Tag: drugs

Man has got to have a code.

Filipino Donald Trump OK With Being Called ‘Hitler,’ As Long As He Slaughters The Right People

The President of the Philippines seems determined to apply Godwin's Law to himself.
Those are my juniper bushes! Clear off!

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Solves All His Problems With One Weird Trick: Will Never Talk To Press Again

Maine Gov. Paul LePage has vowed to never ever ever speak to reporters again, and possibly to hold his breath until he turns sane.
We're only doing this to get your attention

Racist Maine Gov. Paul LePage Ready To Duel Anyone Who Calls Him Racist

Apparently LePage thinks it's cool to say you want to murder a legislator, as long as you only want to murder him in a duel in 1825.
Not as fun as a new car :(

It’s Michigan’s Turn For Welfare Drug Tests To Fail, Yay Welfare Drug Tests!

Yet another state program to test welfare recipients for drugs has found no drug fiends getting welfare. Clearly, the answer is tougher drug tests.
SCOTUS Roller Derby Team

Sonia Sotomayor Pissed, Y’all

Sotomayor doesn't think it's OK for cops to illegally stop and search you, then come up with reasons why later. Weird!
You can tell he's a thug from a shady neighborhood.

Black Middle-Schooler Charged With ‘Stealing’ Free Milk From Lunch Line, For Some Reason

A Virginia middle-schooler was charged with larceny and suspended from school after a cop accused him of 'stealing' a 65-cent carton of milk that he was entitled to have as part of his free school lunch. Franz Kafka would be proud.
Scary Monsters then, Scary Monsters now

McCain Fundraiser Nabbed In Meth-Lab Bust. This Is Excellent News For John McCain!

A top fundraiser for Sen. John McCain was arrested Tuesday in a Phoenix meth lab bust -- or at least, according to the very careful phrasing in the Arizona Republic, Emily Pitha is a "woman listed as the RSVP...
We're only doing this to get your attention

Racist Maine Gov. Paul LePage Decides It’s The Blacks Dealing Drugs After All

How incompetent is Paul LePage, the racist Hefty bag of bile and moose leavings who's somehow won two terms as Maine's governor? Apart from being so blessedly stupid that he mistakenly allowed a bunch of progressive legislation to become...
Oh, it's this asshole again

Evil Dumb Maine Gov. Paul LePage Would Love To See Heads Roll In Public Square

Maine's functionally illiterate idiot Gov. Paul LePage flapped his face hole again, and that never works out well for him. Earlier this month, he was sorry not sorry OK maybe a little sorry but not really for saying "guys by the name D-Money, Smoothie,...
Why are bad guys always captured in dirty sleeveless undershirts? WHY?

Sean Penn Farted On El Chapo, Lived To Tell The Tale

Of all the people we'd expect to be involved with the arrest of the world's most wanted international drug lord, "Sean Penn" was pretty low on the list, below "David Tennant" (but way above "Bill O'Reilly"). And yet Penn's...

Racist Idiot Maine Gov. Paul LePage: I’m Not Sorry ‘My Brain Didn’t Catch Up To My Mouth’

OK, everybody, shut it down. There's no reason to poutrage over Maine Gov. Paul LePage's claim on Thursday that "guys by the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty" are invading sweet lil' old Maine, from the Big City of Connecticut, to...
Pastor Steven Anderson doing his best impression of "death metal." Ayup.

Shame How Ironic Band Name Murdered All Those Parisians :(

This is a song by the band Eagles Of Death Metal, whose Paris show Friday night at the Bataclan was interrupted by thug terrorists murdering people: Now, be truthful. If you had NO IDEA WHO THEY WERE, how many seconds...
Bet those kids can't wait to get back to the sun, sand, and occasional automatic weapons fire. Oh, and the rapes.

GOP Senator: Sure, Kids Deported To Honduras Might Die, But It’s So Pretty There

Remember how all those children were "invading" our southern border from Central America last year, and it was the greatest crisis America ever faced, until some guy in Texas had Ebola? Well it turns out that a lot of...
Oh look, they are kissing. Bet they're about to do some "mission work" to each other's bathing suit areas.

Dumb Duggar Kids Admit Mission Trip Is Basically Sexxxy Beach Vacation For Jesus

YR WONKET CALLED IT, MUST CREDIT WONKET! You people out there in internet-ville think oh, Wonkette is such a gas, the way they make up silly stories about how Jill Duggar and her long lanky sex penis "Derick Dillard"...
Father Forgive them, for they are dumb as fuck like whoa.

Houston Votes Yucky Gay Homosexicans Off Island

Oh dear God, Houston voters, what fucking century did you meth-travel to before you voted Tuesday? Because if we are reading the results correctly (and we are, duh), you went to the polls and said, "Gays? Fuck 'em." You voted...
Sexytime Jesus Vacation

Dumb Duggar Kids Will Refund Your ‘Missionary’ Donations If You Promise Not To Tell Jesus

We know very little about what Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband Meth-Eyes "Derick" Duggar Dillard have been doing in Central America, if that's even where they REALLY ARE. There has been much Intrigue! Are they really in El Salvador,...