drunks
At Red Sox game, President Obama comes on big screen to recognize Fenway’s 100th anniversary, followed by loud chorus of boos. — Eric Fehrnstrom (@EricFehrn) April 20, 2012 Via email, from the Red Sox game: “[Pres Obama] just came on the Jumbotron with a birthday message for Fenway and was booed. Loudly” — Jeff Emanuel [...]
Sooper jenius Rick Perry has finally stumbled on the secret to a 2012 victory! He invited a town hall audience in New Hampshire to make sure to vote for him on November 12, a week after the sucky November 6 presidential election nobody is enthusiastic about anyway, and when no one else will even be [...]
Texas Governor Rick Perry had not been drinking in public or smoking marijuana in front of people or gobbling “back pills,” according to the leader of the conservative group that hosted Perry’s rambling, drunken speech over the weekend. “I can tell you unequivocally he wasn’t drinking at the event and he hadn’t been drinking prior [...]
Teevee actress person Kim Delaney from the show “Army Wives” (we can’t verify this information, we just read the caption) was somehow the most relevant pick for a crowd-warmer speech at a Philadelphia military gala honoring Forever War Emperor Robert Gates. But lucky for everyone at what must have been an otherwise thoroughly boring event, [...]
A man named Benjamin Foster, who is apparently a Tim Pawlenty campaign staffer, was arrested for intoxication and trespassing at a home in Ankeny, Iowa early this morning, according to Des Moines station KCCI. This scared a teen and her dog, as you can see from this video. Maybe we judged Tim Pawlenty too soon. [...]
When your corporation needs to take care of some troublesome “environmental and regulatory matters” in Wisconsin, heh heh, just go see the dumb kid who never graduated college but did manage two DUI convictions, because that dumb kid is earning $81,5000 a year as one of Governor Scott Walker’s top-paid people in the administration. But [...]
Congressman David Wu of Oregon did some interesting things right before his re-election in last year’s midterm elections. He allegedly wandered around Oregon like an insane person, for one. Also, it appears he sent his staff e-mails like an insane person, along with photos of him dressing up like some kind of tiger furry. Wow! [...]
Being a government worker is basically the greatest thing ever. Whether you’re fisting an infant child for the TSA or drunkenly driving truckloads of live nuclear weapons through the American Heartland, the important thing is you get to retire in 20 years with a giant pension: The U.S. Energy Department’s watchdog says government agents hired [...]
FISH SWIM, KENNEDYS DRINK: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s wife Mary was arrested for drunken driving, cops in Bedford, NY said Tuesday. She ran over a curb outside a Catholic church/school carnival, where she told cops she planned to pick up “some people.” RFK Jr. called the cops on her earlier this year, too, and that [...]
As the mists rising from vomit-filled gutters all over the United Kingdom were chased away by the feeble northern sun, bleary-eyed drunken yobs all over the island awoke to discover that the votes they had cast the previous day on a lark had resulted in no clear winner. David Cameron, the posh Tory whose youthful [...]
EVERY DAY’S A GOING-AWAY PARTY! “The RNC’s expenditures for ‘office supplies’ in the period through February topped $773,000, according to a Washington Post tally, including jelly beans for Steele’s office and thousands of dollars’ worth of liquor and wine. Although not asked to review specific party expenditures, Mindy Kramer, an Office Depot spokeswoman, said that [...]
DRUNK STUDENT ON INTERNET SEEKS GIRLS: How does a brooding 20-year-old drunken college student on the Internet finally leave the dorm and get laid? Your editor’s answer may disgust you! [True/Slant]
Bakersfield anti-gay Republican state senator Roy Ashburn is, of course, queer as a three-dollar bill. And he admitted it! Nice to have such honesty in the Political World of Hate Legislation, and all it took for Roy Ashburn to admit his fondness for wriggling around in another man’s excrement was a) a DUI arrest with [...]
Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January [...]
