Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople elitist Democrats and their drunken wives and rent boys adult children wreak havoc on the icy semen-slick suburban gentrified urban streets.” MORE »

It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs are going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople and their drunken wives and rent boys wreak havoc on the icy suburban streets. Congratulations to Charlene Lugar, wife of Republican Senator Dick Lugar, for winning the “First of the Season” award by just crashing into a parked car, because she was (allegedly!) drunk. MORE »

DRUNK, ILLEGITIMATE BABY-MAKING CONGRESSMAN IS PITIFUL: According to the New York Daily News, still-active Rep. Vito Fossella of New York, who likes to get drunk and make babies with women who aren’t his wife, is “hiding out in a tiny apartment above a garage at his sister’s Staten Island house.” [NYDN]

Yes, we know that Antonin Scalia’s daughter was arrested last night for drunk driving. MORE »

* Please don’t be ashamed if former Soviet bloc citizens and politicians are more punk rock than you. [BBC; AP] MORE »