Have you heard of Belgium? It’s apparently a little country somewhere in Europe. Belgium used to own Africa and invented chocolate and/or french fries and has problems with UFOs and pedophiles. You may have even unwittingly visited Belgium, if you’re a member of the European Union government or maybe traveled from England to “the continent” by boat in the days before the Chunnel train. To this day, some French people travel through Belgium by train on their way to get their heroin in Amsterdam. MORE »

We’re out of town at the moment and the stolen internet connection is really spotty so we think we might just post Larry Crag-related quicklinks all damn day long. Here, someone has put his business card on eBay. [eBay]

* What gets Rudy Giuliani to sleep at night? A little bit of Ambien and a whole lot of jerking off to his 9/11 scrapbook. [LGF]
* The “Sheehan-Reid-Obama-Clinton cult” is the really dangerous one, other cults just front. [The Corner]
* Justice Department under Clinton had a gulag for Republicans. [Washington Prowler (last Item)]
* Paul Wolfowitz for Mayor, of Baghdad. [The Blotter]
* Alaskan oil companies want Ted Stevens to have the biggest, baddest house on the block. [TPM Muckraker]
* A drawing by Barack Obama of some white people is apparently worth money. [eBay]

A 40-year-old intern with the National Archives pleaded guilty Wednesday to stealing 164 Civil War documents, including an official announcement of President Lincoln’s death, and putting most of them up for sale on eBay.

MORE »

Famous-for-not-being-a-gross-old-man Governor Sarah Palin is making good on promises to clean up Alaska’s notoriously corrupt politics, and you can help her noble efforts! MORE »

Need something to jazz up your collection of Capitol Steps’ records and Mark Russell books? How about this cute Mark Foley action figure! Everybody can enjoy the laughs, because the Foley doll isn’t actually masturbating while IM’ing teen-aged boys. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Auction of Capitol Hill ladies wear raises $15,752. . . Rep. Dennis Hastert is now the longest-serving Republican speaker of the House. [WP]

• Inside the Beltway: BetUS.com is taking bets on rumors of Clinton’s next affair. [WT]

(For our extensive coverage of the gunfire reports at the Rayburn House Office Building on Capitol Hill, just scroll down the page.) MORE »

• Reliable Source: In the past year, Bush received $17,316 in personal gifts and Cheney netted $39,722 worth. . . Woody Harrelson and Kristin Scott Thomas are filming in Foggy Bottom. . . Dresses worn by “political ladies” hit eBay for Gulf Coast charity. . . Nancy Pelosi seen lunching with Zbigniew Brzezinski. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) calls CNN’s Joe Johns a “smartass”. . . Gore’s film premieres tonight at the National Geographic Society’s Grosvenor Auditorium. [Roll Call]
• Page Six: Advisors to Katherine Harris may be plotting a tell-all book and documentary. [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Condoleezza Rice to the NFL?. . . St. Martin’s is throwing a party at the Cosmos Club for Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, and Terry McAuliffe [NYP]

Earlier this week, Kids Ahead, a publisher of conservative children’s books, issued a press release touting a clever publicity stunt: MORE »

By day, Jeff Zeleny is the wunderkind of the Chicago Tribune’s Washington bureau. By night, Zeleny is… running a flourishing business selling stuff on eBay? MORE »

Via DCist we see that the black-and-white market in panda viewing tickets appears to be flourishing on Craigslist. Compared to yesterday’s handjob offer, the promise of ten or twenty bucks seems awfully puny, but at least one person has offered to donate $100 to the National Zoo for the pleasure of accompanying a rightful ticketholder to Butterstick’s lair. MORE »