Tag Archives: drought

  Perry/God 2016!

Glenn Beck Says Texas Flooded Because Rick Perry Is Just Too Darned Good At Prayin’

For a limited time only, we’re going to agree with Glenn Beck, on a thing, and yes, we promise to never do it again. See, during a recent episode of the “show” he “broadcasts” on the interweb, from some basement somewhere, Beck and his buddies — whom we assume he met at broken-brain rehab — said it’s indicted former Gov. Rick Perry’s fault that Texas is all covered up with water, and more than two dozen people have died, with several more still missing. And you know what? We’re OK with blaming all that death and destruction on Rick Perry, because fuck that guy right in his yee haw.   Read more on Glenn Beck Says Texas Flooded Because Rick Perry Is Just Too Darned Good At Prayin’…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Knows Democrats Are Causing California’s Drought

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
Yr Wonket has been covering the Sarah Palin Channel for the better part of a year now, and we have never, ever seen Palin say something this breathtakingly stupid. Hyperbole? Perhaps. But take a gander at this stupid, and have the number of your nearest burn unit on hand, because this is just searingly dumb: Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Knows Democrats Are Causing California’s Drought…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  What Does God Need With A Rain Gauge?

Wingnut Dennis Prager: Nature-Worshiping Pagans Stole California’s Water, Gave It To Fish

Stupid nymphs, takin' all our water!
Dennis Prager, the Family-Values radio talker who thinks children should go hungry because it builds character and that nudity is undermining American society, has more thoughts about Matters Spiritual and Material. Specifically, he has figured out why California has a “drought” — it has nothing to do with insufficient rain and snow, and is instead the result of nature-worshiping greenies. Like so many conspiracy theorists, they always end up blaming the Druids. Read more on Wingnut Dennis Prager: Nature-Worshiping Pagans Stole California’s Water, Gave It To Fish…
  It's Getting Hot In Herre

Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?

Gina McCarthy: Suspiciously cozy with Big Science
Gosh, this ought to go well: Some of the biggest climate deniers in the Senate want the EPA to school them on how climate modeling works. No doubt this is so they can gain a greater appreciation of just how complex science is, so they can marvel at how great our understanding of the natural world is. That, or they’re looking for stuff they can cherry-pick out of context to claim that global warming is a hoax, and we should start burning all the coal we can dig up before Jesus comes back. Read more on Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?…
  A Modesto Proposal

Jerry Brown Won’t Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There’s No More Water

To think that MS Paint doesn't include a stencil font...
California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed a lawless executive order (they’re all lawless) imposing mandatory water restrictions on the oppressed people of the Golden State, which is pretty much what they asked for by being a bunch of Left Coast nanny staters. Read more on Jerry Brown Won’t Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There’s No More Water…
  Here have some news n stuff

RINO George W. Bush Totally Supports Obama’s Goal Of Beating Bad Guys

Is this guy even a Republican?
George Dubya gave an interview on CNN and said some stuff. Like how when he heard about the grand jury in New York refusing to indict the cop who choked Eric Garner to death, it made him “sad that race continues to play such a, you know, kind of emotional, divisive part of life.” And how if his brother Jeb runs for president, he will SO full-on win. And also how it was a real comfort to him sometimes, when he was president, that his daddy had been president too, because his daddy could, like, totally get it, man. Read more on RINO George W. Bush Totally Supports Obama’s Goal Of Beating Bad Guys…
  Science: What Has It Done For Us?

Paul Ryan Pretty Sure Scientists Too Dumb To Be Sure about Global Warming

It's Banksy, in a canal, with a spray can.
Paul Ryan one-upped the rest of the Republican Party in a debate against his Democratic challenger Monday night. Most R’s have been content to say that they don’t have to express an opinion on the reality of climate change because “I’m not a scientist.” But Paul Ryan went one better and said that neither are scientists. Read more on Paul Ryan Pretty Sure Scientists Too Dumb To Be Sure about Global Warming…
  Your morning cup of wut?

GOP Sure Is Great With The Ladies, Part Why Bother Counting? And Other News You Can Maybe Use

except when they're not invited
Just think … somewhere in the world, it’s already weekend o’clock. Boy, those Republicans, man. They sure know how to woo the womenfolk. Or at least the menfolk, which, let’s face it, is really who matters: Read more on GOP Sure Is Great With The Ladies, Part Why Bother Counting? And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Rage Against The Green

An Open Letter To People Who Water Their Lawns During A Drought

Dear Neighbors: Hello. Hi. How are you? I’m fine. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I am not fine. I am enraged. I am livid. I am ready to freak the fuck out. Why? Because we’re in the midst of the worst drought in California history, and you won’t stop watering your fucking lawns. READ MORE AT HNTP Read more on An Open Letter To People Who Water Their Lawns During A Drought…
  don't have a cow

GOP: Barack Obama’s Command Over The Weather Means We Will Pay More For Cedar Cheese And Those Cakes We Like

Remember “Julia,” the main character in an Obama campaign website who goes through her childhood and adolescence suckling off the government teat before becoming a web designer and taking birth control pills? Well, now she is back, courtesy of a GOP Political Action Committee, and her grocery bill is TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. This is because 1) she seems to be buying enough groceries to assemble an entire cow, from scratch and 2) because Obama is in charge of the weather AND the free market and has used his magical weather powers to cause this summer’s drought and the subsequent rise in food prices. But for the purposes of critical analysis, here is her shopping list. We are saddened to report that she is not planning on picking up any cedar cheese. Or those cakes we like. We’ll get over it though, with effort. Read more on GOP: Barack Obama’s Command Over The Weather Means We Will Pay More For Cedar Cheese And Those Cakes We Like…
  god is in his heaven

How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?

Exactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days, toiling away in the world’s most deliberative lawmaking body, making decisions that will probably imperil the very survival of the human race? And of these stupid, stupid people, how many are willing to talk to reporters and make good and sure that there is a RECORD of their stupidity for posterity? Turns out, quite a few! Read more on How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?…
  dust bowl blues

Fires Rage & Farms Dry Up Across the Oklahoma-Texas New Dust Bowl

A devilish hoax called Global Warming is wreaking havoc on the un-ironically named “Dust Bowl,” where the worst drought since the 1920s is turning cropfields to scorched earth while savage wildfires turn the remaining forests into, well, scorched trees. The rains never arrived during “rainy season” and now it’s only the second week of Spring and the whole godforsaken place from the Colorado Plateau to the Gulf Coast is dried up or in flames. Says a cold-hearted robot known as the U.S. Drought Monitor: “Many drought indicators in east-central Texas have reached the Exceptional Drought (D4) level, and if rain does not materialize soon, intensification of the current drought is likely.” Get the Model A loaded up and California bound, and tell old Uncle John Joad to load up the shotguns lest the murderous capitalist-swine bankers try to stop us on the way out. Read more on Fires Rage & Farms Dry Up Across the Oklahoma-Texas New Dust Bowl…
  uh yeah this seems bad actually

YOU GUYS JUST PASS THAT CAP AND TRADE BILL WHENEVER YOU GET AROUND TO IT: “Russia banned all exports of grain on Thursday after millions of acres of wheat withered in a severe drought, a portentous decision at a time when crop failures caused by heat and flooding span the northern hemisphere. Russia’s prime minister, Vladimir V. Putin, announced the ban, from Aug. 15 to Dec. 31, saying it was necessary to curb rising prices for food inside Russia, one of the world’s largest wheat exporters, which is suffering the hottest temperatures recorded since record-keeping began more than 130 years ago… The decision caused an immediate and sharp rise in the already high global price of wheat. It rose more than 8 percent in early trading on the Chicago Board of Trade on Thursday, after having increased about 90 percent since June.” [NYT] Read more on …