Wonkette

Here’s your happy Barack Obama, now known as the Democratic Nominee for President. Thanks to Drudge for showing such a happy dancing fool. Now, the nation can heal. Except for the old white women. No healing for them. [Drudge Report]

[AP via Drudge Report]

Matt Drudge, the patron saint of political journalists looking for some link love, has this dignified “You’re Done, Hillary” TIME cover, which we can only assume is either a) the next TIME cover, or b) somebody’s idea of a funny thing to make Hillary cry. [DRUDGE REPORT] MORE »

The link is just to some AP story that doesn’t say anything we don’t already know. Hey here is some news: Hillary has no public events planned today, Wednesday, the day after. [DRUDGE REPORT] MORE »

It’s never too early to do a little Christmas shopping for your worst enemies, especially when the “shopping” is free! Send the people you hate a shitty poster of these beloved “conservative women” bloggers. Ha ha it’s funny because wingnuts are always complaining about “loose women” or whatever. Choose from Ann Coulter smoking on the balcony, Michele Malkin in the woods with a liberal computer, or Keith Richards. (PS — Don’t really do this because the “free” posters actually cost $7. Just print up a few at work. Use all the color cartridges. After all, you’ll be giving them to the people you hate most: the people you work for.) [Free "Luce Lady" Posters]

HEY DRUDGE THAT’S NOT FUNNY: “Death by suicide robot,” is that what you call that old “Hitler Youth” Pope looking at you, these days? NOT COOL MAN, not cool. Anyway, happy “Good Friday,” everybody. It’s the day Rome finally killed Jesus so He would never bother us again. [DRUDGE REPORT]

It all started with a simple photograph of Barack Obama, dressed up like a Somali tribesman in Africa. Somebody helpfully e-mailed the photo to the Drudge Report with this message: “Wouldn’t we be seeing this on the cover of every magazine if it were HRC [Hillary Rodham Clinton]?” Matt Drudge quickly put the goofy photograph on top of his website and blamed Hillary’s campaign for trying to get Matt Drudge to put the picture on his website. And somewhere, Barack Obama made his “I am embarrassed for you face” and gently shook his head, with dignity.

And that’s why Kenyan tribesmen are crazy with hate about what Hillary did to their dignity!

Tribal elders are still fuming over the appearance of the picture. They want an apology from the U.S. Government, which of course publishes the Drudge Report, and they also want Hillary to “clear her name,” or there will be riots, in Kenya.

The question remains: Why are the Clintons’ famously sleazy campaign methods suddenly not working?

Hillary and Bill and their campaign managers are getting all kinds of grief these days for the racism and the dirty tricks and all the things that people like to complain about during a campaign — but these tactics are used for a reason: They work.

George W. Bush had been anointed by his party in 1999 to be the GOP nominee in 2000, and all the big money lined up behind the chosen candidate. Then a charismatic smooth-talking “reformer” appeared — yes, that’s how we use to describe John McCain, nearly a decade ago — and won New Hampshire. Suddenly the establishment party choice was in trouble. So Bush’s campaign played as dirty as they could, ultimately winning the crucial South Carolina primary after word was spread that John McCain had himself a half-black baby with a black woman.

It mattered not a bit that the “black baby” was an Asian orphan the McCains adopted from the slums of Bangladesh. South Carolina Republican primary voters were just racist enough to pick Dubya over the alleged Maverick with the mulatto baby.

So it should’ve worked when Bill Clinton dismissed Barack Obama’s S.C. win as meaningless, because another black politician won the Democratic primary in South Carolina 20 years earlier. But it didn’t. Bill Clinton has been kept in a dog kennel ever since.

Is Barack Obama that good of a candidate, or is the Lee Atwater/Karl Rove/James Carville/Mark Penn school of campaigning no longer a viable way to rile up enough mouth-breathing imbeciles to throw an election?

TRIBES RAGE AT HIL [New York Post]

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Clinton campaign manager Maggie Williams has responded to the terrible charges that Hillary’s people are circulating a picture of Barack Obama wearing some funny tribal outfit during a trip to Africa. It turns out this is all Obama’s fault! Why? We don’t know, because it makes no sense! Here’s the statement from the Hillary camp. MORE »