Tag Archives: dumb laws

 

Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal

The United States House of Representatives, man, what a place. When they’re not quoting the Bible to piss on climate change or trying to gut Social Security or voting for the 407th time to REPEAL OBAMACARE or fellating their corporate benefactors or holding their collective breath until the usurper resigns in disgrace or gets tried for treason, whichever, they’re voting to make already-illegal taxpayer-funded abortions even more super-duper illegal, because they really, really want all you ambulating vaginas out there to get to babymakin’, for God and country. Read more on Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal…
  rats and sinking ships and such

Chris Christie Won’t Be Mitt’s VP Because Chris Christie Knows A Loser When He Sees One

For months, political comedy aficionados everywhere have been demanding a Romney-Christie “Odd Couple” GOP ticket, where Chris Christie would leave his dirty socks all over the floor after a hard day of screaming abuse at schoolteachers, and Mitt Romney would pick them up with tongs while grinning mirthlessly. Sadly, this was not to be, and probably you thought it was because Romney’s people figured out that Christie’s “fugeddaboutit” brand of Garden State rage wouldn’t play well among emotionally healthy people. But now secret inside sources have leaked to the New York Post the REAL reason: Chris Christie would have been legally required to quit as Governor of New Jersey in order to hoover up all that delicious Wall Street cash, and Chris Christie is not about to quit being Governor of New Jersey to be Mitt Romney’s running mate, because Chris Christie is pretty sure that Mitt Romney is going to lose. Read more on Chris Christie Won’t Be Mitt’s VP Because Chris Christie Knows A Loser When He Sees One…
  where are your papers?

Michigan Lady Will Not Go To Jail Over Her Garden, Just Her Dogs

The woman whose front-yard FLOTUS shrine almost landed her in jail is in the clear now, sort of! So nice try, obesity epidemic, you lose this one. The city of Oak Park, Michigan no longer cares about Julie Bass’ hideous vegetable garden. Instead, they would like to go after her dogs, because Oak Park is now Arizona, so everyone must show their papers, or else. Read more on Michigan Lady Will Not Go To Jail Over Her Garden, Just Her Dogs…
  isn't it time we gave Arizona back to Mexico?

Kansas Hero Will Help Arizona Draft Its New Anchor Baby Law

“Since that distant year 2010, Arizona has experienced what is commonly known as the Arizona Bigot Renaissance” — this will be the first sentence that small children read in their American History Textbook Kindle, in the future. Why? Read Chapter One of your eBook from the future, which explains how Arizona is the Bigot Capital of the entire world — a special place where famous bigots and bigot-craftsmen congregate and do racist stuff together. Historians from the future attribute this “bigot awakening” to Kris Kobach, who ran for Kansas Secretary of State in 2010 but also volunteered part-time to help Arizona write anti-brown people legislation. Kobach will always be remembered as that asshole who helped draft the Arizona “You look like a Messican” ordinance, but did you know that he also helped Arizona outlaw Hamas anchor babies? In the future Kris Kobach is regarded as one of our Founding Fathers. Read more on Kansas Hero Will Help Arizona Draft Its New Anchor Baby Law…
  boston politics

Mass. Lawmakers Now Rethinking Whole ‘Leave Kennedy’s Seat Vacant For Five Months’ Thing

Now that the question of what to do about Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat is no longer an academic one, folks in Boston seem to be giving the issue a little re-think. Remember Kennedy wrote to the governor recently asking him if he couldn’t perhaps do something about that terrible law Democrats passed in 2004, the one that called for a special election in the event of a Senate vacancy FIVE MONTHS after the seat first opened? That got everybody so steamed … Read more on Mass. Lawmakers Now Rethinking Whole ‘Leave Kennedy’s Seat Vacant For Five Months’ Thing…