Tag Archives: drinking

  drink like a child in summertime

Relive Your Childhood With Your Best Friend, Booze

Washingtonians are borderline alcoholics. We welcome this fun fact with open arms because drinking is fun, helps DC’s economy, and makes everyone look so pretty. But here we have something new: Did you know that Washingtonians secretly wish they drank more as children? That every time they successfully hula-hooped or passed 100 on skip-it they were rewarded with a shot of vodka? Why else then would DC restaurants insist upon adding alcohol to the most benign of childhood treats? Read more on Relive Your Childhood With Your Best Friend, Booze…
  the irish christmas

St. Patrick’s Day: Hurry Up and Drink

America’s celebration of the Irish traditions of wearing green and pinching and binge drinking and lots of green vomit is almost here! Hooray! St. Patrick was a man who wanted everyone to become Christian (no, he was not the patron saint of kegs and eggs), and you can honor his successful proselyting efforts on this most holy of days by guzzling stouts and eating bangers and mash at one of these lovely institutions. Read more on St. Patrick’s Day: Hurry Up and Drink…
  the first-anniversary shitshow

Celebrate President Obama’s Legendary First Year With This Handy State Of The Union Drinking Game!

Wee hew, it has been nearly one whole year since newly minted President Barack Obama gave a Not-State-of-the-Union speech, in which he discussed how “resolve” and “green energy” were going to save our economy. Remember this speech, when everybody still sort of had hope, and thought maybe they could get a “job” with the Obama Administration, just like 350,000 of their closest friends? Those days are gone, now that health care is dead and the economy is dead and Ted Kennedy is also dead, and our sullen failure of a leader has to haul his carcass before a collection of angry jackals (Congress) to explain how it only took 12 months to ruin the country when it took George W. Bush eight whole years. Read more on Celebrate President Obama’s Legendary First Year With This Handy State Of The Union Drinking Game!…
  traveling food purveyors

The Newest Addition To Drunken Late Night DC Eating

Many DC denizens, if given enough seed money to start a business, would rather invest it in something “fun,” like cocaine. Others, like the Fojol Brothers of Merlindia, opt to buy a food truck, travel around DC and feed drunk people delicious (and healthy!) Indian food. Read more on The Newest Addition To Drunken Late Night DC Eating…
  alcohol is not a drug in the bad sense of 'drug'

Welfare Recipients Should Say No To Drugs, Yes To Cheap American Beer

So this news channel embedded deep in Bitters country — West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky — runs the occasional poll asking such probing questions as “Do you plan to buy mulch from the city of Charleston?” Here is a new favorite. [WSAZ Polls] Read more on Welfare Recipients Should Say No To Drugs, Yes To Cheap American Beer…
  yes we can

Historical First-Ever President Barack Obama Congressional Address Drinking Game!

It’s been a long hard road, people. We’ve had some hard times, havin’ some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good. Feels good knowing that ignorant motherfucker is back in Dallas, let Texas have him back, right? Back with his own goddammned people, the old America, the old dumb America. Let’s drink to Change tonight, and Hope, and to a variety of other words and phrases we expect to hear as President Barack Obama makes his first address to a joint session of Congress. It’s the first-ever historical President Barack Obama drinking game! Read more on Historical First-Ever President Barack Obama Congressional Address Drinking Game!…
  money orgies

Actual Stimulus Party Report!

Well, third time’s a charm! Finally, one of you people out of the several hundred MILLION worldwide who claim to be Obama supporters held an actual “talk about our nation’s ruined economy” party, complete with a creepy guest appearance by Tim Kaine’s eyebrow. Read more on Actual Stimulus Party Report!…
  war criminals: they're just like us!

‘GEORGE TENET, DRUNK IN BANDAR’S POOL, SCREAMING ABOUT JEWS': A new book details that time George Tenet got totally schnockered on scotch and started badmouthing the neocons. If this is true, this is delicious. [Jeffrey Goldberg] Read more on …
  bourbon for breakfast

Give Thanks To Your Wonkette Pals, With Recipes!

While Barack Obama appoints Mr. Peabody as the Secretary of Science or whatever and no other news happens except the usual daily rain of Great Big Depression statistics, let’s give THX for whatever it is that didn’t go terribly wrong this year (the election, for example!) by sharing our favorite T-day food, beverage and dessert recipes right here, in the comments! Read more on Give Thanks To Your Wonkette Pals, With Recipes!…
  making friends and influencing people

Wonkette Met A Fan Last Night!

So after our little tour of the Republican Death Slave Equipment we went next door to The Liffey, the bar of choice for lazy journalists who want to get as many beers into their bodies as quickly as possible following four hours of hillbilly baying for Elitist Media blood. We sat down with a couple of the Reason kids, and this nice young lady came up and said, “So what did you think of the speech?” Read more on Wonkette Met A Fan Last Night!…
  party crash

UTNE Reader Threw An RNC Party!

The beloved UTNE Reader rented out an entire brewery last night, and your Wonkette joined many other media dorks for fun and hijinx. Here’s UTNE web boss Bennett Gordon, a bunch of people, some guy with his hand down his pants, and a blurry character who writes for Wonkette. More pix after the jump. Read more on UTNE Reader Threw An RNC Party!…
  the new prohibition

St. Paul Bars Too Cheap To Stay Open Late For Republican National Convention

Well, this is a terrible disappointment. The City of St. Paul decided to charge bars $2500 for a license to stay open till 4 a.m. during the anxious, angry slog known as the Republican National Convention — an event to make a drinker out of anyone — not a single establishment has applied. A POX ON ALL THEIR HOUSES. Read more on St. Paul Bars Too Cheap To Stay Open Late For Republican National Convention…
  drinkin' fools

U.S. Chamber Of Commerce Holds Wild Bacchanal At D.C. Sports Bar

Here is some proof that America’s lobbyists remain some of the world’s sturdiest boozers: employees of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce recently ran up an $8,204 bar tab in a single wild evening celebrating the end of their softball tournament at The Exchange. And then they acted like a bunch of cheap whining assholes, complaining that the bill included an 18 percent tip. So what were these drunk idiots ordering, Nebuchadnezzars of champagne from Thomas Jefferson’s secret stash? Alas no, because Ted Kennedy already drank it all. Read more on U.S. Chamber Of Commerce Holds Wild Bacchanal At D.C. Sports Bar…
  legends

TERRY MCAULIFFE IS SEXIST: Uh oh, it seems that comical former Hillary Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe is drunk again. In an interview with some Virginia newspaper, he recommended Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine be selected as Obama’s second black vice president, and not Hillary! We think Terry McAuliffe should get the job because why not. [Falls Church News Press/HuffPo] Read more on …
  cocktails

Announcing the Winning Wonkettini Cocktail!

We asked you to come up with the new D.C. Cocktail of the Now, and good jesus did you people respond. There were a hundred or so actual drink recipes submitted in the comments, and your editors painstakingly tested them all in our elaborate Experimental Bar. The winning choice — with small adjustments by Wonkette and mixologist Scott L of the new Asian Spice restaurant in Chinatown — will amuse your brain, delight your senses and, most importantly, fuck you up. Read more on Announcing the Winning Wonkettini Cocktail!…