* Heard on the Hill: Pelosi to do Leno… Politicians sending fund raiser invites disguised as Valentines… Phil Gingrey shaved his mustache because he’s going gray. []
* Reliable Source: Teri Hatcher and George H. W. Bush have developed a bizarre and unhealthy relationship. Baking cookies! Riding Segways! It’s all very sad. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Y&N call up a couple of Joe Biden’s imaginary friends in Long Island. They claim never to have heard of the man… Chris Heinz, John Kerry’s step-son, went to two strip clubs during his bachelor party last week… Mary Bono: Bad at predicting the Grammys. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Dana Rohrbacher blamed global warming on “dinosaur flatulence.” [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Might Helen Thomas have to sit in the back at White House briefings? … Jack Quinn and Ed Gillespie are partners, but not partner partners. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: David Sirota, denied a Capitol press pass, becomes a Bernie Sanders “intern.” [WP]

• Heard on the Hill: Because the whole politics thing is an elaborate farce, Terry McAuliffe and Ed Gillespie, former heads of the DNC and RNC, respectively, are bestest buds and wrote their probably-identical books at the same time… “Sen. Conrad Burns (R-Mont.) flew first class to Washington, D.C., on Monday while his wife was stuck back in coach.” [Roll Call]
• Yeas and Nays: A book is being published of drawings by presidents, leading to the inevitable “Republicans are better doodlers” joke. Ronald Reagan, our first six-year-old president, repeatedly drew himself as a cowboy… Former Senator Toe-Suckin’ Bob Packwood was out a-lobbying the Senate yesterday, rode the senators-only elevator. [Examiner]
• Under the Dome: Ed Gillespie (again) and Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) will perform a routine together at the DC’s Funniest Celebrity contest… House Majority Leader John Boehner forgot Deborah Pryce’s new coinage for kangaroo courts: “Terrorist tribunals.” … Joe Lieberman to Michael Chertoff: “I prefer to think of you not as a member of the peanut gallery, but as Buffalo Bob.” Chertoff: WTF are you talking about, old man? [The Hill]
• Rush and Molloy: Bill Clinton is hosting a big-ass conference to bring about world peace or something, Laura Bush is Wednesday’s “guest of honor.” Also, Billy Crystal did his hacky Catskills routine at Bill’s birthday party in Toronto for some reason. [NYDN]

The RNC just hosted a conservative conference call to discuss Democrat attacks against Samuel Alito. First, the stuff most of you don

• Administration, citing “reasons of practicality and politics,” decided not to intervene early on with federal response to Katrina. Senior administration official: “Can you imagine how it would have been perceived if a president of the United States of one party had pre-emptively taken from the female governor of another party the command and control of her forces, unless the security situation made it completely clear that she was unable to effectively execute her command authority and that lawlessness was the inevitable result?” [NYT]
• Congress readily approves spending for Katrina relief efforts including $51.8b package; deficit likely to hit new record. [WP, WSJ, NYT, USAT]
• Democratic senators and strategists “are weighing whether to save their ammunition for the next nominee, who would succeed retiring Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, often the swing vote on social issues.” [NYT]
• Top FEMA officials lack experience; many were patronage appointments. [WP, LAT]
• Leadership and compassion from Bush is less visible now than after 9/11; approval rating is down to 40% in Pew poll and 42% in Gallup poll think Bush’s response to Katrina was bad or terrible. [NYT, USAT]
• Democrats do not approve of Katrina inquiry proposed by Republicans. [WP, NYT]
• Cheney tours Gulf Coast: “There’s no question there were problems with respect to the evacuation in New Orleans. We’ve gotten around that problem now, and I think everyone’s focused on the future.” [NYT]

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