Tag Archives: dreamers

  You May Not Say He's A Dreamer

Jeb Bush Asks Media For Help Slurring Brown Babies

Might need changing, might just be gassy
Might need changing, might just be gassy Jeb! Bush continued a family tradition this week: say something stupid, then say something even MORE stupid in an attempt to explain the first stupid thing. Read more on Jeb Bush Asks Media For Help Slurring Brown Babies…
  Cantaloupe calves

Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King

Olé!
What comes to mind when you think of Iowa Rep. Steve King? Racist? Wingnut? Asshole? Dumb as a knapsack full of syphilitic fucks? Well you are wrong, because the only thing that should come into your mind when you hear the name “Steve King” is “Most Likely To Be So Mexican,” because that’s what’s true: Read more on Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King…
  Steve King sees what Steve King did there

Rep. Steve King Loves Americans From All Planets Except The Messican Ones

Bible's a pretty cool guy. eh saves aleins and doesn't afraid of anything
Oh, Rep. Steve King’s Iowa Cow-Tippers For Freedom convention has been going so well! The space between Donald Trump’s hair and his flag pin told the audience that he woulda beat that Barack Obama in 2012, and how he will beat everyone in 2016 because he’s got that year free on his schedule, and they clapped because they are stupid. Read more on Rep. Steve King Loves Americans From All Planets Except The Messican Ones…
  #SorryYesSorry

A Rousing Defense Of Rand Paul By Wonkette Against Scurrilous Charges That Were Made By Us, Wonkette

We here at Yr Wonkette, the world’s greatest and most beloved mommyblog recipe hub, strive to be like Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way, but with dick jokes. However, it has been drawn to our attention, by us, that we made a huge mistake by hurling scurrilous charges against Rand Paul on Tuesday. We, along with the rest of the entire interweb universe, accused him of running away like a coward when confronted by your new hero, America, DREAMer Erika Andiola and her also-hero companion Cesar Vargas. We called him “Brave brave Sir Rand Paul,” but in a sarcastic way because we believed, at the time, that he was in fact not brave at all. We assumed, when he was confronted by these DREAMers, that when he suddenly put down his half-eaten burger, grabbed his beer, and made like a tree (that means he leave-d, ZING!), it was because he was too afraid to answer questions about immigration and why he is such A Asshole. Read more on A Rousing Defense Of Rand Paul By Wonkette Against Scurrilous Charges That Were Made By Us, Wonkette…
  the other one

Ronald Reagan’s Other Son Says New Immigration Order Baby-Rapes Latinos

Michael “The Other One” Reagan has an eloquent column out today in “The Cagle Post” and it is so thoughtful and wise! Basically, Barack Nobama is Jerry Sandusky, child-raping Latinos, by changing immigration enforcement priorities for DHS and ICE. Let’s see: blah blah blah “Emperor Obama, Constitution, minions, bureaucrats, swatting pesky flies, Stalin-times-Idi Amin” … yes. Here it is: Now he’s doing to Latinos what Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky allegedly did to the children of Pennsylvania — using and abusing them. With his short-sighted politicking, Emperor Obama has hurt the Latino cause in the long run. Got it, Barack Obama is (ALLEGEDLY!) raping children in their bottoms, by letting them stay in the homes they grew up in so long as they are the world’s best children, have never ever ever been in trouble, and go to either the military or college. You can see how that is totally the same thing! Read more on Ronald Reagan’s Other Son Says New Immigration Order Baby-Rapes Latinos…
  this week in mexicans

Sundays With Jamie Kilstein And The Lord: Anchor Babies Away!

Republicans are mad at Mexican lover Barack Obama because he wants to temporarily not destroy the lives of brown people who have lived in America pretty much their whole life by renditioning them to a country they have never lived in so they can starve in a lonely wasteland of fear. Go get em GOP! Always on the side of the little guy. We all know America is the greatest country in the world and everyone wants to come here for our shattered economy, fried twinkies, and so they can take part in murdering Arab children with sky robots. The problem is we are SO good that now we have to start being selective! This is why besides deporting old gross Mexicans and their demon music, some people want to go after their children who were raised here, made friends here, went to school here, loved here, and even fought in our illegal wars! (And some people want to go after their children who were born here, which is a whole other level of fucked-up racist.) Now many people who believe in strong immigration laws have a good point. Why should some weird-talker come in to our country when WE EARNED our stay by having our parents fuck here. Do you know how much effort it takes as a ghost sperm to convince your mom to fuck your dad? A. LOT. Don’t tell us we didn’t earn our keep. Read more on Sundays With Jamie Kilstein And The Lord: Anchor Babies Away!…