Hooray, it’s time to indoctrinate the school children at the government-run anti-choice public school-prisons. But how will we best teach these weak lumps of young shit how to be Nazi-Socialists for the Black Panthers? WITH THE TEEVEE, obvs. And that’s why the no-good Hawaiian-Chicago street hustler, Barry Nobama, will speak to the childrens on the closed circuit today, old school, and of course oh good gravy there are some WHITE folks who heard about this, and they are not so happy about a common African Slave telling kids to “stay in school.” Look what happens when black kids stay in school and go to Harvard and all that …. BLAM, black dude is president. Not good. MORE »

While the state of Colorado has a few nice cities and some lovely wilderness, until very recently the entire state was run by the Ku Klux Klan, and those people didn’t all just die/disappear! And you can bet the “Rocky Mountain Fever Tick” wingnuts are not pleased about this colored fella speaking to kids on teevee about the so-called “value” of “education” and “staying in school.” So, to fight this black-socialist threat, the poor white children of wingnuts will be forced stay home and get dumber, while watching the hip-hop on the home teevee, because Barack Obama is going to address the schoolkids next week, for a few minutes, on the school teevee. MORE »

It was “only” 65 years ago when America seemed to be on the upswing, in large part because millions of World War II veterans got a paid college education and no-down low-interest mortgages. Less than five years after the formal end of the Great Depression, higher education and a modern home became reality for the very people who were starving and illiterate in the grim 1930s. And now, no thanks to “Country First” fraudster John McCain, a wonderful new GI Bill was welcomed today by draft-dodging Kenyan bounty hunter Barack Obama. America now has hope that the post-9/11 veteran will end up smart, comfortable and happy … and not some redneck racist wingnut terrorist mass-murderer like Timothy McVeigh. MORE »

* Why a hammer might be needed for a wine refrigerator remains one of the great mysteries of humankind. [DC Foodies]
* Too true: “Every once in a while, I have to go into Georgetown on a weekend to remind myself why I don’t do it often.” [DC Mr. Anthrope]
* Glad to know the educational system in this country works — thanks, No Child Left Behind! [Eavesdrop DC]
* Pizza in D.C.? Who knew that existed? [Gridskipper]
* “In fact, climate change coverage has become so intense and ubiquitous in popular culture that it is radiating back into the news division of at least one major broadcast network.” [Capital Weather]

Do you dream of spending hundreds of billions of other people’s money to fuck up entire regions of the Earth while killing hundreds of thousands of people? Is your idea of “progress” daily cargo planes filled with dead Americans? Wondering how to turn a moment of national tragedy into a six-year global bloodbath? Dreaming of doing exactly what Osama bin Ladens tells you to do? MORE »

Is our children learning? Probably not, based on the kind of news we hear from Our Troubled Schools. A district in Washington State has banned showings of Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth,” because Jesus Freaks are angry about Al Gore saying anything about how the Earth is melting and there’s no God to save us. MORE »

If you love edumacation, then you’ll love today’s crazy new word, malkin. But what does it mean? Nobody really knows, so these are the current official definitions:

1. An untidy woman; a slattern.
2. A scarecrow or a grotesque effigy.
3. A mop made of a bundle or rags fastened to a stick.
4. A cat.
5. A hare.
[From Middle English Malkyn (little Molly), diminutive of the name Maud or Molly/Mary.]
A related word is grimalkin, referring to an old female cat or an ill-tempered old woman.

Learning is fun! Here’s what we had to say about the beloved word way back in September:

Speaking of highbrow white anglo culture, Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of Coriolanus features a “Malkin” — you know, a Kitchen Slut!

A Word A Day [Wordsmith]

How many Democrats in tight races do you think are calling in mafia hits on Kerry right about now? Johnny boy, you’d best wait out November in the Skull & Bones crypt. The CIA will send the usual security detail. MORE »