President Obama has dispatched an army of sterilization goons to London in advance of the G20 meeting this week. Their task: to remove the gonads of any human who invades the “sterile area” around the president. Obama also sent his driver over early so that he could familiarize himself with the quaint English custom of driving on the wrong side of the road, a practice known locally as “buggery.” MORE »

• BIN LADEN’S DRIVER CONVICTED: Salim Hamdan was found guilty of providing material support for terrorism, but was acquitted of conspiring with al-Qaeda. [CBC News]