FOSSELLA TO RESIGN? Drunken Congressman Vito Fossella, who has a 3-year-old illegitimate child, will apparently resign within 72 hours. And that will be the end of New York City’s only Republican congressman. [WNBC 4]

BLUMENTHAL PLEADS GUILTY TO ALCOHOL & CAR PARTY: Political journalist and longtime Clinton adviser Sidney Blumenthal has plead guilty to driving 70 in a 30 MPH zone in New Hampshire the night before its primary. He was driving so fast because he was more drunk than any human has ever been. [The Caucus]

Some guys just can’t catch a break. Within the space of four years, New York Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV gets accused of rape — twice — and he’s pulled over for drunk driving just because his car is weaving in and out of traffic at 2:30 in the morning. This unfortunate string of events may leave some members of the public with the mistaken impression that this guy is a loser. MORE »

One night in 1993, then-Congressman Robert Roe of New Jersey, with a .17 blood-alcohol level, “veered out of his lane in Rockaway Township and ran head-on into a minivan carrying a family of three.” For this service to his country, the New Jersey state government recently renamed a highway after him. Congratulations to drunk ex-Congressman Robert Roe of New Jersey, America’s Highway Hero! MORE »

Remember Sidney Blumenthal? He was a bigshot print journalist back when that last mattered, in the early 1990s. And then the Clintons saved him from obsolescence by making Sid a very special part of the Bill/Hillary circle. They are loyal, as long as you never cross them in any way: Blumenthal is still working for the Clintons today. But he’s now facing “aggravated DWI” charges for allegedly driving so very drunk in New Hampshire last week. [The Smoking Gun]

The votes are in! No, not in your silly American primary election; I’m talking about The Foreigns, who got one look at last week Malaysian sex tape scandal and voted with their cameras, genitals, and fists. “Yes!” they said, in their Foreign languages. “I too want to do titillating things on camera that will end my political career forever!” After the jump: The Foreigns do it live on TV and/or film, for your entertainment. MORE »

Mike Beebe, Governor of Arkansas, is determined to make our job as easy as possible. MORE »

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: Breaking the law, professional bullshit, and lipstick lesbians.

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Remember the lawyer up in Maine who busted out the George W. Bush drunk-driving arrest records right before the 2000 election? Well, he was arrested today for standing on the side of the highway dressed in a rubber Bin Laden mask, waving a plastic gun and a sign promoting a Taxpayer Bill of Rights on next week’s ballot. UPDATE: You know, because if Osama is campaigning for something on your local ballot, chances are it’s not that great for Americans. MORE »

The killjoys at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration have unveiled their largest anti-drunk driving campaign ever, kicking it off with a sure-to-be-effective ad campaign:

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* CIA Director Porter Goss called it quits this week, and didn’t make up a reason for leaving. Not even the standard “time with my family” excuse, which of course makes us think it had something to do with the hookers or the gambling and payola. Anyway, he’s back on the gulf shore already, and everyone is waiting to hear who the next shady character to take over the job is going to be. MORE »