• May 27, 2012

drink

Well hello! After two years of eating and drinking her way around this city so you could know which small plates, pork, hamburger or pizza establishment is worthy of your hard-earned disposable income, it is time for your Wonkabout to leave the playground that is D.C. She is off to learn things in grad school, [...]

Happy third day of Passover to all our Jewish friends and a hoppy almost Easter to “everyone else!” Jews eating matza and the celebration of when Jesus returned to say “howdy” to all his followers before going away again are two exciting occasions that mark fertility, horny rabbits, and most importantly, spring. Before we enter [...]

Post-no-government-shutdown blues? Everyone was all excited for the anarchy and lawlessness, that is, until they came after the hoohaws of D.C.’s low-income women. Even if D.C.’s mayor did go to jail to protest the Republican Riders, short of throwing fetuses on Boehner’s lawn, it seems like Washingtonians are just going to have to go back [...]

Washington is usually such a lively place, with its rats and whores and millionaires and non-essential government employees. How will D.C. change when the Federal Government actually shuts down forever Friday at Midnight? Maybe you like the socialist safety and security of your paycheck and don’t care for this unpaid, forced spring break? Or maybe [...]

Apparently, in our little small-plates metropolis it is possible to have a simple, non-pork-based meal in a nice, modestly decorated restaurant. For a while there we had resigned ourselves a life where we would get all our nutrients from bacon-covered doughnuts and to drinking beer only from mason jars in dimly lit restaurants. This is [...]

It turns out that the biggest evil in this great nation isn’t the Koch Brothers after all. Their evil is no match for “heaping swirls of luscious confection atop rich, creamy pastry,” also known as cupcakes. You see, while this set of extremist billionaires was busy using their money to Kochblock unions, students from voting, [...]

These little pink flower-y things that were a gift from good old Japan will soon be a bloomin’ all over the Tidal Basin. Yes, we are about to enter the dark and scary tourist-infested time that is Cherry Blossom Season—which, haha, this year perfectly coincides with the next Tea Party Protest. Soon there will be [...]

With all the economic unpleasantness and the wars and the fact that our quinoa habit is slowly starving South Americans, here’s something to take comfort in: a new spot for the disposing of income, Standard. It’s a food truck without wheels where you’re charged sales tax on your bill — this is also known as [...]

Washingtonians are notoriously wary of dining in an actual building. The city’s cubicle drones prefer to wait in the godawful humidity for lobster rolls or to wander around a parking lot while consuming slow-roasted happy pork. But consuming gourmet, extremely satisfying food under a roof has finally become an Okay Thing To Do Again — [...]

Eastern Market is one of the last remaining areas in D.C. that hasn’t really attempted to find its New York stripes. It’s managed to stay classically and quintessentially yuppie! The kind of place where people engage in Civil Discourse and where there are real live actual children. Lots of them! Considering what a bad week [...]

It’s been a while since we’ve explored the backwards world that is D.C. politics, so here goes: Some five months ago, when bike lanes and education were still the rage, Adrian Fenty, champion of white-people causes, was Mayor of D.C. But one can only get so far when backed by the PBR lobby, and so [...]

H Street NE is notable for its ill-paved streets and random assortment of eclectic bars and restaurants. It’s our very own Epcot-like recreation of Brooklyn! And because it’s deliberately thematic, it has managed to avoid the onslaught of bistros–nondescript, sterile, nice restaurants that thrive on euphemisms (“approachable cuisine” anyone?). But Smith Commons, a new restaurant [...]

Some cancers get big fancy races on the National Mall, the support of the NFL, full rights over a color, and the satisfaction of raising millions of dollars for education and research. Some cancers even get the support of the brothers Koch, which is morally confusing. Other cancers, though, have to settle for the donations [...]

Saturday, February 26: Though you may prefer to spend your Saturday nights at a Beer Palace, sequestered in darkness and glazed in booze, there’s nothing wrong with doing something a little bit different this Saturday. Like learning about vaginas, for charity! V-Day D.C. will be performing The Vagina Monologues Saturday at 3PM and again at [...]