edumacation
Texas Teacher Explains She’s Far Too Racist To Have Molested That Black Seven Year Old
A former teacher at a Texas charter school is defending against charges that she fondled a seven year old girl by claiming that, as a diehard racist, she does not like touching negroidal persons, and so she couldn’t possibly have done the awful thing she’s accused of doing. As excuses go, it’s no “I forgot,” [...]
Pat Robertson Celebrates The Beautiful Miracle Of Not Knowing Stuff
You may have wondered, as did a caller to Pat Robertson’s 700 Club teevee show yesterday, why God just doesn’t seem to fling miracles at people in U.S. America the way He did in biblical times, or even the way He reputedly does in the Third World today. Robertson explained, with that smile of his [...]
Glenn Reynolds Will Rescue The Lost Boys From The Tyranny Of MILF Island
Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds, who splits his time between peddling survival equipment on his blog and stroking what can in no way be interpreted as a giant black phallus, is also a rather notable country lawyer with access to the USA Today. So what did Reynolds choose to publish this week in America’s preferred paper for [...]
Hero Student Teacher Stops Racist Math Problems Dead
Oh, sure, we could be outraged and annoyed that any teacher of fourth-graders could be so clueless as to think it would be appropriate to distribute a “Slavery Word Problems Homework” worksheet to their students, because we would like to think that nobody would give nine-year-olds questions like “In a slave ship, there can be [...]
To Promote Freedom, Idaho Senator Wants To Require All Students To Read ‘Atlas Shrugged’
To make a point about government efficiency or something, an Idaho state senator has introduced a bill that he has no intention of actually passing. The proposal would require all Idaho high school students to read Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and pass a test on it in order to graduate. The Spokane Spokesman-Review reports that [...]
Wingnuts Furious: Texas Kids Design Imaginary Flags For Nonexistent Pretend Socialist Nation
Pity the poor children of Texas. Not only do they have to live in a state full of Texans, but many of them are at high risk of growing up to be Texans, too. Oh, and on top of that, they are constantly being bombarded by communist propaganda in their Texan-run schools, because apparently only [...]
Tennessee To Poor Children: Failed Geometry? No Food for You!
A Tennessee state senator has figured out why children from poor homes aren’t doing well in school — it is because their families’ situation is not quite precarious enough! To motivate the lazy Poors to become better parents, Stacey Campfield (R-HardKnoxville) has introduced a bill that would cut Temporary Assistance to Needy Families benefits by [...]
How Are Arizona Republicans Performing Patriot Fellatio Today? (SFW)
Hey! Want to get scared shitless today? That’s great, because Arizona still exists, and all we have to do is say, “What are they doing?” and boom things instantly get weird and awful. So… what are they doing? Well, there’s a Democrat who’s trying to make it a felony to intentionally give someone an STD, [...]
Texas Schools Implement Carefully Crafted Law By Teaching Bible As 100% Fact
So, back in 2007, the Texas legislature passed a law mandating that all public schools in the state include instruction on “the Hebrew Scriptures” and the New Testament and their impact on literature and history. Don’t worry, supporters of the law said, we aren’t going to be teaching religious doctrine, this law is all about [...]
Here’s A Surprise: School Vouchers Help Spread Creationism
Just in case anyone was worried that American schools were sinking into a morass of Creationism and Stupid (ah, but we repeat ourselves), the bad news is, well, they kind of are. But the good news is that there are some pretty awesome young people who refuse to sit back and let it happen, like [...]
GOP Needs To Focus On Education, Says Man Whose State Textbooks Say Loch Ness Monster Is Real
Lousiana Gov. Bobby Jindal gave a speech yesterday outlining his version of what the GOP needs to do differently in order to be less like the GOP. Startlingly, there is a way to make fun of it. His prescription: Education! We need to fix education! Which sounds like a great idea, until you take into [...]
Houston Schools Bravely Protect Students From Deliberately Fake Science Book
Ah, Texas, a place where the teaching of science is always just a state school board vote away from including the Book of Genesis, where the state’s textbook selection process sets the agenda for textbooks across the nation, and where the state GOP platform actually calls for schools to stop teaching “critical thinking skills” (risk [...]
Suspended From School In Mississippi? That’s A Jailing
We at Wonkette have been pretty excited about Louisiana lately, what with revealing that they are one of the more awful states of the union in terms of infant mortality and life expectancy and whatnot, and also because they will teach about the Loch Ness monster in science class (so long as they don’t have [...]
Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools
Hooray! The Texas GOP has published its 2012 platform! It’s a bonanza for list-makers, from Think Progress to Comedy Central, because it’s just THAT FULL of crazy. It’s a veritable Boffo’s Joke Emporium Grab-Bag of lunacy: we’ve got pledges to repeal the 1965 Voter [sic] Rights Act, to stop the womenfolk from doing ungodly things [...]
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