GOODBYE FOREVER: “Hosni Mubarak has resigned as president of Egypt, the country’s vice president said in a brief statement Friday. Omar Suleiman, speaking on state television, said Mubarak had decided to give up ‘the office of the president of the republic’ and said the Supreme Council of the armed forces would “run the affairs of [...]
Hosni Mubarak announced yesterday that he enjoys being a rich dictator and is not interested in resigning so just deal with it, causing widespread grumpiness and serious blue balls throughout Egypt. And today we learn that the Egyptian army supports Mubarak’s decision to serve the rest of his term. Weak, weak sauce. Meanwhile, army leaders [...]
Hey guess who just gave his long-awaited resignation speech and DIDN’T ACTUALLY QUIT? We were just listening to this on BBC World Service in the car and about 90 seconds into the live translation, we said to ourselves, “Uhh, he’s not quitting.” And it took only a few more minutes for the demonstrators in Liberation [...]
After weeks of increasingly insane protests and strikes and attacks by Mubarak’s camel-riding thugs, it looks like Ronald Reagan and Joe Biden’s best friend, Hosni Mubarak, will finally resign today. This is according to Egyptian state television, which until this week was a propaganda arm of the Mubarak regime, and the Egyptian Army, which until [...]
The Conservative Political Action Conference 2011 begins today, and ends when we all have herpes! For the next three days, dozens of presidential hopefuls will compete in oratory fellatio, to prove to America that they love Ronald Reagan the most. Even Donald Trump is scheduled to give a special speech/PowerPoint presentation about his hairpiece. But [...]
The Egyptian People are still very angry at their trillionaire dictator, even though Dick Cheney has said repeatedly that Mubarak is “a good man” and “an extraordinary [rendition] friend.” And now labor strikes have erupted all over Egypt, including a sit-in by “about 6,000 workers at five service companies owned by the Suez Canal Authority,” [...]
As many commentators, such as Sarah Palin, will tell you, the U.S. cannot allow Egypt to become a democracy because its people might want their laws to reflect their religion. That would be great, except their religion is not Christianity, it’s Islam. So they’re all terrorists. But now, according to a Gallup poll, the American [...]
“I think the fact that they appointed a very able diplomat Frank Wisner and within two days were publicly contradicting him is you know so amateurish,” Gingrich told CNN Chief National Correspondent John King. “I was with John Bolton (former ambassador to the United Nations) last night. He said it’s inconceivable that they would be [...]
“We want to be able to trust those who are screaming for democracy there in Egypt, that it is a true sincere desire for freedoms. And the challenge that we have though, is how do we verify what it is that we are being told?” Aha! Those people couldn’t truly want democracy. They’re Muslim. Nice [...]
Screaming radio lunatics agree: Egypt is the go-to place for “epic lolz” right now, what with all the protesters being shot dead in the streets and secret police vans plowing through crowds of unarmed civilians! And what about all those foreign journalists being rounded up? This is also very hilarious, is it not? America’s favorite [...]
For some reason (won the journalist street beatdown sweepstakes?), Christiane Amanpour scored an exclusive interview with Hosni Mubarak, and this is what she was told: “He told me that he is fed up with being president.” Fed up! You know, it was fun for thirty years, but he’s not just feeling it anymore for some [...]
Don’t these Egyptians realize they’re supposed to provide a nice backdrop for these newscasts and stop moving around so much? Ignore the Americans in their safari shirts. Sure, you should kill each other in the back of the shot. That’s great. But stay a safe distance away.
Now that Hosni Mubarak has sort of admitted he is relinquishing power (he will be so surprised when Egypt re-elects him in the fall with 97% of the vote even though he won’t have been on the ballot!), the military politely asked if the protestors to stop it. They obviously knew something, because today crowds [...]
Look: One of those behind-the-scenes stories about the administration. Will is prove to be endlessly fascinating, or will it be yet again as boring as its subjects? Well, it turns out Hillary Clinton is being used by Obama for advice on Egypt and to represent him on this issue. Almost like she’s Secretary of State [...]
Egypt President Hosni Mubarak has finally given into protests somewhat, saying he will not “run” (as if he ever has) in the fall for a new term in office. Woah! It’s as if public sentiment could stop him from winning another election! “I have spent enough time serving Egypt,” he said, which, coincidentally, is exactly [...]
