Wonkette

• Say goodbye to all the zeitgeist-y cover stories in your City Paper. [The Georgetown Voice]
• Here is a nauseating list of all eggs and ice cream and coffee that famous Washington celebrities eat upon waking. [DCist]
• Why all DCs bagels are so terrible, and a $700 billion Bagel Bailout Plan. [City Paper]
• Ha ha, here are the photos from Roll Call’s “Fabulous Fifty” Party, which are just shots of a dozen or so frustrated people yelling into cell phones and avoiding eye contact by sadly looking down into their Diet Pepsis. [Fishbowl DC]
• Terrible fake postal terrorism struck the Dept. of Veterans’ Affairs, as an envelope arrived brimming with Suspicious White Powder and intolerance. [Washington Post]

Happy Day After Easter, everybody! This is the time of year when Our Christian Nation celebrates the execution of the Middle Eastern insurgent Jesus al-Christ with an ancient pagan fertility festival named for the goddess Eostre. It’s also when the White House once again honors the 50 states by displaying crappy decorated eggs that are somehow representative of the states in question. Hey look it’s a terrible bloated morbidly obese Panda! Guess which “state” goes with this loathsome egg. MORE »

Lynne Hamer, the acclaimed author of Name That Dog: Dogs of Presidents, Kings, Queens, Governors, and Celebrities sends us a hilarious top ten list (with two number fours and number ones) of PEOPLE WHO HAVE EGG ON THEIR FACE AND NOT IN THEIR BASKET. This is a reference to Easter, and to all the dumb losers who shilled for Barack Obama. So who’s on this magical loser list of eggfaces? MORE »

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