dscc
Massachusetts Democrats Working Overtime To Lose Massachusetts For Elizabeth Warren
Everybody’s super favorite (not kidding) schoolmarm/Senate candidate, Elizabeth Warren, has had a rough week. She did not have a good answer to why she used to say she was Native American. (To us, “our family always thought we were,” which is true, they did, was a waaay better answer than what she eventually came up [...]
Democrats Forget They Hate Koch Bros. Long Enough To Ask For Money
What do Democrats and Republicans have in common these days, besides a total disinterest in governance and a massive crush on Twitter slapfights? They both love those sweet-tasting Koch bucks printed on paper made of ground orphans. DSCC Chairwoman Sen. Patty Murray called up Koch Industries and left a voicemail asking for the Kochs to renew [...]
DSCC Accuses Pat Toomey of Being Communist Fortune Cookie
Sharron Angle’s not the only one who looks Asian. According to the DSCC, Pennsylvania Sleestak character’s opponent Pat Toomey is a no-good red Chinaman because he supports free trade practices. Was a country of 1.3 billion people just reduced to a gong sound effect, the color red, and a picture of a fortune cookie? Yes, [...]
Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Opponent Ron Johnson Owns Lots of BP Stock
Despite Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.’s brilliant campaign against homosexuality, abortion, and pornography, the Wisconsin GOP Convention endorsed “Oshkosh businessman” (the place or the child overalls?) Ron Johnson. This afternoon the DSCC e-mailed us a press release letting us know that Ron Johnson owns stock in evil oil spiller British Petroleum. This is supposed to make [...]
More Professional Coordination At Democrat HQ!
Yes he is a terrible monster, but really? Seriously? Seriously is this actually literal? “Bayh made the decision not to run on Friday, telling a small group of senior staff, but he did not tell President Obama or Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid until today. His aides say he had been struggling with the decision [...]
Make Pretty Pictures At The DSCC Website!
The DSCC has introduced a fun new game. It’s called, “How To Lose Ted Kennedy’s Senate Seat To A Naked Furry,” with paintbrushes! No, it is just a fill-in-the-blank caption contest for Sarah Palin, because she is stupid. Be sure to submit all of your wacky photos to Bob Menendez! [DSCC]
Did You Know That Scott Brown Made 9/11 Happen, Too?
It must have been “Rent-A-Republican” morning at the DSCC, because an advertisement error this avoidable could only have been produced by John McCain, or his daughter: “The image in the attack on Scott Brown for his alleged closeness to Wall Street pictures the [World] Trade Center and the destroyed Marriott Hotel on its western side.” [...]
Democrats Bring Out All The Stops In Blitz For Coakley
Hey, does anyone know anything about this Martha Coakley lady? Well in that case, here’s our campaign strategy: KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY. Then say “Swift Boat!” too, because that’s what they did to dead KENNEDYTED back in aught-four. It was terrible! [DSCC]
The DSCC Hits The Totally Lame Ball Out Of The Hip, Young Park With This New Ad!
Can everyone please check out the excruciating and clunky allusion that is the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee’s latest video? Why does the weird DSCC want to sell everyone iPod nanos?
DSCC Does Not Care For ‘Quitters,’ If They Are Republicans
Ugh this DSCC ad has about a million problems with it. Number one, only one of these people is a “quitter” in the sense of “throwing a weird hissy fit in front of a flock of honking geese and leaving one’s job for no discernible purpose.”
DSCC Donates Coal to Mitch McConnell
Smug Cloud Shoots to Upstate New York
DSCC Demonstrates Passing Familiarity With Pop Culture, Intimate Relationship With Pandering
At Least Some Good Came Out of the Kerry Campaign
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