June 18, 2013
It’s been a long hard road, people. We’ve had some hard times, havin’ some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good. Feels good knowing that ignorant motherfucker is back in Dallas, let Texas have him back, right? [...]
Well, third time’s a charm! Finally, one of you people out of the several hundred MILLION worldwide who claim to be Obama supporters held an actual “talk about our nation’s ruined economy” party, complete with a creepy guest appearance by Tim Kaine’s eyebrow.
‘GEORGE TENET, DRUNK IN BANDAR’S POOL, SCREAMING ABOUT JEWS’: A new book details that time George Tenet got totally schnockered on scotch and started badmouthing the neocons. If this is true, this is delicious. [Jeffrey Goldberg]
While Barack Obama appoints Mr. Peabody as the Secretary of Science or whatever and no other news happens except the usual daily rain of Great Big Depression statistics, let’s give THX for whatever it is that didn’t go terribly wrong this year (the election, for example!) by sharing our favorite T-day food, beverage and dessert [...]
So after our little tour of the Republican Death Slave Equipment we went next door to The Liffey, the bar of choice for lazy journalists who want to get as many beers into their bodies as quickly as possible following four hours of hillbilly baying for Elitist Media blood. We sat down with a couple [...]
The beloved UTNE Reader rented out an entire brewery last night, and your Wonkette joined many other media dorks for fun and hijinx. Here’s UTNE web boss Bennett Gordon, a bunch of people, some guy with his hand down his pants, and a blurry character who writes for Wonkette. More pix after the jump.
Well, this is a terrible disappointment. The City of St. Paul decided to charge bars $2500 for a license to stay open till 4 a.m. during the anxious, angry slog known as the Republican National Convention — an event to make a drinker out of anyone — not a single establishment has applied. A POX [...]
Here is some proof that America’s lobbyists remain some of the world’s sturdiest boozers: employees of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce recently ran up an $8,204 bar tab in a single wild evening celebrating the end of their softball tournament at The Exchange. And then they acted like a bunch of cheap whining assholes, complaining [...]
TERRY MCAULIFFE IS SEXIST: Uh oh, it seems that comical former Hillary Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe is drunk again. In an interview with some Virginia newspaper, he recommended Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine be selected as Obama’s second black vice president, and not Hillary! We think Terry McAuliffe should get the job because why not. [...]
We asked you to come up with the new D.C. Cocktail of the Now, and good jesus did you people respond. There were a hundred or so actual drink recipes submitted in the comments, and your editors painstakingly tested them all in our elaborate Experimental Bar. The winning choice — with small adjustments by Wonkette [...]
There’s a new restaurant opening in Chinatown called “Asian Spice,” and Booze Master ScottL wants you to help create a famous new cocktail. “I would love to put a Wonkettini on the menu and thought it might be amusing if the commenters suggest a tasty libation befitting the name,” ScottL writes.
GOOD SWEET JESUS GOD: We’ve gotten a few million “HOT NAKED FLAPPERS” e-mails this afternoon, or at least a few dozen, for Paultardpalooza. Among the respondents were an elitist lawyer and a house of six interns! Ha ha, and they all consider Ron Paul to be comical. We will see you at 9:30 a.m. at [...]
We have our plans for Paultardpalooza, finally. We will meet at the gloriously iconic dive bar, the Tune Inn, at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow. We decided on the Tune Inn after calling various Capitol Hill bars and asking, “How early do you start serving alcohol in the morning?” Most places awkwardly tried to hang up, but [...]
The Paultards are onto us, the “addicts and derelicts.” We were only planning on going to the March drunk, not on drugs, although that sounds like a pretty good idea now that they’ve mentioned it. Anyway, we’ll have details for our 9 a.m. Saturday Paultardpalooza Pre-gaming by the end of the afternoon. If you’re interested [...]
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