Anyone know what Meghan McCain is promoting, now that she’s in the news and on the teevee shows and doing the Tina Brown monster website thing? Here are two clips from just the past 24 hours, and they’re bad, man, they are BAAAAAD… And yet so funny? MORE »

The Senate passed the $410 billion omnibus stimulus package tonight after a week of widespread grandstanding and feigned horror over $7.7 billion in earmarks — which is simply a means of allocating streams of existing funds — split between 95 Senators. And yet here’s John McCain, going nuts about earmarks and earmarks only because he is too stubborn, ignorant and stupid to learn budgetary policy, or any domestic policy, really, that can’t be easily tagged as unethical or dishonorable. And if you don’t know the difference between a hyphen and a dash, then you do not deserve to sit in elected federal office, Twitter rules be damned. [Washington Post]

• John McCain is still tilting towards earmark windmills, and shaking and asking his magic Twitter, rhetorically?, if, um, hellooo? it’s ever heard of another type of Internet called the Wikipedia and if so, why should the government endow public arts programs? [Hotline On Call]
• Those purple ticket people, the ones whom you might remember were inhumanly inconvenienced during Barry’s Inauguration, have for whatever reason demanded and received commemorative Joe Biden sex pin-ups from Diane Feinstein. [Ben Smith]
• Huffington Post comedy site DemocraticCongressionalCampaignCommittee.com has created a fun novelty form in which users “role play” as one of the many Republicans who were forced to apologize to Rush Limbaugh recently. Meme! [Top of the Ticket]
• Gordon Brown, dauphin of the forgotten island nation of Great Britain, addressed our Congress this morning and gave a special English-accented hello to Ted Kennedy, who was just today crowned the Governor-General of the British East India Company. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Obama is keeping his promise to Nevada, and is probably not going to dump America’s nuclear waste in its mountains after all. [Washington Post]

You know what John McCain hates, even more than trollops and socialism? EARMARKS, which generally constitute a very small amount of any budget bill. Yesterday he threw a fit on the Senate floor about how Barack Obama did not hate earmarks enough, and then he introduced an amendment to banish all earmarks from the government funding bill now making its way through Congress. That amendment failed, of course. MORE »

So last night in the debate John McCain mentioned this despicable project Barack Obama supported, Chicago-style, by throwing 3 million of taxpayers’ dollars at some overhead projector in a planetarium. It was made of pork! Which is just weird, since Muslims aren’t supposed to like pigs, or celestial navigation. MORE »

John McCain’s web site features a challenging video game called “Pork Invaders,” which is designed to illustrate how he will balance the $900 trillion budget deficit by cutting hundreds of millions of dollars in earmarks and “waste.” And because he is John McCain, he will use War to veto these earmarks. See for yourself in the game — you, President McCain, “fire a veto” with the spacebar at little piggie space monsters to prevent them from shitting firecrackers on your subprime mud huts. [John McCain]

John McCain is now trying to court the Women’s Christian Temperance Union from Hillary Clinton’s stable — even though she was a lush — by nixing every Beer Bill that comes his way. Here’s what he said at his “small business” (major corporate) address today: “I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks.” It’s funny because he won’t do either of those things. Liberal. Oh and he also made a joke about how he crashes expensive military planes: “In speaking about his proposal for joint town hall meetings with Obama, McCain said — following the prepared remarks — that he would like to travel with his rival by air. Then, going off script, the famously-downed navy pilot said, ‘I promise not to try to fly.’” Ha ha, because he might accidentally firebomb innocent families! [First Read]

OBAMA RELEASES HORRIFYING LIST OF EARMARKS: Barack Obama released his earmark requests from fiscal years 2006 and 2007 today, but HITLERY did not. What terrible money lies could she be hiding? If you’ve seen the full list of Obama’s earmarks, you’ll realize that it doesn’t matter what either did, because no one will ever read these things. Have you ever seen such a long, boring compilation of numbers and words? Since it’s Barry, we’ll just believe they are all fine and Empowering earmarks. [via Ben Smith]

Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska is the president of cereal! This weekend, he participated in Anchorage’s “third-annual Crafters Smackdown,” where raging hobos and salmon construct beautiful “Alaska cereal boxes” as bloodsport. Given the contest’s lax ethics rules, it is no surprise that the most corrupt senator in world history won. MORE »

Congressman Don Young and Senator Ted Stevens have faced more trials than Job this year, what with people insisting on investigating their alleged bribe-taking and use of their offices for personal gain and whatever. So mean! But, as a thank you for their years of dedicated service to the constituents and lobbyists that paid them enough, the House and Senate finally allowed them to get their “bridge to nowhere” in this year’s defense appropriations bill. And, by “nowhere” they mean Ketchikan (where Young’s son-in-law owns currently useless land) and by “bridge” they mean ferry to make the commute to Anchorage 15 minutes instead of 2 hours. Oh, ok, that makes it totally better this time! [Washington Post]

“Rep. Bob Inglis, R-S.C., won a $3.5 million earmark in the fiscal 2008 Defense spending bill for a cold-weather clothing system despite indicating to the House Appropriations Committee that the money was intended for Cassidy & Associates, a Washington, D.C., lobbying firm that does not manufacture textiles.” [CQ]