It seems that Mexico has turned into a nightmare apocalypse swamp (desert?) just south of our own American borders, overnight. Once upon a time, carefree teens could slip down to Juarez or Tijuana for a good clean evening of wholesome fuckin’, and now they will just get kidnapped or worse. Just look at the news: terrible shootouts between drug cartels, a lethal plague, and now just today a scary earthquake near Mexico City … Jesus, no wonder Rick Perry wants federal troops on the border. MORE »

OH NOEZ, EARTHQUAKE! Yes there was an Earth Quake at Wonkette’s West Coast Headquarters. But as usual, Drudge’s West Coast Headquarters had it posted before we even came back inside. 5.8 magnitude, down in Los Angeles. (This also caused the LA Times to go bankrupt and vanish.) And now there are chickenshit little aftershocks about every 45 seconds. WHY DOES BARACK OBAMA AND HIS GOD, “ISLAMIC,” HATE AMERICA? [USGS]

The death toll in Burma could hit a million people, the worst earthquake to strike China in 58 years has already killed at least 9,000, more than 70 tornadoes killed more than 20 people from the midwest to the southeast, and NASA will make a terrible announcement on Wednesday about something horrific they’ve been nervously hunting for 50 years. MORE »