Tag Archives: education

  And This Is The 'Moderate' One

King John Kasich Promises To Ban Whiny Teachers From Whining

Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?
He’s like Tim Pawlenty without the charisma Ohio Gov. Tim Pawlenty took a little time Wednesday to remind the GOP primary electorate that, for all that “moderate” stuff they may have heard about him, he’s just as able to sound like a rightwing turd-mongler as any other Republican. For instance, he really hates unions, especially teachers’ unions, so that’s a terrific thing about John Kasich. See? Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker isn’t the only Get Tough On Teachers and Murder Public Education candidate in the race. Even if pundits keep slandering Kasich as “electable,” he still hates stuff that the base hates too, hooray. Read more on King John Kasich Promises To Ban Whiny Teachers From Whining…
  Ricky Has Two Ideas

Rick Santorum Should Try Calling Donald Trump An Asshole If He Wants Any Attention

Can't go wrong with the classics
Nobody is paying any attention to Rick Santorum, who is also a Republican presidential candidate, you know. Sure, an unpopular second-tier one, but still! He is running for president again, look at him, look at him, LOOK AT HIM NOW! So, having conclusively proven in his failed 2012 run that college education is only for snobs and elitists, Rick Santorum (holder of a bachelor’s degree, MBA, and a J.D.) is turning his sights to the abysmal state of elementary schools, which he thinks only teach about gay families because The Creeping Gay has completely taken over Gaymerica. Take note, media, Santorum is speaking! Read more on Rick Santorum Should Try Calling Donald Trump An Asshole If He Wants Any Attention…
  Also Their Football Team Sucks

Lawsuit Against Trump’s Scammy ‘University’ May Reveal What The Bastard’s Really Worth

On the other hand, we would totally go to Twilight Sparkle University
Here’s a little bit of trivia that you might want to stash away in the same corner of your brain that remembers how Al Capone was finally busted not for being a mobster, but for tax evasion: It’s starting to look like the best glimpse America may really get of Donald Trump’s actual net worth will probably come from a discovery filing in a class-action lawsuit against his dumb fake “University,” rather than from his federal election financial disclosure forms. We can’t wait for Trump to condemn the people suing him as idiots and lightweights for falling for his distance-learning scam, just as he screamed at the New York AG who sued Trump “University” for fraud. Read more on Lawsuit Against Trump’s Scammy ‘University’ May Reveal What The Bastard’s Really Worth…
  America saw him first

Majority Of Americans Agree God Loves America Best

And that's how America was made!
Here is some interesting news, as we U.S. Americans begin our annual weekend of getting real drunk and shooting off fireworks, due to something we read in a history book about America but can’t quite remember. (Muskets were involved.) Did you know that, according to 53% of Americans, our country has a “special relationship” with God? Take THAT, 195 other countries in the world, you all are just acquaintances with God, whereas He is taking US to the prom, and is going to ask us to gay marry Him any day now, WE JUST KNOW IT: Read more on Majority Of Americans Agree God Loves America Best…
  Republican math

Gov. Sam Brownback Only Raised Taxes On Poors, So It Doesn’t Count, Right?

Giggling about what an asshole he is.
You know that thing about how Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is the worst governor in the entire galaxy, and how he bankrupted Kansas with his fucked up tax cuts for the wealthy, but then Kansas voters reelected him because they’re idiots? And lately, he’s been doing everything he can to fuck the poors of his state right good (even though it costs the state millions), by making sure they don’t have equal access to education, and that they can only take $25 in EBT moneys from the ATM per day, paying an ATM fee each and every time? Well he’s been in quite a pickle because Kansas Ain’t Got No Money, and you can only suck off the teats of welfare queens so long, ’cause they ain’t got no money either, so he had to raise taxes, but not on the wealthy, oh no! The very thought of that makes him emotional. Read more on Gov. Sam Brownback Only Raised Taxes On Poors, So It Doesn’t Count, Right?…
  Hell Is For Children

Sundays With The Christianists: Here’s A Delightful Children’s Book About Hell

Just imagine 30 pages of this!
Hey, there, all you sinners, apostates, reprobates, fornicators, sodomites, adulterers, whoremongers, and occasional jaywalkers! Time for another visit to Fundamentalist Land, with an enchanting little book for kids called The Cage: A Young Children’s Guide to the Biblical Teaching on Hell, by one C. Matthew McMahon, Ph.D., Th.D. It’s published by an outfit called “Puritan Publications” out of Tennessee, and is aimed at helping your lovely little child understand that they are headed straight to the Eternal Fires of Hell, and will burn forever unless they are saved by the blood of Christ. We were initially intrigued to see a kid’s book titled The Cage, but extremely disappointed when it turned out to have nothing to do with the pilot episode of Star Trek. It might be the worst kids’ book we’ve ever seen, though it’s got some stiff competition. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Here’s A Delightful Children’s Book About Hell…
  The Dunning-Kruger Effect In Action

Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science

she's as enthusiastic as ever!
We’re sad to report that her very modest YouTube success may have spoiled Megan Fox — not the pouty, please-rescue-me gal from the Transformers movies, but the loopy Christianist homeschool mom whose bizarre “audit” of Chicago’s Field Museum became a viral must-see last fall. She did a follow-up visit to a zoo, where she explained that hunters have saved the wild animals of “Zambibia,” but while her eyes are just as crazy as ever, her schtick was already growing old. Now she’s back with a new multi-part exploration of Kentucky’s Creation Museum, and — would you believe this? — where she was awfully skeptical of all the “science” in the Field Museum, she finds the Creation Museum “pretty convincing.” Read more on Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science…
  Don't Know Much About A Science Book

Rick Santorum Such A Idiot He Can’t Even Deny Science Good

Can't go wrong with the classics
Poor ol’ Rick Santorum is already having a hard time keeping up with the Conservaherd in the Great 2016 Republican Coronation Scramble. Just look at his lame, thoroughly derivative attempt to ignore climate science during a Thursday event in Des Moines, Iowa: Read more on Rick Santorum Such A Idiot He Can’t Even Deny Science Good…
  Purity Baller

Tuesday With The Christianists: Sex Education To Keep You Purer Than Those Slutty Duggar Children

This image has not been altered in any way. Ick.
As a supplement to Yr Editrix’s Sunday column on the “counseling” recommended by the Duggar family’s homeschooling guru, we thought we’d take a look back at some other homeschooling wisdom regarding sex education for good little Christian children. Throughout all of it runs this weird notion of “purity”: sex is dirty and nasty and sinful except when it’s done by a man and a woman joined together by God, in which case it is a wonderful blessed thing that results in lots of Christian babies. No wonder fundamentalists are all obsessed with who’s putting their naughtybits where. And so we get creepy stuff like “purity balls,” where teen girls go to a prom with their dads and promise to stay virgins until they’re married, and they get all dressed up like Purity Tarts, and there is nothing creepy about it at all. Read more on Tuesday With The Christianists: Sex Education To Keep You Purer Than Those Slutty Duggar Children…
  nice time!

Nice Time: Stephen Colbert Saves South Carolina Schools From Jerks Who Run South Carolina

Thumbs up for education!
Is our South Carolina children learning? Stephen Colbert, South Carolina native, decided to do his part to make sure that “YES THEY IS,” by announcing that he, along with some of his buddy-pals from this big money foundation, would be chipping in $800,000 in order to fund every single grant requested by South Carolina teachers on the DonorsChoose.org website, which acts as a sort of Kickstarter for teachers all over the country, so that they can afford to give their kids the best book learnin’ they know how: Read more on Nice Time: Stephen Colbert Saves South Carolina Schools From Jerks Who Run South Carolina…
  Nice Time. OR IS IT?

Oh Great, Now Obama Wants Poor Kids To Read Books, Will This White House Ever Stop?

It's a book. For kids. Shut up.
Look what the Tyrant Obama is up to now! He’s got some half-cocked idea that poor kids should be able to read books, FOR FREE, instead of paying their fair share. So he’s announcing a program Thursday to give poor kids access to 10,000 e-books, which they can read on their Obamaphones, or other appropriate computers or tablets. The Obama administration seems to think it’s somehow a good thing to encourage disadvantaged kids to become better readers and do well in school: Read more on Oh Great, Now Obama Wants Poor Kids To Read Books, Will This White House Ever Stop?…
  Sounds like somebody got her school nurse certificate online

Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services

You pledge allegiance to Flag Cat right now!
It is a well-established fact that any American, for any reason, can refuse to say the Pledge Of Allegiance, as an exercise of their First Amendment rights. Perhaps they find it creepy, or aren’t too keen on the religious part of it (which, contrary to popular conservative myth, was only added in 1954, and not by Jesus himself). Perhaps they HATE AMERICA, but probably not. This was established by the Supreme Court in 1943, in a case called West Virginia Board Of Education v. Barnette, so it’s not exactly breaking news. But some people seem to have been playing hooky from reading their 1943 SCOTUS decisions, because a school nurse at Wilson Middle School in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, decided to unleash on, and then refuse to treat, an eighth grade student who chose to exercise right to remain seated when the daily Pledge Time happened. Read more on Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services…
  Such a big disappointment to Daddy

Rand Paul’s Terrible Horrible Totally F*cked Up Day

Libertarians don't fuck up, they FREEDOM up.
Today was supposed to be Rand Paul’s Big Day, the one where he was able to say “look at me, DAD, I’m a big kid now, gonna be the president you never got to be!” Instead, he ended up just being Ron Paul’s pud-pulling fuck-up kid again. Let us count the ways Rand Paul is already a failure at running for president. Read more on Rand Paul’s Terrible Horrible Totally F*cked Up Day…
  Common Core? Why Not An Exceptional American Core?

Ted Cruz Will ‘Repeal’ Common Core ‘Law’ When He Is ‘President’

Ted Cruz will do a faith-healing of America
In his amazing Liberty University speech where he announced that he’s running for President of Jesus, Ted Cruz promised to repeal every single word of an onerous federal law that oppresses America and is designed to promote socialism. Twice. First, he promised to repeal every single word of Obamacare on his “first day in office.” (Never mind that Sen. Cruz will actually spend January 20, 2017 watching someone else take the oath of office.) And then a little later in the speech, he also urged the well-scrubbed young people at Liberty University, Read more on Ted Cruz Will ‘Repeal’ Common Core ‘Law’ When He Is ‘President’…
  A Pair O' Pathetic Peripatetics

Tea Party Loon Dave Brat: Socrates Would Want Us To Slash School Funding For Poor Kids

Seriously, we're polytheists who hold slaves and like buggery. A Republican is going to hold us up as examples?
We’re not sure we’d go so far as to say that we miss Eric Cantor. But we sure are impressed with the intellectual firepower of Dave Brat, the Tea Party twit that replaced him. In a meeting of the House Education and Workforce Committee Wednesday, Brat explained why we shouldn’t get too het up about education policy and federal funding for public schools, and that is because the best will always just naturally rise to the top like they always have in history: Read more on Tea Party Loon Dave Brat: Socrates Would Want Us To Slash School Funding For Poor Kids…