Wonkette

Oh now what is this idiot monster chicken up to? No good! He is an envoy from Nick Leibham, the Democratic challenger to Republican Rep. Brian Bilbray in California’s 50th Congressional District — the northern San Diego seat formerly occupied by Duke “Dick” Cunningham. Liebham made the chicken deliver a letter to Bilbray’s office that called him a chicken for agreeing to debates in San Diego. If one actual chicken calls another person a chicken, then is that really an insult? Everyone in California sucks and Brian Bilbray’s vanity daughter “Briana” is hot, the end. [San Diego Union-Tribune, Flickr]

Politicians: they have bad luck on boats! Last Friday, Rudy Giuliani was happily riding a ferry of some kind in Michigan when he was set upon and attacked by a horde of vicious Ron Paul supporters demanding to know what he did with all the gold from the World Trade Centers and asking why he let Cheney do 9/11. According to a local GOP activist, the Paultards threatened to throw Rudy overboard. He eventually “took shelter in the ferry’s pilothouse for the 15-minute journey,” according to the Detroit Free Press. “It was awful,” says the activist, who has no sense of humor. But like we said a minute ago, boats are just bad news for politicians, as the New Yorker reveals in their October 1 issue. Examples include: MORE »

John Michael, Duke Cunningham’s personal money launderer, was apparently convinced that no federal investigators would ever find the incriminating documents if he hid them in his porn stash. [TPMMuckraker]

“Thirteen U.S. lawmakers, including two representing San Diego-area districts, are resisting subpoenas served by an attorney for Poway defense contractor Brent Wilkes, who is hoping their testimony will help in his upcoming trial on charges of bribing former Rep. Randy ‘Duke’ Cunningham.” [San Diego Union Tribune]

Duke Cunningham is snitching to the FBI in prison, which is bad news for Brent Wilkes. Cunningham: former congressman currently serving time for bribery and corruption and being a stupid jerk. Wilkes: Duke’s former best-bud contractor, currently facing two indictments and 30 counts of all sorts of misbehavior. Thankfully, Duke does not shy away from the aspects of his case that have always been of the utmost importance to Wonkette readers. MORE »

So, we sort of put up this indictment thingie last night without letting you in on the full-on corrupt-politicians pay to do it with sexy ladies angle To save you the trouble of wading through the 42-page PDF file, here are the sexy parts, which are particularly sexy if you like your paid, anonymous sex to be so anonymous that the ladies you have sex with don’t have names but just letters. The gory details, after the jump.

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Hooray for the slow march of justice for lesser Bush Administration figures! Former No. 3 CIA boss Kyle “Slimeball” Foggo and impossibly corrupt Duke Cunningham buddy/contractor Brent Wilkes have been officially indicted for many federal crimes including conspiracy, wire fraud, and money laundering. MORE »

There is nothing Washington editors fear more than the daily e-mails from Liz Richardson, deputy press secretary to the honorable guy from Massachusetts who isn’t Teddy Kennedy. It’s not because of Liz herself — we don’t know her and can’t blame her for taking whatever job comes up in these tough times — but because her name is attached to these endless John Kerry responses to everything that happens. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Real celebs block media from screening of spy pic… Rep. Brian Bilbray literally has Duke Cunningham’s office exorcised… Bono was here for some fucking reason or another. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: At Nat. Geographic event, President Bush “upstaged” by dude from Grey’s Anatomy… Senator Lott’s lobbyist son would’ve benefited from pork project championed by Senator Lott. [Examiner]

• President Bush happily signs so-called “torture bill” into law, calling it, “a way to deliver justice to the terrorists we have captured.” John McCain notably absent from signing ceremony. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]

• First-in-a-decade revision of outer space policy “is not about developing or deploying weapons in space. Period.” So, expect giant lasers and/or death rays up there any minute. [WP]
• Former House clerk and crucial Foley case link Jeff Trandahl is a total boyscout, neckerchiefs and all. Loved to bust pages under his supervision for smoking the chron. [NYT]
• Duke Cunningham’s corruption has a number: $70 million in contracts steered towards his kick-back buddies. [WP, NYT]
• Jim Webb, proud redneck. [WP]
• Hanging out with genocidal war-profiteers in rogue nations is a normal weekend for Curt Weldon. [WP]
• Government denies pension benefit to the partner of Gerry Studds, the first openly gay member of congress. [WP]