Wonkette

OBAMATARDS, SIT BY YR CELLPHONES: Because we have, what else, a DRUDGE FLASH: “The NYT newsroom was buzzing late Monday afternoon after Obama-beat reporter Jeff Zeleny learned how the Dem hopeful has now finalized his choice for a running-mate. Obama has set out an elaborate roll-out to announce his decision that will begin with an early morning e-mail to supporters, perhaps as early as Tuesday, Zeleny and Adam Nagourney have been told.” Text “VP” to 62262 if you want Barry to personally text you first with a picture of his veep’s private partz. UPDATE: Mark Halperin says “he is wrong.” We will wait for the Politico tie-breaker vote to see how the Triumvirate Council Of Horse Race Lies ultimately decides. [Drudge Report]

Just to reiterate, but isn’t it funny that the Republicans nominated the guy Matt Drudge hates more than anyone? [Drudge Report]

OH NOEZ, EARTHQUAKE! Yes there was an Earth Quake at Wonkette’s West Coast Headquarters. But as usual, Drudge’s West Coast Headquarters had it posted before we even came back inside. 5.8 magnitude, down in Los Angeles. (This also caused the LA Times to go bankrupt and vanish.) And now there are chickenshit little aftershocks about every 45 seconds. WHY DOES BARACK OBAMA AND HIS GOD, “ISLAMIC,” HATE AMERICA? [USGS]

Stylish wordsmith Barack Obama had an op-ed in the New York Times last week, which is kind of a big deal. He could be the next David Brooks or Bill Kristol or even Maureen Dowd! So then Grampa Walnuts McCain was all, “Argghhh, I should get a column in the New York Times, I was tortured,” so the Times is all, “Okay, submit one, we guess?” MORE »

Here’s your happy Barack Obama, now known as the Democratic Nominee for President. Thanks to Drudge for showing such a happy dancing fool. Now, the nation can heal. Except for the old white women. No healing for them. [Drudge Report]

[AP via Drudge Report]

Matt Drudge, the patron saint of political journalists looking for some link love, has this dignified “You’re Done, Hillary” TIME cover, which we can only assume is either a) the next TIME cover, or b) somebody’s idea of a funny thing to make Hillary cry. [DRUDGE REPORT] MORE »

The link is just to some AP story that doesn’t say anything we don’t already know. Hey here is some news: Hillary has no public events planned today, Wednesday, the day after. [DRUDGE REPORT] MORE »

It’s never too early to do a little Christmas shopping for your worst enemies, especially when the “shopping” is free! Send the people you hate a shitty poster of these beloved “conservative women” bloggers. Ha ha it’s funny because wingnuts are always complaining about “loose women” or whatever. Choose from Ann Coulter smoking on the balcony, Michele Malkin in the woods with a liberal computer, or Keith Richards. (PS — Don’t really do this because the “free” posters actually cost $7. Just print up a few at work. Use all the color cartridges. After all, you’ll be giving them to the people you hate most: the people you work for.) [Free "Luce Lady" Posters]

HEY DRUDGE THAT’S NOT FUNNY: “Death by suicide robot,” is that what you call that old “Hitler Youth” Pope looking at you, these days? NOT COOL MAN, not cool. Anyway, happy “Good Friday,” everybody. It’s the day Rome finally killed Jesus so He would never bother us again. [DRUDGE REPORT]