• Erstwhile athlete/web-logger Gilbert Arenas has been immortalized in wax, at a museum full of wax people. [DCist]
• If it snows on Inauguration Day, Barack Obama’s car will still get to the White House just fine, and you can still probably charge the person renting out your couch obscene amounts of money for the privilege of doing so. [WTOP]
• Mary Chapin Carpenter, a country musician who’s biggest qualification is that she apparently doesn’t even live in DC, will be the newest Washington Times columnist. [Fishbowl DC]
• Meet Dulles’ newest runway! You will probably be spending several utterly inexplicable hours sitting on it sometime this holiday season. [Washington Post]
• Here are some tips for getting Obama to hire you, as the only jobs left in America are in the White House and at the Washington Times, and one of them has just gone to Mary Chapin Carpenter. [Politico]

The front page of GOP.com — one of America’s top sources of humor — uses this graphic to represent “Obama’s Glass Houses.” It links to a scandalous item about how Obama locked into a modestly below-average mortgage rate because he had good credit. Oh no that is terrible oh no. We’re mostly interested in the “glass house” illustration in this graphic, however. Is that what a Liberal’s illegally-financed home looks like? All clear-like with fancy angles and such? Indeed, most Liberals live in subprime replicas of Dulles airport. [GOP.com]

Here’s your Barack Obama, exiting his limo at Dulles today, and looking a little too sharp and stylish for a president. Who does he think he is, George Clooney? Everybody knows that presidents need to be very decrepit and scary, or dumb clowns, or fat embarrassments, or bitter old ladies. [AP Photo]

Dulles airport was reopened one hour after a suspicious package caused authorities to evacuate a ticket area section around 3 p.m.
Dulles Airport Reopens After Security Scare [WTOP]

Dulles loses its crown as Media Capital of the World as Time-Warner takes AOL headquarters to New York. [Washington Post]

Bob Filner, Democratic congressman from California, recently traveled forward through time from 1976, if this file photo is any indication, in order to live out the American dream of going nuts at Dulles and assaulting some airline employee. MORE »

We like to start our Tuesdays on a bright note, and here’s some great news from our Virginia friends: barring a number of possible (and in some cases very probable) set-backs, you might be able to take the train the rest of the way to Dulles in nine years! If you’re still alive! MORE »

United Flight 890 from Los Angeles landed as scheduled at Dulles last night. MORE »

• Washington depicted in sterile icons. Not like in real life. [Birdseye] MORE »