drudge report
Now Joe Biden Has Killed A Dog, Just To Watch It Die
The field’s all yours, Hillary Clinton. Old Handsome Joe Biden will no longer be running for president now that the Drudge Report (and CBS) has explained that he killed this dog. Gail Collins will write 1,452,722 articles about Joe Biden killing this dog. Ghost Andrew Breitbart will produce a cookbook for how to fix the [...]
FLOTUS Celebrates Birthday, is Crowned Queen of Nickelodeon
Hooray, today is our dear FLOTUS’ birthday! Hopefully you are celebrating this special day with one of those cake-flavored yogurts and a few jumping jacks. FLOTUS foes are of course marking the occasion by continuing their Occupy Denny’s protest, which is probably the longest-running and most effective (hello, obesity!) movement of this century. Last year, [...]
With Nothing Better To Do, Congress Votes On Some Gun Stuff
Happy newz everyone, the most-hated Congress in all of American history has finally Gotten The Message and started passing some exciting jerbs legisla– HA HA JUST KIDDING, ALWAYS KIDDING, FOREVER. No, the only issue that gets broad-based House support from 229 Republicans and 43 Democrats these days (besides their brave efforts to reaffirm “In God [...]
Drudge: Airport Pat-Downs Now Entering Your ‘T&A’
The two most important parts of a lady, on the body of one of our finest actors. Nothing to joke about. [screengrab via Wonkette operative "Tim H."]
Drudge Report Leaks Dumb EXCLUSIVES From Bush Book
DRUDGE (Druge) SIRENS! The following is an “**Exclusive** **Must Credit**.” It has eight asterisks! It must be good! Matt Drudge has been sent an advance copy of George W. Bush’s new book or whatever, and he has REVEALED five or so random parts of it. “The president details how he bonded with Crown Prince Abdullah [...]
Famous Teabag-Beat Reporter Dave Weigel Apologizing Again
The illiterate who ineptly cuts-and-pastes things at “Fishbowl DC” (remember that site?) is trying to get some traffic for the long-ignored MediaBistro blog by posting some banal crap from that “JournoList” email group the media kids in town use to send emails to each other. What could turn that into some SEO traffic, two years [...]
JULI WEINER IS THE NEW POLITICO: Bloodthirsty ambitious blog monster Juli Weiner, your beloved ex-Wonkette editor who is now editor-in-chief of New York City’s Vanity Fair organization (the Mafia), typed up some wacky jokes today about the faptastic new $100 bill looking all European and socialist, probably before going to her business lunch at a [...]
Republicans Now Furious About Dept. of Agriculture Buying Some Food For Starving Americans
You know who sucks? Poor jobless hungry people in America, that’s who! The famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report” got some GOP people very, very excited because Drudge posted something suggesting the government spent $1.2 million to purchase “two pounds of ham.” TALK ABOUT PORK SPENDING, HEY-O! But, according to sad pooh-bear agriculture secretary Tom [...]
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There Are People In This World Who Simply Do Not Care For Michelle Obama
by Rebecca Schoenkopf
Internet commenters: they are the suck! (Present company … excepted? Hmmm.) You cannot read any story about any person whose name ends with ‘z’ (‘SPANICS) without getting an eyeful of the most insanely racist shit, the kind that makes your stomach sink into your liver, as if your liver was not having enough problems without [...]