Tag: election day

There's no better salve for the empty feeling you get after casting your ballot than the gooey greasy salt-fat blob of a delicious anus...

For the fifth time since October, an innocent military facility in Virginia has been savagely shot by some armed weirdo. The shooter is probably...

The Democrats will "win" today, because of cellphones: A lot of American adults (now about one-quarter of them) have ditched landlines and rely exclusively on...

Hooray, it's Election Day! America finally gets to vote out the Democrats, even though voters have a more favorable opinion of Democrats than of...

Today, most of America’s children are happily sedated from an all-night candy binge conditioning exercise. They are taking their giant pillowcases of winnings to...

Every election day since 2006, we've asked Wonkette Operatives across the nation to send sexy camera-phone pictures of Polling Place hijinx. But this year,...

Yesterday happened! Recall its winners: Bloomberg, Owens, Christie, various Others. It was also yesterday in Virgina too, where Bob McDonnell defeated Creigh Deeds and...

Here is a clip from today's White House press briefing, in which the hairiest man alive grills Robert Gibbs: what do you think your...

Michael Steele has something to ask all of you in “the Internet Land” (the bathroom): let’s get our win on, baby? “Donate your face…...

Happy Election Day! Today Chris Christie could lose more than just weight, though really, he could lose some weight. Political capital, political capital Obama...

It's pretty exciting to vote, right? Remember how cool you felt in November, voting for the black dude? Remember how fun it was, voting...

Good god, that is a gloomy scene at the McCain party in Phoenix. Two McCain top people have told CNN they see "no path...

Your Barack Obama is leading by either 103 or 174 electoral votes, depending on whether you're looking at our AP map or the CNN....

Polls have closed, in some states! Your Wonkette Team, the best team of Wonkette editors on TeeVee, is here, along with serious supplies of...

Hello friends! Your editors need to go gather supplies (guns, liquor) and walk our various beasts in the fields, and otherwise prepare for what...

Wonkette Bazaar