Wonkette

Here’s a Fun new Obama ad that SLAMS John McCain for NOT GETTING THE ECONOMETRICS. This is offfensive — who is this horrible yacht-rocker changing the lyrics of a Sam Cooke song? This is just so racist against George W. Bush. [YouTube, Raw Story]

How will we survive the lean economy if there’s no more bacon? [Time] MORE »

On-again, off-again douchebag New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman was pleasantly trenchant in his column on the “gas tax holiday” yesterday, in which he proved in eight or nine different ways why John McCain is a traitor for proposing this. A CNN anchor brought up Friedman’s column with McCain today, and McCain comically called Friedman a gay New York rich liberal pinko elitist. And then he felt bad and said he loves Thomas Friedman. What gives? We’re hearing that his campaign advisers forgot to give him his strawberry cream cheese-coated “Remembrall” this morning. MORE »

John McCain, who is not as rich as the Clintons, because he does not have Douglas Band charging starlets’ creepy boyfriends like Raffaello Follieri to be their friends (only later to have a press spokesman throw them under the boss when the WSJ calls) and because he does not help people get Kazakh uranium mining rights in exchange for donations to his foundation, wants to get in good with the riches. His fiscal solutions for America? Bankrupt the Treasury and install a winning trickle-down series of tax breaks for the rich and the corporate city-states. Though it is totally laughable and stupid, it is actually still a much more coherent plan than the ones by his left-wing rivals, who actually promise stuff like that every poor person will have a “green-collar job” retrofitting all of America’s schools, all at the same time. [Washington Post]

Hillary Clinton is afraid that Americans are going to start prancing around in knee socks and filming radioactive giant lizard-based horror films, now that we are sinking into a “Japanese-style malaise.” But these terrible tragedies can be avoided if we resort to crazy nanny state policies like having the Federal Housing Administration purchase underwater mortgages. MORE »

Ron “Gold Standard” Paul’s 19th Century economic policies would lead to a stronger dollar. Or, uh, hyperinflation, if the government’s gold-hoarding didn’t go well. [CurrencyTrading.net]

* Last vestiges of notoriety not enough for John Edwards to cut the line for Playstation 3 at a North Carolina Wal-Mart. [Outside the Beltway]
* Jim Webb bored of talking about Iraq war, turns attention to class war. [Winds of Change]
* Republican Congressman blames election losses on “rednecks.” [Hotline on Call]
* Control of America’s population growth has been handed to “a fucking insane person.” [Feministing]
* Tonight’s South Park episode lampoons newspaper critic by portraying him as a newspaper employee. [Buzz Machine]
* Internet awash in unanimous praise for Milton Friedman, almost. [Cryptogon]

• Bush began final campaign trip in Montana, and will travel to other historically Republican strongholds that are now under threat. [WP, NYT]

• Campaigns to end with ad blitz that “will boost spending on political and issue advertising past $2 billion in this campaign, or $400 million more than in the 2004 presidential campaign.” [WP]
• U.S. Government website releases Iraqi nuclear “cookbook.” Post is titled, “BREAKING! Must Credit Saddam!” [NYT]
• Conservative Christian leader Ted Haggard resigns amid allegations of whoring, gaying. [WP]
• A cost/benefit analysis of raising minimum wage shows it does cost business owners, does benefit workers. [WSJ]
• Economist bloggers believe “Democrats are better for growth than Republicans.” [WSJ]
• Report by House Ethics Committee on Pagefuckergate cover-up to be released to an apathetic post election world. [WP]
• Latest Military authorization bill eliminates the, “Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction,” as the reconstruction no longer needs inspecting, obv. [NYT]
• New web-based tool showing Metro train arrival times aims to allow passengers an extra few minutes to take care of blowjobs before heading to the station. [WP]

• A cabin in Montana and a copy of Newsweek is all you need to forget this world forever. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• Economics wonks: “9-11 was not that big an event.” DOES THEIR CONTRARIANISM KNOW NO BOUNDS? [Freakonomics]
• The Rude One pens his power ballad at ground zero, finds roses still thorny. [Rude Pundit]
• Freaks don’t just come out at night, they are also regular attendees of disaster anniversaries. [Little Green Footballs]
• White House maintaining policy of admitting to things 18 months after The New Yorker finds them out. [The Cool Honey]
• Bill Richardson eats cheetah steaks for breakfast just because it’s so baller. [The Corsair]
• Abu Ghraib prisoners now torturing selves over complaining about American torture, which apparently isn’t close to Iraqi torture. [Telegraph]

• CBS News reports, “George Bush spends 58% of US Budget on Whiskey and some Bling for his hommies.” [CBS News]

• Proving that August has been “racism month” in politics for decades, it was this day in 1957 that Strom Thurmond ended his 24 hour filibuster of the civil rights bill. [This Day In Mythstory]
• US uses foreign aid as bribe money to countries on the UN Security Council in exchange for pro-war votes, probably. Maybe. Possibly. [Freakonomics]
• Cenus report on poverty and income released today, but administration doesn’t want you to know that everyone is poorer, unless they’re not. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• McCain bored of dry-humping Bush, headed to South Carolina to make love, sweet love. [Pandagon]
• Now you know about secret holds, and knowing is half the battle. [TPMmuckraker]