drones
Girl, Rand Paul Will Drone You All Night Long
Hey remember way back in March when Rand Paul decided to talk for 13 long hours about why he hated drones? Who could forget! That was the kind of amazing display of singleminded enthusiasm for our civil liberties and Constitutional rights that make Rand Paul et al occasionally useful additions to the Senate. HOWEVER, hopefully [...]
Latest Wingnut Meme: CIA Nominee Brennan Is Secret Muslim Infil-Traitor, Just Like In That ‘Homeland’ Teevee Show
OK, Wingnutosphere — just knock it off. We are no longer accepting new nominations for “Least Plausible Conspiracy Theory,” so can you just give it a rest now, please? The latest contender is a claim making the rounds about how John Brennan, Barack Obama’s nominee to head the CIA, secretly converted to Islam while he [...]
Students Successfully Hijack Domestic Flying Killer Robot
Drones! Or, as they are affectionately called, “Flying Killer Robots!” Apparently they are coming soon to American airspace and they will fix everything, from pollution in Nebraska to checking out pirates to fighting fires! So what is NOT to like about domestic drones, maybe that’s the better question! Except for the tiny little problem of [...]
Drone Terror Attack Thwarted Because Only Pentagon Is Allowed To Do That
What could be wrong about a robot-drone plane raining death and destruction upon the Enemy? Everything, when a Muslim wants to do it! (Otherwise, this is called “10 years of U.S. war in Afghanistan.”) Somehow, the FBI found an angry young Islamic dude in America who was, for some reason, angry about the endless murder [...]
Alaska Supreme Court: Joe Miller Is a Huge Loser
Break out your advent calendar and enjoy a delicious chocolate-covered Alaska Supreme Court ruling which states there “are no remaining issues raised by Miller that prevent this election from being certified.” Yay! Blow it out yer butt, Joe Miller, you hairy fraud. Joe will have two days to file “additional complaints,” but it’s unclear what [...]
CIA Robots Kill Germans in Pakistan
Many years from now, your grandchild will ask inquisitively, “Grandpa, will you please tell me the story about that time the robots from the CIA killed the German people in the mountains of Pakistan?” And then you will scratch your head, as senile old people often do, and belch “You’ll have to be more specific. [...]
Your Consumer Reeducation Begins TODAY!
Barack Obama will finally announce sometime today that Elizabeth Warren is America’s new consumer-advocate czar. Warren will be appointed as a “special adviser” to the Consumer Protection Bureau. And because Warren is just doin’ some harmless consulting work, there is no need for a Senate confirmation hearing, which is excellent because we all know that [...]
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