Tag: drinking

The Final Countdown: Enjoy the Heat Before Snowmageddon Returns

It’s time to assess whether you've been doing enough drinking on outdoor patios this summer. Well, HAVE YOU? The three-day-drunk-fest that marks the end of summer is but one month away. Whether your fun comes courtesy of slave reparations...

Relive Your Childhood With Your Best Friend, Booze

Washingtonians are borderline alcoholics. We welcome this fun fact with open arms because drinking is fun, helps DC’s economy, and makes everyone look so pretty. But here we have something new: Did you know that Washingtonians secretly wish they...

St. Patrick’s Day: Hurry Up and Drink

America's celebration of the Irish traditions of wearing green and pinching and binge drinking and lots of green vomit is almost here! Hooray! St. Patrick was a man who wanted everyone to become Christian (no, he was not the...

Celebrate President Obama’s Legendary First Year With This Handy State Of The Union Drinking Game!

Wee hew, it has been nearly one whole year since newly minted President Barack Obama gave a Not-State-of-the-Union speech, in which he discussed how "resolve" and "green energy" were going to save our economy. Remember this speech, when everybody...

The Newest Addition To Drunken Late Night DC Eating

Many DC denizens, if given enough seed money to start a business, would rather invest it in something "fun," like cocaine. Others, like the Fojol Brothers of Merlindia, opt to buy a food truck, travel around DC and feed...

Welfare Recipients Should Say No To Drugs, Yes To Cheap American Beer

So this news channel embedded deep in Bitters country -- West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky -- runs the occasional poll asking such probing questions as "Do you plan to buy mulch from the city of Charleston?" Here is a...

Historical First-Ever President Barack Obama Congressional Address Drinking Game!

It's been a long hard road, people. We've had some hard times, havin' some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good....

Actual Stimulus Party Report!

Well, third time's a charm! Finally, one of you people out of the several hundred MILLION worldwide who claim to be Obama supporters held an actual "talk about our nation's ruined economy" party, complete with a creepy guest appearance...

'GEORGE TENET, DRUNK IN BANDAR'S POOL, SCREAMING ABOUT JEWS': A new book details that time George Tenet got totally schnockered on scotch and started badmouthing the neocons. If this is true, this is delicious.

Give Thanks To Your Wonkette Pals, With Recipes!

While Barack Obama appoints Mr. Peabody as the Secretary of Science or whatever and no other news happens except the usual daily rain of Great Big Depression statistics, let's give THX for whatever it is that didn't go terribly...

Wonkette Met A Fan Last Night!

So after our little tour of the Republican Death Slave Equipment we went next door to The Liffey, the bar of choice for lazy journalists who want to get as many beers into their bodies as quickly as possible...

UTNE Reader Threw An RNC Party!

The beloved UTNE Reader rented out an entire brewery last night, and your Wonkette joined many other media dorks for fun and hijinx. Here's UTNE web boss Bennett Gordon, a bunch of people, some guy with his hand down...

St. Paul Bars Too Cheap To Stay Open Late For Republican National Convention

Well, this is a terrible disappointment. The City of St. Paul decided to charge bars $2500 for a license to stay open till 4 a.m. during the anxious, angry slog known as the Republican National Convention -- an event...

U.S. Chamber Of Commerce Holds Wild Bacchanal At D.C. Sports Bar

Here is some proof that America's lobbyists remain some of the world's sturdiest boozers: employees of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce recently ran up an $8,204 bar tab in a single wild evening celebrating the end of their softball...

TERRY MCAULIFFE IS SEXIST: Uh oh, it seems that comical former Hillary Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe is drunk again. In an interview with some Virginia newspaper, he recommended Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine be selected as Obama's second black...