Tag Archives: economics

  He's Got Some Balls

Sorry, Wisconsin, Gov. Walker Just Blew Your Last $400 Million On A Sportsball Arena

The face that cut a thousand jobs
Here’s a story to do your Fiscal Conservative heart good: Wisconsin governor and super government-spending-cutter Scott Walker signed legislation Wednesday committing the state to helping the Milwaukee Bucks build a fabulous new stadium for their playing of Sportsball. Don’t worry, though, because the team owners will chip in half of the stadium’s projected costs, currently $500 million. But through the magic of interest payments, the total cost to taxpayers is likely to be closer to $400 million. And even though Walker has been slashing budgets for unnecessary government spending like universities and rural health care, Walker insists that this handout to a bunch of millionaires is a terrific “investment” for the state, since the stadium will allegedly return $3 to the economy for every $1 spent on the thing. Read more on Sorry, Wisconsin, Gov. Walker Just Blew Your Last $400 Million On A Sportsball Arena…
  Ragged Dickhead

Rand Paul Says Hard Work And Tax Cuts Will Make Everyone Rich, Especially The Rich

And yet many who make the effort to wear pants make less money
On “Fox News Sunday” (on Fox News, Sunday), Rand Paul offered some inspiring thoughts on how the economy really works, based purely on the theories of Ayn Rand plus multiple massive bong hits: Tax rates have nothing to do with who gets wealthy in America. Rather, wealth is simply an indicator of how good you are at doing capitalism to other people. Paul rejected the idea that economic policy has any effect on who wins and who loses in the economy, which will certainly come as news to the army of corporate lobbyists who’ve been writing our great nation’s tax code since the Reagan era. Read more on Rand Paul Says Hard Work And Tax Cuts Will Make Everyone Rich, Especially The Rich…
  The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

Read Sam Brownback’s Lips: Whoops, We Raised Kansas’s Taxes

Don't mind me, I'm just being a complete asshole.
The last redoubt of conservative economists has always been the complaint that their radical, free-market ideas have never been tried before. If conservative ideas have never been put to the test, the argument goes, then how can you say they don’t work, you’re not even being fair! Sadly for conservative economists and their fedora-clad fanboys, Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback has, in fact, put low-tax, low-service conservatism to the test, and it didn’t work out quite the way he thought it would. Loosen up those cackling muscles, Wonketeers, because this one’s good. Read more on Read Sam Brownback’s Lips: Whoops, We Raised Kansas’s Taxes…
  the power of aqua buddha compels you

Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy

And yet many who make the effort to wear pants make less money
Like Jesus, we all have a cross to bear, and our particular cross is shaped like Sen. Rand Paul (R-Headdesk), a man so dumb that we are amazed he is allowed out of his house without wearing a helmet and a mouth guard. And when he joins forces with Judge Andrew Napolitano, the Confederate apologist prone to criticizing President Lincoln for forcing an end to slavery when the judge insists the “peculiar institution” would have eventually, someday, probably, likely died out on its own? The tsunami of dumb unleashed on the public could make Idiocracy look like the Oxford classroom scenes in Chariots of Fire. Read more on Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy…
  How To Pope

Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist

In the strictest search result for “socialism” sense of the word, Pope Francis is not a socialist because he has not (to our knowledge) ever argued for “[a] society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government”. But the definition of “socialism” is changing. Socialism is now understood by a lot of people to mean “the government helping people, and sometimes taxes,” because that is how literally every conservative politician and commentator uses the word. So by that definition, Pope Francis’s message to a UN meeting in Rome was so, so socialist: “In the case of global political and economic organization, much more needs to be achieved, since an important part of humanity does not share in the benefits of progress and is in fact relegated to the status of second-class citizens,” Francis said. Read more on Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist…
  jane stop this crazy thing

U.S. Chamber Of Commerce Suddenly Very Worried The Tea Party Lunacy They Fostered Might Shut Down Government

It looks like the U.S. Chamber of Commerce did not get Ted Cruz’s memo that “President” Obama is actually the one shutting down the government, because POLITICO is reporting that the Chamber has “rallied nearly 240 groups to sign a letter Friday afternoon pushing Congress to avoid a government shutdown and to move fast to raise the debt ceiling.” Now wait just a minute, we thought it was a known known that when the government spends money, that money is poison and if a Job Creator touches it, America dies, and literally the only way that the government can help the economy is to melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. And we thought the Chamber hated Obamacare! Politics, what is up, why are you so confusing? Could it really be true that lurching from one manufactured crisis to another while randomly (and not-so-randomly) threatening to cause another recession unless the President agrees to cut off his own dick is actually worse for businesses than a plan to provide affordable insurance for people? Read more on U.S. Chamber Of Commerce Suddenly Very Worried The Tea Party Lunacy They Fostered Might Shut Down Government…
  oh for crist's sake

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Discovers True Cause Of 2008 Recession: Previous Florida Gov. Charlie Crist

America’s Time-Travel and Causality Crisis grew worse last week as Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Azkaban) blamed the 2008 recession on his predecessor and likely opponent in 2014, former Gov. Charlie Crist, who served from 2007 to 2011: “We never should have had that downturn,” Scott told the Sayfie Review Florida Leaders Summit in Orlando, suggesting that Florida’s economic troubles in the midst of the global recession that spiraled out of control in 2008 after the fall of the nation’s largest investment banks was the fault of his predecessor, former Gov. Charlie Crist. It was not immediately clear whether Scott believed that Crist actually caused the banking crisis and collapse in mortgage-based securities that led to the recession, or if he held Crist responsible for failing to use powerful magic to prevent Florida from being affected by the worldwide economic decline. Read more on Florida Gov. Rick Scott Discovers True Cause Of 2008 Recession: Previous Florida Gov. Charlie Crist…
  Stupid Like A Fox

Sorbonne-Trained Economist Very Upset That Tesla Hasn’t Crashed Yet

Veronique de Rugy is a Doctrix of The Economy, says the Sorbonne, which is weird because the impression yr Wonkette gets from reading her column is that she learned everything she knows about economics from a cardboard cutout of Ron Paul’s left nut. Witness her latest on the ever-comical National Review Online’s The Corner, in which she argues that Tesla is great and all, but the really important thing is that Tesla is terrible. Or rather, to be fair, the idea of Tesla is terrible. It’s the old joke: It works in practice, but does it work in theory? Actually, to be really fair (because this stuff is important) she argues that “the government shouldn’t be in the business of lending money to private companies” because “most of the money goes to companies that could have gotten capital on their own,” and some stuff about “distortions” which are awesome when a guitar is doing them, but bad for the economy. Yr Wonkette learned everything we know about economics from the internet, but we feel pretty confident that we can eviscerate these are-you-even-trying crusts of hoary free-market dogma quite convincingly! Read more on Sorbonne-Trained Economist Very Upset That Tesla Hasn’t Crashed Yet…
  all this talk of stimulus will lead to unnatural acts

What Are We Blaming On the Gays Today?

Turtle-brained fuckwit Niall Ferguson, an economic historian at Harvard and right-wing mouthpiece, has a novel new take on why Keynesian economic theory is garbage. Since the world recently learned that the destructive austerity policies major countries keep adopting came from two other Harvard professors who couldn’t work an Excel spreadsheet, Ferguson took the stage at a conference and countered with an argument that amounted to: “John Maynard Keynes was a huge fag.” Damn gays! First they ruined marriage for all of us by wanting to get married, and now we find out they want to take out the entire world economy with unrestrained stimulus spending. Is there no end to the gays’ treachery? Ferguson has strong supporting evidence for his thesis, of course: Read more on What Are We Blaming On the Gays Today?…
  fuck it we'll do it live!

Retroactively Liveblooging The Paul Krugman-Joe Scarborough Steel Cage Death Match Of Death

It was a Meltdown in Metropolis, a Rumble in the Concrete Jungle on Monday night when Charlie Rose hosted Paul Krugman and Joe Scarborough for a battle royale for the crown of World’s Greatest Economics Expert Guy! Who would win? Would it be the avuncular and learned Dr. Krugman, an Ivy League professor who holds an actual Nobel Prize for Economics, or would it be the failed Congressman from America’s Dingus who most people know these days as “that guy on morning TV whose facial expression makes him look like nothing so much as an angry pit bull that was just neutered”? Your Wonket could not watch this death match live last night, so we will retroactively live-bloog it this afternoon because we woke up feeling dangerously optimistic about the world. Read more on Retroactively Liveblooging The Paul Krugman-Joe Scarborough Steel Cage Death Match Of Death…
  facts are just cleverly disguised lies

GOP Senators Have Had Quite Enough Of Your ‘Research’ And ‘Economics’

Are you tired of petty partisanship, of red/blue bickering, of the enthusiastic embrace of blatant falsehoods generated for political gain? Well you can cross another enemy off the list, because Senate Republicans have finally stood up to the reprehensible grandstanding of … the Library of Congress. Yes, dear citizens! The library’s reign of terror is over! No more will they plague our government with “reports” of “findings,” especially when their “research” — if you can call it that — dismantles the entire economic ethos of half of the American political spectrum. Read more on GOP Senators Have Had Quite Enough Of Your ‘Research’ And ‘Economics’…
  When Life Gives you Lemons Burn Life's House Down

Fox & Friends: Why Is History’s Greatest Monster Barack Obama Picking On These Little Girls?

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Ever on the cutting edge of political thought, Fox & Friends has a simple, commonsense reply to Pres. Obama’s insane notion that a modern economy depends on a combination of public and private investment: Oh, yeah? Mr. Big Government? What about little kids’ lemonade stands, which are a perfect metaphor for capitalism? Here is Brian Kilmeade interviewing two adorable little girls, Clara and Eliza Sutton, aged 7 and 4, who have clearly not been prepped at all by their Fox-viewing parents. Asked to “tell us about your lemonade business,” Clara replies, “Well, our lemonade is actually homemade but I can’t tell you our recipe because it’s proprietary…the investors actually sign a confidentiality agreement.” Proprietary ingredients, huh? Is it people? We bet it is people. Read more on Fox & Friends: Why Is History’s Greatest Monster Barack Obama Picking On These Little Girls?…
  great zombies of our time

Rude Failure Larry Summers Is A Candidate For Another Top Job

Let’s go through the last 15-20 years of perfect, brilliant top economist Larry Summers’ career: He joined Robert Rubin and Alan Greenspan in their successful attempt to tear down long-standing financial regulations and keep derivatives totally unmonitored as a Treasury official and then secretary during the Clinton administration, directly leading to the 2008 financial collapse; he became President of Harvard, where he was a total failure who was eventually kicked out; he made $20+ million giving bad advice and speeches to gullible financial firms; he returned to government to head President Obama’s economic team, where he was overbearing, crude to his colleagues, and incorrect about the depth and severity of the Great Recession; and then he went back to his plum sinecure at Harvard, where everyone hopes he will stay, quietly, forever. But oh, what’s that, the World Bank is in need of a new president? And who is at the top of the list? Read more on Rude Failure Larry Summers Is A Candidate For Another Top Job…
  brilliant just brilliant

Lead GOP Candidate’s Economic Plan Stolen From A Computer Game

Herman Cain — still currently topping the presidential polls of GOP voters — and his half-assed economic platform of “9% income tax, 9% corporate tax and 9% sales tax” is the teatard-brained epitome of a candidate who thinks the 140-character limit on Twitter also applies to policy formulation. But mysteriously, this has not stopped the nation’s fevered political newz typists from hashing out an earnest attempt to parse and analyze his numbskull proposal, instead of just laughing at it. Congratulations, you have all put more effort into thinking about Cain’s platform than he did! Why say that? Because an important exposé from the child-slave-journalists at the Huffington Post reveals that all Herman Cain probably did was bother to steal the fictional 9-9-9 tax structure written by the programmers of computer game SimCity 4.  Read more on Lead GOP Candidate’s Economic Plan Stolen From A Computer Game…
  food stamps were the devil's idea

Survey: 20% of Americans Believe God Won’t Run America While Gov’t Exists

A new Baylor Religion Survey shows that one in five Americans wants to dismantle the government and its heathen sets of economic regulations because this segment of politically conservative folks, the religious nutters, believes that the almighty old white God dude gets into a snit and refuses to do His job running the economy effectively if there are actual human beings (i.e. government) standing in the way tweaking the controls. God hates competition, pretty ironically! “They say the invisible hand of the free market is really God at work,” said survey co-author Paul Froese. Basically, think of the economy as “sex” and government regulations as “a condom,” which makes a socialist public safety net the religious equivalent of an ongoing abortion.  Read more on Survey: 20% of Americans Believe God Won’t Run America While Gov’t Exists…
  rent is too damn high

Household Income Short of $68K? Welcome To the New Poverty

Have you been laboring under the delusion that you’re still part of the tiny, rapidly vanishing Middle Class? Happy April Fools Day! A new study proves that a family of four needs $67,920 a year (pre-tax) to survive in America. And that’s basic: no vacations, no fancy dinners, no wine tastings, no fun-box deliveries from Amazon or Zappos or whatever every couple of months to break up the crushing monotony of work and eventual death. You will, however, spend an average of $12,000 a year on car insurance and payments on your crappy mid-sized sedan, because we don’t have much in the way of public transportation in this country. And you’ll spend another $12,000 a year on child care, because we don’t like to provide socialism in these parts, ha ha. Freedom isn’t free, after all. Read more on Household Income Short of $68K? Welcome To the New Poverty…