palin divided by Imelda Marcos times one million. Her election-night earrings cost a reported $11,000 -- approximately twice what a healthy human kidney will fetch on the black market! This...

Barack Obama Wins … Indiana, Too!

Indiana. With 99% of the precincts reporting, Indiana has gone blue/black or whatever new thing we will call states. Indiana. It is 2:09 a.m., on Wednesday, and Indiana is in the tank. Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Nevada ... it's 349-159,...