Tag Archives: ed henry

  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Fans Of Killer Cops Can Breathe Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?

Back away, little pony. These are not nice people.
Time for another roundup of the dumbest of the worst of the unfathomably stupid! We scrape the mishegas off our browser tabs, puree it into a frothy mess, and serve it up to you with a warning to not overdo it on the brain bleach. Proceed with caution and gin. Read more on Derp Roundup: Fans Of Killer Cops Can Breathe Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?…
  And Now Benghazi Is No Longer An Issue

House Benghazi Report Finds No Conspiracies, Gets No Love From Fox

Still missing an H
Photo by Beth Ethier, from last year’s Obama Arrest Party In a classic Friday news dump – the favored method for releasing information when you hope the fewest people will notice — the House Intelligence Committee released the results of its Great Big Benghazi Inquiry yesterday afternoon, and boy oh boy does it have some devastating news for the Incompetent Tyrant Obama: He’s still a tyrant, because executive orders, but OK, maybe, um, there wasn’t actually anything fishy going on at the diplomatic compound in Libya. Let’s just go with the AP’s lede, which clarifies exactly why this is terrible news for wingnuts (or would be, were they not impermeable to facts): Read more on House Benghazi Report Finds No Conspiracies, Gets No Love From Fox…
  like moses said in egyptland

Charles Krauthammer To Bill O’Reilly: Let Obama Golf

Perhaps you were on the Internet lately while the White House Correspondents Association worked itself into a frenzied moan of TRANZPARENCEEEEEEEEY about the truly important issue of the day: that dastardly Nobumer wouldn’t let them take pictures of his golf round with Tiger Woods. Perhaps this made you as tired as it did us, and you turned off the puter and went to bed instead, where you watched 54 movies and five 30 Rock reruns you’d already seen seven times before, caught up with Girls and Enlightened, and howled with laughter as you watched Matthew Crawley DIE. (Spoiler alert.) Then you went back to your computer, and they were STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT. Well Charles Krauthammer is sick of this nonsense. If Nobumer wants to play golf with Tiger Woods, dammit, then LET HIS PEOPLE GO! Read more on Charles Krauthammer To Bill O’Reilly: Let Obama Golf…
  maybe

Ed Henry Asks The Dumbest Question in American History

Fox News White House Correspondent Ed Henry has already written the worst article in American history, so why not throw the dumbest question in American history onto his resume as well? THE BACKGROUND: There has been all sorts of Hot Buzz (John McCain has been babbling during one of his Ambien trips) about whether Joe Biden will be dropped from the ticket after saying the words “chains.” So here’s what Ed Henry asked Jay Carney at Thursday’s White House press conference: “Let’s just settle it, once and for all, all of this speculation — this is the ticket, Obama/Biden?” Read more on Ed Henry Asks The Dumbest Question in American History…
  a nation's questions get answers

Reporters To Obama: War War War War War War Now War?

Reporters at today’s White House press conference opened their dialogue with the president on a familiar topic: War: When are we having it, and can we have it now. WAR. Also, why don’t you ever visit Israel you horrible anti-Semite? And what about war? Meanwhile, Fox News’ Ed Henry, who one time wrote the worst article in American history, wanted to know about war war war war war… perhaps you understand how the opening of this press conference went, yes? Well Obama simply “pivoted” to calling Mitt Romney a loser in response, so everything worked out. Read more on Reporters To Obama: War War War War War War Now War?…
  cannibalism

Media Reporting About Own Fights Over Photo of Obama Drinking Beer

The ever-shrinking Washington Post has a little piece of essential journalism about some inane “reporters versus a bunch of slobs” slapfight happening, where else, on Twitter, over a White House photo of President Obama drinking a beer with a young Marine who received the Medal of Honor. Here is your BREAKING NEWS timeline of this tragic story: several White House journalists tweeted the photo because that’s one of those “easy ones,” then a number of  Twitter lunatics spent actual moments of their brief, earthly lives criticizing the photo (THE MARINES ARE OWNED BY JESUS AND THE REPUBLICANS, OBAMA, NICE TRY), the reporters whined back about Twitter being full of obnoxious idiots, and then, this the only terrible part, the Washington Post declared this a newsworthy “debate” in a headline about this banal nonsense. Read more on Media Reporting About Own Fights Over Photo of Obama Drinking Beer…
  icky

Charlie Crist Admits He Is Confused About His Stance On Gay Marriage

Charlie Crist is having a lot of problems lately with this whole idea of “being forced to take positions on issues.” It is hard to do such things when you want to occupy an invisible center of the political spectrum that does not exist when everyone is dissolving into two camps that just throw poop at each other. And rightly so, as who wants to get hit with poop without anyone to root for? But when it comes to gay marriage, that is apparently very close to Charlie Crist’s heart, because even when he decides he has to be against it, he sounds very confused. Read more on Charlie Crist Admits He Is Confused About His Stance On Gay Marriage…
  journalistic negligence

White House Transcriptionists Beg For Trade Group Leadership Role

The race for who will rule the captured souls of the White House Correspondents’ Association has begun, and it is almost exactly like regular politics. Ballots aren’t due until July 15, but WHCA reporters are whispering these actual things to each other, at work, right now: “My expectation was that I would be running unopposed” and “The basic issue for me is access” and “I’m charming.” Read more on White House Transcriptionists Beg For Trade Group Leadership Role…
  america's greatest white house correspondents

CNN’s Ed Henry Feels So Friggin’ Awesome Right Now

OMG how cool are Ed Henry’s parents at CNN! They so signed his permission slip for the NYSE floor field trip, where all the money is! SO JEALOUS. He probably met so many awesome brokers and stuff and got their autographs. OMG HE MET JIM MAGUIRE! Seriously? Seriously? We have his rookie card, BUT ONLY TEN OF THEM! [Twitpic via Instaputz] Read more on CNN’s Ed Henry Feels So Friggin’ Awesome Right Now…
  jobs that get harder by the day

White House Press Briefings Now Just Show Whatever’s On The Teevee

CNN’s beloved Ed Henry shares this picture from today’s White House Press Briefing, where everyone is just watching teevee. Those lazy slugs! It’s a beautiful day outside, and everyone should go play on Sasha and Malia’s swing set. CORRECTION: It’s a beautiful day outside, and everyone should go play Xbox on Sasha and Malia’s swing set. (Is it actually a beautiful day? We just read about it on the Internet.) [TwitPic] Read more on White House Press Briefings Now Just Show Whatever’s On The Teevee…
  television shows

TIME TO IGNORE OUR IMPORTANT BANKRUPT NEWSPAPERS AGAIN: Symbolism: “The White House announced that President Obama will hold a primetime news conference at 8:00 pm ET on Wednesday — his 100th day as president.” Boy howdy, Ed Henry’ll have to pull a real firecracker out of his ass to top the last one. [First Read] Read more on …
  america's greatest journalist

Ed Henry ‘Makes News’ Again

It looks like CNN’s Ed Henry — who only eight days ago wrote The Worst Article In American History — is lining up some devastating “audibles” for his next opportunity to troll Barack Obama. “Oklahoma!” — does… DOES THE QUEEN EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS? [Twitter] Read more on Ed Henry ‘Makes News’ Again…
  embarrassments

CNN’s Ed Henry Writes Worst Article In American History

Earlier today we mentioned CNN White House correspondent Ed Henry’s performance at the press conference last night, and how he and his fellow busybodies were rapidly spinning and spinning and spinning to make it appear as though he didn’t look like a goober when Obama called him a twat. In the latest effort, Henry has written an exclusive article for CNN.com called, “What really happened with Obama.” It is approximately 5,000 words and includes sports metaphors, heavy doses of edge-of-your-seat drama, tricks o’ the trade, and maybe a little bit of SELF-SATISFACTION. To reiterate our headline, it is the worst article in American history, at least since yesterday when K-Lo wrote something funny about Notre Dame and abortions. Read more on CNN’s Ed Henry Writes Worst Article In American History…
 

Armed Redneck Lady Threatens Danish Journalist Outside Bush’s Ranch

President George W. Bush continued to waste his last year in office Saturday, as he hosted a reception for Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen at his Crawford ranch. As they were eating lunch and discussing the… tense?… relations between Denmark and the United States, some batshit redneck lady was threatening to shoot Danish journalists for trespassing across the street. Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen was not harmed in the incident. Read more on Armed Redneck Lady Threatens Danish Journalist Outside Bush’s Ranch…
 

Famous Person Spotted in Washington

Ed Henry was just hanging out by the White House, as is his custom, when he noticed “a group of Secret Service agents” hassling a black man. Naturally, Ed “didn’t think too much of it.” That happens all the time! But it turned out to be a famous black man. Dave Chappelle, popular comedian! Read more on Famous Person Spotted in Washington…
 

Team Party Crash: National Press Foundation Awards Dinner

The guy on the left is like 45 seconds away from a glassing. (Photo courtesy Liz Gorman) Last night found Wonkette dressed to kill at the Hilton Washington Hotel for the 23rd-annual National Press Foundation awards dinner, where we mingled with the ink-stained wretches (and their TV peers, who looked a bit more comfortable in formal wear) and pretended to be real-life journalists. For a recap of the night’s big name guests, speeches, and awardees, you’ll probably want to go here or here. For a bunch of pictures of journalists looking awkward, you’ve come to the right place! We snuck in Wonkette photographer Liz Gorman (without telling our host or getting her a ticket, natch) to capture Washington’s best, brightest, and most adept at scoring free dinners in their unnatural habitat. Full gallery and heavily embellished recollections after the jump! Read more on Team Party Crash: National Press Foundation Awards Dinner…
 

Gossip Roundup: Novak Everywhere, Bush ‘Over There’

• Names & Faces: Novak on Carville: “I would hope he was just trying to be funny and I took it the wrong way.” [WP] • Rush & Molloy: More Novak on Carville: “I thought that was an unacceptable questioning of my integrity. I overreacted.” [NYDN] • Inside Politics: Bush reportedly curious about FX’s “Over There.”. . . McGreevey negotiating with Regan Books for a mid-six figure deal for his memoir. [WT] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Novak Everywhere, Bush ‘Over There’…
 

BREAKING: Novak Takes His Lack of Balls and Goes Home

Screenshot of the Douchebag Diva doing his thing. Clips, again, is here. Storm begins with the dropping of the barnyard epithet at minute 3:07. UPDATE: Media Matters also has the clip. UPDATE: Moved the rough transcript after the jump. Off topic but we can’t resist wondering about this comment from Novak: a lot of my trouble in the world is they’ve doctored my makeup and the colorrized me in a lot of newspapers on my picture. i sympathize with her. Bob Novak’s image problems come from people Photoshopping him? Really? Not from the whole “ratting out my sources and shilling for the administration” thing? Really? UPDATE: Does this mean that MSNBC will give Novak his own show? UPDATE: Yet another place to see the video. Read more on BREAKING: Novak Takes His Lack of Balls and Goes Home…
 

BREAKING: Novak No-Show

Bob Novak apparently just walked off the CNN stage, yelling “This is bullshit!” Drudge’s account says that it’s because host Ed Henry was going to ask about the Plame investigation, but emailers say the current topic was — of all things — Katherine Harris’s make-up: Read more on BREAKING: Novak No-Show…