drudge report

Let’s play a fun game. It is called “What Is Wrong With Matt Drudge?” and the answer cannot be “everything” because then the game is over. Above you see his illustration this morning for the Golden Globe nominations, in which 12 Years A Slave and American Hustle both made out like armed robbers. Armed robbers […]

The field’s all yours, Hillary Clinton. Old Handsome Joe Biden will no longer be running for president now that the Drudge Report (and CBS) has explained that he killed this dog. Gail Collins will write 1,452,722 articles about Joe Biden killing this dog. Ghost Andrew Breitbart will produce a cookbook for how to fix the […]

Internet commenters: they are the suck! (Present company … excepted? Hmmm.) You cannot read any story about any person whose name ends with ‘z’ (‘SPANICS) without getting an eyeful of the most insanely racist shit, the kind that makes your stomach sink into your liver, as if your liver was not having enough problems without […]

Here, in its entirety, is the Weekly Standard story to which Drudge is appending pictures of Hitler and Stalin:

WHOA  10:33 am March 1, 2012

Andrew Breitbart Drops Dead

by Wonkette Jr.

American blog owner Andrew Breitbart is dead. He was 43 years old, and reportedly died of “natural causes” in Los Angeles early this morning. We knew Breitbart — “we,” meaning many of us who have written for Wonkette, including young Riley Waggaman, pictured above at left — and he was a pleasant enough goofball in […]

Hooray, today is our dear FLOTUS’ birthday! Hopefully you are celebrating this special day with one of those cake-flavored yogurts and a few jumping jacks. FLOTUS foes are of course marking the occasion by continuing their Occupy Denny’s protest, which is probably the longest-running and most effective (hello, obesity!) movement of this century. Last year, […]

Happy newz everyone, the most-hated Congress in all of American history has finally Gotten The Message and started passing some exciting jerbs legisla– HA HA JUST KIDDING, ALWAYS KIDDING, FOREVER. No, the only issue that gets broad-based House support from 229 Republicans and 43 Democrats these days (besides their brave efforts to reaffirm “In God […]

It turns out that daily catastrophic tornadoes are not the only problem faced by America’s cities these days. Traditionally at the bottom of America’s socioeconomic system since being brought here in chains at the bottom of slave slips, black people seem to once again be having a very hard time of it during the Great […]

The two most important parts of a lady, on the body of one of our finest actors. Nothing to joke about. [screengrab via Wonkette operative "Tim H."]

DRUDGE (Druge) SIRENS! The following is an “**Exclusive** **Must Credit**.” It has eight asterisks! It must be good! Matt Drudge has been sent an advance copy of George W. Bush’s new book or whatever, and he has REVEALED five or so random parts of it. “The president details how he bonded with Crown Prince Abdullah […]

“First lady Michelle Obama appears to have violated Illinois law — when she engaged in political discussion at a polling place!” Wha? Oh no! Exclamation point, for sure! After Michelle Obama finished turning in her early-voting ballot today (DRUDGE SIRENS! Update your residency, miss! You live in D.C.!), some voters asked if they could take […]

The illiterate who ineptly cuts-and-pastes things at “Fishbowl DC” (remember that site?) is trying to get some traffic for the long-ignored MediaBistro blog by posting some banal crap from that “JournoList” email group the media kids in town use to send emails to each other. What could turn that into some SEO traffic, two years […]

Here’s the Emotional Clip from today’s Obamar press conference, where he tries to prove that he is “sufficiently enraged” over this whole oil spill with an anecdote, about how his freaking daughter wakes him up every morning by asking the annoying question, “Did you plug the hole yet, daddy?” Send that gal to military school, […]

BETTER THAN THE OLD POLITICO  9:03 pm April 21, 2010

by Jim Newell

JULI WEINER IS THE NEW POLITICO: Bloodthirsty ambitious blog monster Juli Weiner, your beloved ex-Wonkette editor who is now editor-in-chief of New York City’s Vanity Fair organization (the Mafia), typed up some wacky jokes today about the faptastic new $100 bill looking all European and socialist, probably before going to her business lunch at a […]

FREE CANDY  3:31 pm July 21, 2009

Dr. Pedobear Will See You Now

by Ken Layne

No, not at all! According to famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report,” it is about a giant looming Pedobear who will “fix” your “health” by, uhm, raping children. Is that what you people want?