Tag Archives: drinking game

  survival of the drunkest

What To Drink While Bill Nye, Science Guy, ‘Debates’ This Creationist Doofus Back To The Stone Age Tonight

The long-awaited “debate” between Secular Inquisitionist Bill Nye and Creationist Grifter Ken Ham is set for 7 p.m. Eastern tonight at Kentucky’s Creation Museum, and will be livestreamed at a couple of locations, including a Cleveland Cincinnati teevee station and the YouTubes. In general, we are not particularly in favor of scientists “debating” creationists, because science is not a matter of argument or rhetoric or of winning the most votes, it is a matter of doing science. Also, since creationists reject the scientific method altogether, it’s not even a debate where the participants are talking about the same thing. Richard Dawkins lays out the reasons why such debates are a bad idea, and we pretty much agree. On the other hand, there is the indisputable fact that Bill Nye rocks. So we’re definitely going to watch anyway. So get a big tray of spicy Archaeopteryx-descended wings and enjoy the spectacle with a selection of your favorite forms of ethanol, which you can metabolize because of evolution. — Don’t forget to thank your long-ago apelike ancestors for their acquired taste for fermented fruit on the ground! Read more on What To Drink While Bill Nye, Science Guy, ‘Debates’ This Creationist Doofus Back To The Stone Age Tonight…
  drunk as a voting skunk

Your Handy-Dandy Wonkette Debate Drinking Game

Hi, drunkards! Tonight, in case you didn’t know, is America’s First 2012 Presidential Debate, during which two men will stand on stage and be hectored and/or coddled by Jim Lehrer in a spectacle that matches no version of the word “debate” as the English language has come to commonly define it. Well, we here at Wonkette along with Drunk Jim Lehrer (pictured above) would like to give you your official drinking game for tonight. First, some ground rules: 1) We don’t do “one drink, two drink, red drink, blue drink” shit. What counts as “one drink”? At Wonkette, we just straight drink until we don’t feel like it any more. Out of a funnel. We call it the Drunklopian Tube. 2) It is probably best if you use the drinking game as an accompaniment to your otherwise completely healthy heavy drinking, rather than a pure guide, because depending on how long they ramble about “policy” (not at all, who are we kidding?), you may have literal minutes between drinks. That having been said, here we go! Read more on Your Handy-Dandy Wonkette Debate Drinking Game…
  closing time

Last Call: Wonkette’s Final 2008 Debate Drinking Game

Wait, we only have an hour left to put together a drinking game? That’s not enough time to create high-quality alcoholic comedy! Well, we shall do our best — if by “our best” you mean, “We’ll just throw together a quick phrase/drink list and you can give it a try, at home!” Read more on Last Call: Wonkette’s Final 2008 Debate Drinking Game…
  thank god it's thursday

Palin-Biden Debate Drinking Game Begins NOW

Enough with the high-concept drinking games, the fancy prose, and the unrealistic situations — that you are drinking “with friends,” for example. By this time next year, you might be sharing a storage space with your entire extended family, so let’s go ahead and enjoy the luxury of drinking alone and yelling at the teevee, one more time together. Also, we are all poor now, so the beverages will be dramatically simplified. Cheap beer, box wine and a plastic gallon jug of “Vodka City.” Read more on Palin-Biden Debate Drinking Game Begins NOW…
  it's on!

Coward McCain Will (Maybe?) Show Up Tonight, So Here’s Your Debate Drinking Game!

Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, which happens often when you can’t remember what you just said and have no idea what you’re talking about, anyway. So, huzzah, we will get to drink on a Friday night after all! Get out your iPhone or whatever and make a shopping list, because it’s time for Wonkette’s Famous Debate Drinking Game! Read more on Coward McCain Will (Maybe?) Show Up Tonight, So Here’s Your Debate Drinking Game!…
 

Americans Somberly Celebrate State Of The Union Binge Drinking

Can you read that caption, or are your eyes swollen shut from playing our beloved SOTU Drinking Game? It’s apparently one of the main hobbies of Americans now. We are proud to be part of this grand institution started in 1776 by Tom Paine, the first alcoholic blogger. Anyway, that’s a guy stocking up his personal bar for the State of the Union address. [AFP/Yahoo] Read more on Americans Somberly Celebrate State Of The Union Binge Drinking…
 

Earmarks! Liveblogging Bush’s Lame SOTU, Part II

This historic occasion deserves two posts on Wonkette, because pretty much anything deserves at least two posts on Wonkette. Anyway, George W. Bush is solving the economies right now. Are you excited? He is going to let us trust patients and doctors, and there will be, uh, some kind of government bonds we can purchase with the money we don’t have to keep our homes out of foreclosure. Read more on Earmarks! Liveblogging Bush’s Lame SOTU, Part II…
 

Liveblogging GWB’s Last (Maybe) State Of The Union

Mr. President George W. Bush is about to get in the hearse! And then the long scary car is going to drive, uh, a few blocks to Capitol Hill, and they won’t be stopping for red lights. So if this was your big night to stop the Iraq War by, say, blocking the crosswalks … well, good luck with that. Let’s liveblog this freaking thing and immediately forgot it ever happened. Read more on Liveblogging GWB’s Last (Maybe) State Of The Union…
 

The Eighth Annual G.W. Bush S.O.T.U. Drinking Game

Since January 2001, when our then-new President Bush gave his first fake State of the Union address — it was actually a “budget message,” as he had only been in the White House a few hours and hadn’t yet screwed up the country forever — America has gathered together for one glorious evening each January for our most precious freedom. Yes, we are talking about binge drinking while George W. Bush mispronounces common words on the teevee. Read more on The Eighth Annual G.W. Bush S.O.T.U. Drinking Game…
 

ALCOHOLIC PROGRAMMING NOTE: It’s State of the Union Day! And that means we’ll have an all-new SOTU Wonkette Drinking Game(TM) for you to play at home, with your friends and liver. How long have we done these SOTU bloggy drinking games? Long enough to make it an institution celebrated by the National Media, hooray! Don’t drink and drive, unless you’re a cop or a Kennedy, and check back in a few hours for the rules and ingredient list. (PS IF YOU’RE HOSTING A PUBLIC DRINKING GAME IN D.C. OR ELSEWHERE TONIGHT, EMAIL US NOW.) [Los Angeles Daily News] Read more on …
 

Actually, Here’s a Pretty Great Debate Drinking Game!

Wonkette commenter BlinkyThe3EyedFish came up with a pretty great drinking game for tonight. Maybe there really is hope for America! Oh, and before we get to the game (after the jump), here are the actual details for tonight’s thrilling episode of “Grumpy Old Men: The Series.” The debate starts at 8 p.m. Washington time, 5 p.m. Los Angeles time. In order to remind the audience that it’s a presidential debate and not just a bunch of senile old guys talking about their cancer surgeries, there will be a large prop behind the geezers: Air Force One. A total of 10 white Republican men will take part, with about seven of them anxious to be the night’s “Mike Gravel.” Courtesy of Mitt Romney, all candidates will have to be tested on the E-meter for excess Thetans. OK, let’s make our list for the liquor store …. Read more on Actually, Here’s a Pretty Great Debate Drinking Game!…
 

Remainders: When Your Ass Can Cash All The Checks Your Mouth Writes

Republican congressman keeps day job after trying hand at blogging, comedy. [The Hill Blog] Two-and-a-half years in office and Schwarzenegger is still shocked by how redneck California actually is. [AP] If Kos is getting paid to hate Lieberman then his credibility will be, well, about the same as ours. [The Nation] Read more on Remainders: When Your Ass Can Cash All The Checks Your Mouth Writes…
 

SOTU Drinking Game: Straight Up-and-Down Vote, No Chaser

We’ve got our night all planned out. Once we’ve finished the candy we collected from Jesse Jackson’s decimated paper-mache torso, we’ll sit down in front of the ol’ electronic hearth, pour out a drink (Wild Turkey 101, neat), and turn on C-SPAN to figure out the State of our crazy, mixed-up Union. Read more on SOTU Drinking Game: Straight Up-and-Down Vote, No Chaser…
 

Drinking Game For The Rest Of 2006

Every time Bush, anyone in his administration or the GOP leadership says “up-or-down vote,” do a shot. Should make things a little less painful. — AMBITIOUS HECKLER UporDownVote.com [Progress for America] Jack Daniel’s Whiskey shot drinks, Blood of Satan recipe [Drinksmixer] Read more on Drinking Game For The Rest Of 2006…
 

“The Situation Room,” by the Numbers

Didn’t catch the debut of “The Situation Room”? Catch up here. Henry the Intern figured out exactly how much you missed: How many times are you in The Situation Room? Number of times “in the Situation Room” was uttered during Monday’s show: 58 (17 times in the first hour + 24 times in the second hour + 17 times in the third hour) Read more on “The Situation Room,” by the Numbers…