election day

Look at this awesome guy! You would think they would have thrown him out of the polling place at Los Angeles’s Union Rescue Mission, on Skid Row, for electioneering. And yet they did not! What is our world even coming to?

We don’t want to get into any ugly stereotyping, but one of our major-party candidates for president is working very hard today, voting this morning and then flying to other states, while the other one is just chilling on the South Side of Chicago and playing some hoops with his so-called “home boys.” Do we […]

In a super-exclusive (read: he was the only person who would talk to them) interview with World Net Daily’s Aaron Klein, New Black Panther Party head Malik Shabazz (real name: Paris Lewis) threatens to once again dominate the white man at up to one polling place in November. During an interview on WABC Radio’s “Aaron […]

Hello, California! The voters, in their infinite wisdom, have done another fun thing to your precious California ballot, and that is that you can now vote for your favorite two people in any primary election, starting today! Apparently Rolling Stone thinks this means that Dems will vote for moderate Republicans instead of the rabid folk […]

There’s no better salve for the empty feeling you get after casting your ballot than the gooey greasy salt-fat blob of a delicious anus burger sliding down your throat to rest in your gut alongside the “beef tallow” sodium stick fries and 72 ounces of corn syrup you just consumed as an appetizer. You might […]

For the fifth time since October, an innocent military facility in Virginia has been savagely shot by some armed weirdo. The shooter is probably a former Marine and current nutcase, according to FBI agent Clarice Starling. And this time, the victim was a Coast Guard recruiting office in Woodbridge, Va. The same gunman probably shot […]

The Democrats will “win” today, because of cellphones: A lot of American adults (now about one-quarter of them) have ditched landlines and rely exclusively on mobile phones, and a lot of pollsters don’t call mobile phones. Cellphone-only voters tend to be younger, more urban, and less white — all Democratic demographics — and a study […]

Hooray, it’s Election Day! America finally gets to vote out the Democrats, even though voters have a more favorable opinion of Democrats than of Republicans. (Wait, what?) Erick Erickson is already gloating and offering to help you with your resume, because tomorrow John Boehner is going to fire everyone. (Unless you roll cigarettes/work at the […]

Today, most of America’s children are happily sedated from an all-night candy binge conditioning exercise. They are taking their giant pillowcases of winnings to school and bragging about who scored more free Snickers bars, because that is the meaning of Freedom. But this is not the case for the children who were subjected to a […]

Every election day since 2006, we’ve asked Wonkette Operatives across the nation to send sexy camera-phone pictures of Polling Place hijinx. But this year, we’ll only ask those living in the “voting rights” dirty dozen states with elections today. The question for 2010 is this: Will Nevada’s cruel anti-choice ban on Chicken Costumes at the […]

Yesterday happened! Recall its winners: Bloomberg, Owens, Christie, various Others. [New York Times] It was also yesterday in Virgina too, where Bob McDonnell defeated Creigh Deeds and is therefore the state’s new governor. [Washington Post] The state of Maine poured rock salt on gay marriage and voted to up the medical marijuana usage. [WSJ] Today […]

Here is a clip from today’s White House press briefing, in which the hairiest man alive grills Robert Gibbs: what do you think your perception of the perception of the political perception of current political politics will be if political things happen for Democrats or Republicans in the political governors’ races in Virginia and New […]

Michael Steele has something to ask all of you in “the Internet Land” (the bathroom): let’s get our win on, baby? “Donate your face… to the campaigns,” he adds, as Bob McDonnell and his evil children plot to destroy him from behind. [Rumproast]

Happy Election Day! Today Chris Christie could lose more than just weight, though really, he could lose some weight. [New York Times] Political capital, political capital Obama Corzine political politics-word capital. [AP] The North Korean Army has taken control of the economy, the country’s food supply, their natural resources, etc. [Washington Post] President of Irony […]

It’s pretty exciting to vote, right? Remember how cool you felt in November, voting for the black dude? Remember how fun it was, voting against goddamned Sarah Palin and Walnuts? And just cold goin’ down the ballot and voting against anybody with an “R” after their name? Fun times. You can relive the excitement today […]