Here’s Jon Stewart with the only reasonable response to the full week of coverage that Fox News’s Sean Hannity gave to the alleged horrors of Spring Break: “You will believe what they found, because you know” — drinking, sex, drinking, and sex. Still, you have to admit it takes some guts for Hannity to pretend […]

It does the heart good, it does — knowing that even in this media-saturated, “professionalized” age, there are still manly men who are willing to say “Screw protocol, I’m going on a bender.” Men like USAF Major General Michael Carey, the former commander of all the Air Force’s land-based nuclear missiles, who was so dedicated […]

Today is a great day in American history, a day that ranks up there with July 4th and whatever day the Constitutional Convention was held and Christmas and that day you take off in the middle of August when there hasn’t been a holiday in SO LONG. Yes, we’re talking about the day Prohibition ended. […]

Ann Coulter wrote a book. It’s her tenth! Congratulations, Ann! We don’t know much about the etiquette of these things, but evidently the tenth is the “fluorescent” anniversary in publishing, since her friends at the Daily Caller invited everyone over to their place this week to celebrate.

What is the best part of being in town at national political conventions? Seeing the speeches in person? Meeting an array of interesting activists? No, those are the worst parts — the best part is getting wasted and flopping around and pissing in the middle of the street while political activity is occurring in nearby […]

Oops, it’s Friday, better check in on our beloved 112th Congress to see if they did anything (please god, spare us) or even showed up this week. Good heavens… fisticuffs? “One congressman accused another of drinking on the job in the midst of a tense exchange Wednesday night over whether the House would debate an […]

Yo yo yo! We are not hosting a children’s Game of Thrones-themed birthday party with Obama as the entertainment/clown, as this picture might indicate. But we ARE conveying to you the state of the State of the Union of 2012! Which — here that thing is. The boring old Oval Office has already LEAKED INFORMATIONS […]

Score one for random chance: for the first time in the long history of C-SPAN, something interesting actually happened on air! Democracy’s best friend Andrew Breitbart (he’s also best friends with truth and journalistic ethics; pick one, Andy!) was on to talk about his book when he was asked to describe his “current relationship with […]

Last night, Americans heard the news about Osama bin Laden and flocked to the site where the World Trade Center once stood. And they arrived on this hallowed ground, they held up signs, tried to get themselves on teevee, and yelled celebratory chants, including “SEND THEM HOME.” But most of all, these people got drunk. […]

One thing I noticed the other night, while watching a girl stumble out of Tom Tom and fall headfirst into a cop car, is that people in DC sure do love to get drunk! Not that residents of other cities don’t also like to imbibe, of course, but I’ve never seen anyone in New York […]

The revelations from George W. Bush’s blockbuster graphic novel, Stuff I Did, continue to slam America when it is most vulnerable and butt-hurt. For example, the longest serving president of the 21st Century (really, so far!) says he would’ve never been our beloved national leader had he kept his fun drinking habit. Imagine that! Just […]

This is irresponsible and encourages America’s young people to drink alcohol until they are poisoned: D.C. Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton has issued a challenge to Stephen Colbert: See if you can handle “Eleanor’s Revenge.” Norton—who has an ongoing feud with Colbert over his jokes about D.C.’s lack of voting rights—has sent out a “set of […]

What better drink to enjoy when you and yours snuggle on the couch to watch some good old-fashioned queeran burning this Saturday? PBR, of course! A beer that reminds us that good things can come from Real America. Whether you think it tastes like pee or you actually enjoy it, here’s (almost) everywhere you can […]

It’s time to assess whether you’ve been doing enough drinking on outdoor patios this summer. Well, HAVE YOU? The three-day-drunk-fest that marks the end of summer is but one month away. Whether your fun comes courtesy of slave reparations or not, you can have just as lavish a last month of summer as Sasha Obama, […]

Washingtonians are borderline alcoholics. We welcome this fun fact with open arms because drinking is fun, helps DC’s economy, and makes everyone look so pretty. But here we have something new: Did you know that Washingtonians secretly wish they drank more as children? That every time they successfully hula-hooped or passed 100 on skip-it they […]