ABC News released an e-mail they sent to human poop-leech Andrew Breitbart this afternoon telling him he now cannot take part in their election coverage tonight even though America will miss his expertise in accusing minorities of racism. They definitely wanted Breitbart to participate in their online coverage, they say, but they were sick of [...]
From New Jersey to South Carolina, Maine to Arkansas, Northern California to Southern California, tonight will be the most explosive Primary Election of June 2010, and you can be there, live, by simply being wherever you are, and following the news while drinking! This is what we call Liveblogging In America, and we hope you’ll [...]
RedState’s Moe Lane, an apparent male (?!), recorded a very flattering and pithy video message for President Obama, who, you’ll recall, famously lost New Jersey’s gubernatorial election last night. It’s very important that Moe Lane videotaped himself smugly intoning the words “No, you can’t” in what appears to be a sunken house boat because of [...]
Friendly blogger Aaron Cohen sent us a nifty thing he made, on the Internet: “I recently set out to create an election reactions reference that could be used in the future to help get an idea for what people were thinking in the week or so after November 4th.” He even included your Wonkette! (After [...]
Michelle Obama is worse than Cindy McCain times Sarah Palin divided by Imelda Marcos times one million. Her election-night earrings cost a reported $11,000 — approximately twice what a healthy human kidney will fetch on the black market! This is a relevant metric because next year we will all be selling our kidneys to make [...]
Indiana. With 99% of the precincts reporting, Indiana has gone blue/black or whatever new thing we will call states. Indiana. It is 2:09 a.m., on Wednesday, and Indiana is in the tank. Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Nevada … it’s 349-159, at the moment. It is a massive win.
You did it, Liberals! Thanks to your help, your hard work, this country will officially be renamed “The American Caliphate” in January, 2009. Oy. Jesus damn. Forty years ago your associate editor’s neighborhood in Southeast D.C. was on fire, nightly. The MLK assassination did not “go over” very well here. But right now, there are [...]
With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. [...]
Good god, that is a gloomy scene at the McCain party in Phoenix. Two McCain top people have told CNN they see “no path to victory,” considering the situation. This might be an early concession speech. Or not, who knows? Maybe McCain will force Sarah Palin, at gunpoint, to crawl around on her knees in [...]
embedSWF(9, 0, 0, “presidential”); We’ll keep this map live up top, all night long, until it’s settled. [AOL News]
ONLINE GAMBLING ADDICTS PICK OBAMA: InTrade is the offshore gambling website favored by hard-core gamblers/stock traders, and here is the bulletin we just got from InTrade, which is generally right about everything because people back their opinions with precious MONEY$$$: “OBAMA OVER MCCAIN, 364 TO 174 ELECTORAL VOTES; OBAMA WILL WIN OH, PA, FL, NC, [...]
Your Barack Obama is leading by either 103 or 174 electoral votes, depending on whether you’re looking at our AP map or the CNN. Your kindly grandpa McCain has 49 electoral votes right now, says CNN, and McCain is at 34. There are new Democratic senators all over the place — New Hampshire, New Mexico, [...]
PENNSYLVANIA CALLED FOR OBAMA: So sayeth MSNBC, and this means ….
If you were watching CNN around 7:15 ET then you saw this frightening hologram beast named “Jessica Yellin” appear from the planet Saturn to talk about, uh, Obama and the elections. So… who the hell greenlit this? BILL BENNETT? [Philadelphia Examiner]
Polls have closed, in some states! Your Wonkette Team, the best team of Wonkette editors on TeeVee, is here, along with serious supplies of wine, champagne and assault rifles. Mark Warner is your new Virginia Senator, yay, and sleazy fartbag Mitch McConnell is losing a bit, right now, in Kentucky. Vermont has gone for what’s [...]
