With every Republican short of Roberta McCain endorsing Barack Obama, it only makes sense that somebody would try to dig up a Democrat voting for McCain (NO LIEBERMAN DOES NOT COUNT). And here it is, your token Democrat Wendy Button, writing in Evelyn Waugh’s Weblog Compendium of Critical Musings about how the Democratic party has abandoned her. She worked for John Edwards — a big fat libtard liberal with fancy ideas about how government should help people, and poor people shouldn’t be poor — and now, after the media made fun of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton, she will be voting for John McCain, because he has promised not to raise rich people’s taxes. Huh? On a side note, if this gal can get a job writing for three major Democratic presidential candidates, your Wonkette editors should get the fucking Nobel Prize for literature. [The Daily Beast]

Well here is your updated Dow Jones thing, about which every “person on the Internet” today has been freaking. It went down like 350 points after a far greater initial plunge. This has baffled many, many people today, that this stock index fell triple-digits on a day when every remaining bank on Earth basically failed. MORE »

Poor George Bush, he has had to Address the Nation two days in a row, that is how awful this financial crisis has gotten. He is walking out onto his nice patio surrounded by all the people who John McCain will fire once he’s president: the chairman of the SEC, our old pal Henry Paulson, and Ben Bernanke. Let’s hear how bad our individual tax bills will be once we’ve socialized every large business in the US. Will we have to eat our housepets? Will there be condiments still? MORE »

Hmm, here is an interesting video clip sent to us by a Wonkette New Hampshire Primary Operative. It shows John McCain last November talking with some nice New Hampshire newspaper editors about economic things and good christ, maybe everything he said was rubbish, but this was possibly the first time we saw him looking not grumpy or confused or ghoulish in… ever. The six-minute segment is sort of interminable for those of you watching at work so here is a sad/lovely quote: MORE »

Oh hey look it’s our president, Henry Paulson, finally telling America what he’s going to do to make sure everyone isn’t so poor anymore. We are a little late to the game here since he started talking a few minutes ago but meh, what the hell, let’s give this a look. MORE »

Here is that ad we talked about in the Daily Briefing! The best part is it rhymes at the end. Also, this is one of them ads released so that MEDIA ELITES will talk them up, so give yourself a pat on the back, you are now part of the media elite that Normal Americans despise even more than the regular elite. [Ben Smith]

Here’s a Fun new Obama ad that SLAMS John McCain for NOT GETTING THE ECONOMETRICS. This is offfensive — who is this horrible yacht-rocker changing the lyrics of a Sam Cooke song? This is just so racist against George W. Bush. [YouTube, Raw Story]

How will we survive the lean economy if there’s no more bacon? [Time] MORE »

On-again, off-again douchebag New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman was pleasantly trenchant in his column on the “gas tax holiday” yesterday, in which he proved in eight or nine different ways why John McCain is a traitor for proposing this. A CNN anchor brought up Friedman’s column with McCain today, and McCain comically called Friedman a gay New York rich liberal pinko elitist. And then he felt bad and said he loves Thomas Friedman. What gives? We’re hearing that his campaign advisers forgot to give him his strawberry cream cheese-coated “Remembrall” this morning. MORE »

John McCain, who is not as rich as the Clintons, because he does not have Douglas Band charging starlets’ creepy boyfriends like Raffaello Follieri to be their friends (only later to have a press spokesman throw them under the boss when the WSJ calls) and because he does not help people get Kazakh uranium mining rights in exchange for donations to his foundation, wants to get in good with the riches. His fiscal solutions for America? Bankrupt the Treasury and install a winning trickle-down series of tax breaks for the rich and the corporate city-states. Though it is totally laughable and stupid, it is actually still a much more coherent plan than the ones by his left-wing rivals, who actually promise stuff like that every poor person will have a “green-collar job” retrofitting all of America’s schools, all at the same time. [Washington Post]

Hillary Clinton is afraid that Americans are going to start prancing around in knee socks and filming radioactive giant lizard-based horror films, now that we are sinking into a “Japanese-style malaise.” But these terrible tragedies can be avoided if we resort to crazy nanny state policies like having the Federal Housing Administration purchase underwater mortgages. MORE »