Despite the plethora of Hill staffers, lobbyists, cynics, politicians and professional partiers in this town, Washington D.C. did not even crack the top ten in Men’s Health magazine’s list of the drunkest cities (that honor went to Denver). Of course, the study also looked at alcohol-related deaths before they looked at DUIs, so that might be part of it, but, who cares! A toast to being less drunk than 11 other cities! [Men's Health]

In a testament to the fast-moving wheels of our justice system, John “McSlappy” Sweeney pleaded guilty yesterday to reduced charges stemming from Saturday night’s drunken road head incident. He’ll pay a fine and lose his license, but earns no jail time. For those that think that losing his license isn’t a huge punishment, I can only say: he lives in upstate New York, where there is nowhere to run to, baby, it’s practically house arrest. Also, he swears he didn’t ask the cops, “Do you know who I am?”, but he was drunk. We all say stuff drunk we don’t remember later. [Albany Times Union]

Ex-Congressman John “McSlappy” Sweeney was, as we reported, arrested last weekend for driving up the Northway (aka, I-87) in upstate New York drunk as a skunk. At the time, reports said the recently-divorced wife-beater had a 23 year-old woman in the passenger seat. It turns out that “passenger seat” might have been an exaggeration.

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